notquiteold

Nancy Roman

Category Archives: Humor

The Anniversary

Now that I have been working on Flash (short-short) Fiction, I remembered this story I wrote and posted eleven years ago. It was my attempt to think like a man, which I admit, I suck at. I’m seventy-one, and I still have no idea how men think. **** THE ANNIVERSARY Ah, damn.  I did it …

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Searching

This is my first Mother’s Day without Mom. I’m 71. I’ve had seventy Mother’s Days with her, so I am ahead of the game, I guess. And I don’t even particularly like Mother’s Day. There are too many women (and men) excluded from the celebration. Those whose mothers have died, or mothers whose children have …

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Collection Time

I’m here to collect on some debts. Some very old debts. What I am owed is: Sympathy. Sometimes you have little accidents doing something stupid. You don’t want your stupidity revealed. When you hurt yourself being a dumbbell, you kind of have to keep quiet about it. Pretending everything is fine when it isn’t may …

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Fantastic

I discovered something. It wasn’t a sudden lightning bolt epiphany. But there was a lightning bolt of a sort. The kind that hits you with a gentle slap to the forehead, saying, “Duh -of course!” I’ve been working at the library for six months now. It is exactly the right job for me at this …

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Teacher

I never really expected to reinvent myself at seventy. After all, it took me over sixty years to like myself the way I am. And yet, here I am, trying all sorts of new stuff and being all sorts of new people. A new/old role for me: Teacher. Old – because I was a teacher …

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Having Lost My Mind

I have now been retired for five years. I love being retired. I love living my life exactly as I wish. No schedule. No deadlines. No bosses. And now I have done it. Or un-done it. Lost my senses. I’ve un-retired. I saw a posting for a part-time bookkeeper at my local library. And all …

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Oversharing

Today at the drugstore, the kid at the cash register was one of those Oversharers. You know the type. Most often, it is an older person. Maybe lives alone. Maybe lonely. The old lady at the supermarket who starts by asking you about the pickles you are buying, and ends up telling you about her …

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Winning The Game

You know how we translate age for dogs and cats? Like “Old Jasper is 82 in dog years…”   Well, if there is not an age-equivalency term for electronic equipment, there should be. Maybe we could call it nano-years.  “This old phone?… It’s 107 in nano-years” – which in human chronological terms means: it’s three. So on to the …

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ABECEDARIAN

Recently a friend directed me to a story on Medium.com. (I publish there once in a while too.) My friend’s friend had posted a little writing exercise that I just adored. An ABECEDARIAN is a 26 sentence story, with each sentence beginning with each sequential letter of the alphabet. It’s a fun exercise that really …

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Down in Mom’s Cellar

Last week, I went down to my mom’s basement to do her laundry. Except for the washer and dryer, no one ever uses the basement any more. The stuff down there has been down there for years. Anything useful was rescued years ago. On the beam that runs across the ceiling, there are a bunch …

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