The Hollywood of Stuff
I’ve never been one of those people who sleep till noon.
Well, okay, yes I was. I was the typical teenager who slept the morning away on the weekend. But not till noon. Maybe 11:51.
But as an adult anyhow, I’ve always been up each morning at a reasonable hour. Even on weekends. And if it was mostly because I prefer an afternoon nap…whatever. It still counts.
Sometimes I have risen early enough to see the sunrise. But by ‘seeing the sunrise’, I mean ‘watching it from my kitchen window’.
This year has changed. Thanks to becoming a puppy parent, I am often actually outside at dawn. It is pretty amazing (in good weather).
There is a tree way in the back of our yard. It’s an ordinary tree. But in the early morning, with the sun rising behind it, it takes on an ethereal glow.
I was contemplating this tree yesterday morning, and suddenly I thought:
This is the Grace Kelly of trees.
And I think you may understand what I mean: Classic, exquisite, elegant.
And it occurred to me that many things we see everyday could benefit from similar personifications. By comparing the object to a person so transcendentally famous, we can immediately and clearly convey the precise attributes of that object.
We could call it
The Hollywood Metaphor.
A great old wrap-around porch could be The Tom Hanks of Porches: Welcoming, comfortable, unpretentious.
And how about
The Audrey Hepburn of Lamps – slender and upright and distinctly European.
The Oprah Winfrey of Teas – reassuring and warm, while instilling a sense of power.
The Humphrey Bogart of Opossums – so homely you have to love ’em.
The Gregory Peck of Bridges – trustworthy and enduring, but not ostentatious.
The Mick Jagger of Backpacks – leather so worn, your want to rub your body against it.
The Al Pacino of Shoes – over-the-top flamboyant, but you still want to wear them every day.
The Morgan Freeman of Antique Shops – perfect combination of seedy and dignified.
The Gene Hackman of Pickup Trucks – it doesn’t have to look good to get you and your stuff where you need to be.
The Marilyn Monroe of Brandy Snifters – lovely but so fragile you can’t bear to use them.
And of course,
The Meryl Streep of Saucepans – where you can cook absolutely anything and it always comes out perfectly.