notquiteold

Nancy Roman

Feeling All Of It

This week a friend posted the following quote on her Facebook page:

bestforme#1

And I thought –

Yeah!  That’s Me!  That’s Totally Me!

And I started to reflect on all those decisions I made that were difficult, but were best for me. Like dropping out of school years ago (I did go back later), changing jobs, and most recently, retiring.

And looking over those decisions, I see that I might have to change that little epigram a bit:

bestforme#2

Yeah!  That’s Me!  That’s Totally Me!

The sentence didn’t quite work with “I never feel bad”.

I always feel bad” – well, that’s probably a little closer to the truth.

Difficult decisions are difficult BECAUSE you are not just choosing to go on to something wonderful. You are also leaving something behind. Changing jobs means leaving friends, and leaving behind the known for the unknown. As much as you think the new job will be fantastic – after all, that’s why you are leaving – you’re not SURE of that. Important choices are always filled with a fear of regret.

Major decisions are harrowing.

And how about decisions that you make that perhaps aren’t best for you?

Of course we make those decisions all the time.

I know someone who left a job he liked because he needed medical insurance for a sick kid. I know someone who moved away from her family because her husband had a great job opportunity. And I know tons of people who do favors for others all the time – when they really would rather say no.

So let me tweak that saying just a bit further:

bestforme#3

Yeah!  That’s Me!  That’s Totally Me!

I’m not exactly Mother Teresa, but I can give someone a ride to the car dealer, or visit a sick friend in the hospital when I had originally planned a beach day. Or let my staff get credit for work I did myself. Because when it comes right down to it, helping other people feels pretty good.

And you know what also feels pretty good sometimes? Being bad feels good.

So then the adage could also be:

bestforme#4

Yeah!  That’s Me!  That’s Totally Me!

I can stop on the way home from Yoga and buy a bag of potato chips and eat them all in the car. I can dance all night in shoes that hurt. I can go to the drugstore for bandaids (for mysterious blisters) and come home with four new lipsticks.

But mostly – overwhelmingly – whether I am doing good stuff for me or bad stuff for me, the truth is:

I don’t know how things will turn out.

I am groping my way through Life. Hoping that as I grope, I clasp onto the handle side of the knife.  That the stray dog will kiss me and not bite me.

That as I close my eyes at the end of the day, I will be smiling. That perhaps, accidentally, I did what was right.

Because my epigram must be:

bestforme#5

Yeah!  That’s Me!  That’s Totally Me!

 

 

36 Comments

  1. Brilliant XD

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Maureen

    I can so relate. I am struggling with making decisions about my life’s direction in lots of areas. I am “retirement age” but didn’t feel ready to retire and in many ways, still don’t even though the two extra years I had decided to work will be over soon. I still don’t feel ready, mentally that is; physically though I am suffering a lot of back pain (office job, sitting a lot) and other ailments so I am putting myself through angst over having to make a decision and I must admit I am stuck. I am so afraid of making a mistake and regretting leaving work. I know I have to do it, sooner or later, but since I am without children or substantial interests or hobbies it makes me wonder what I will do with all my time. I have always worked my whole life so it is daunting to think of being alone all day without direction. People always say “you could volunteer somewhere” and yes, maybe I could but I have no idea what I’d even be good at or enjoy. Anyone else gone through this and have any fresh ideas for me?

    Like

    • Can you go to part-time? That might solve a lot of issues: Not as much sitting, still giving you some direction, and easing your way into retirement.

      Like

      • Maureen

        Hi Nancy,
        Part-time is something I am starting to consider. As you’ve said it would be a way to ease into retirement. Thanks for replying, much appreciated!

        Like

  3. You have a lot of common sense and insight. I love reading your thoughts, like this one.

    Like

  4. I guess the motto for many of us is: “Hoping and groping”!

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    • Hoping and Groping – I love it!
      Yeah, That’s me! That’s totally me!

      Like

  5. I try to help others and sometimes they make me mad, but I do it anyway

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    • Sometimes it’s more important to help those that irritate you… it’s the best response.

      Like

  6. I love this! I think each one of those statements describes me at any point in a given day (all of them, in one day!) I am trying to work more toward the very first statement since I am at a point in my life where, if I don’t make myself a priority, it will never happen.
    Thank you for this post 🙂

    Like

    • Oh, yes. I can experience all of them at the same day – sometimes all at the same time!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. jono51

    That’s totally me. I feel better knowing I am in good company.

    Like

    • And I am glad that I’m not the only one!

      Like

  8. 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Sue Marquis Bishop

    So much truth in your post. Enjoyed it. Womenlivinglifeafter50.com

    Like

  10. Lifetime Chicago

    I needed this today….great story……I am not crazy for feeling exactly the same!

    Like

    • No, you are not crazy… lots of us feel wonderful and guilty at the same time.

      Like

  11. All of it true. It’s hard not to feel guilty when I get that acupuncture treatment or massage or pedicure. It’s always easier for me to put the husband’s, grandchild’s, even the dog’s, needs first. Sometimes I just have to stop and say, “No, I need to [eat] [nap] whatever.

    Like

    • We all need to take care of ourselves. Think about the flight attendant saying “Put your oxygen mask on first before helping anyone else.” It’s the only way you CAN help anyone else.

      Like

  12. So feeling all you write about all mixed together in the ebb and flow of just living life.

    Like

    • Thank you for your kind words.

      Like

  13. I just loved this! Because it is so true… It’s so hard to know what is best for me, or others, much less whether or not I’m actually doing it. So I just keep muddling along, trying to figure it all out!

    Like

    • We are all just muddling along – and making the best of our muddle.

      Like

  14. oh yea, that’s me, that’s totally me (too). especially after the prolonged discussion with hubby today re exactly WHAT I am trying to do with my blog…don’t know. social contact? (but that seems rather empty to me)

    Like

    • Writing can be such a solitary endeavor. I sit for a year with my novel and no one even knows what the hell I am doing. But when I blog – I share. I love that. So maybe your blog is part of the same desire.

      Like

  15. darn, sorry–forgot to include that I will be reblogging this–thank you!

    Like

  16. Reblogged this on Rosepoint Publishing and commented:
    I’ve followed Nancy Roman’s blog for some time, “notquiteold” and tho she is younger than I see she is struggling with much the same questions at this age. Every now and then she posts a column that particularly touches me. This one did–perhaps it will you also.

    Like

    • Thanks for the re-blog, although I am not sure I am very much younger (than anyone!) at 66.

      Like

  17. It’s funny…but so true. Every time one of those statements pop up on Facebook I jump on the “that’s totally me” wagon. Ten seconds later there is another and “that’s totally me”. This goes on all day every day. I’m glad to see I am in good company.

    Like

  18. Not mother teresa also but shes my inspiration. This article is soooo meee😊☺❤

    new inspiration found😊

    Like

  19. Honest post 🙂

    Like

  20. Fineeee Ellee

    This is so true .. I can relate ..

    Like

  21. This is so precious and so on point! You made me feel so many things; thank you so much!

    Like

  22. Hilarious and totally relatable. Love it. For the first time in my life I recently made a decision completely based on what I felt in my gut — and I’m 60!! Working on it.

    Like

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