Tag Archives: Humor
Beyond Clean Underwear – Advice from Mom
My mother’s advice extended far beyond bus-proofing my unmentionables. My mother’s advice was wise, witty, and right. The first advice I remember her offering – (there were lots of “don’t touch that, you don’t know where it’s been; You’ll put an eye out; Your face will stick that way” warnings) – but this was the …
I’m a Good Tipper
DEAR HAIRDRESSER: Before you start, I’d like to share with you just a couple of my little “issues”: My face is really round. My eyes are close together. My eyebrows are going gray. I have a short neck, but an extra chin. My lips are too thin. I’m very pale. Except when I’m tan. My …
There’s A Hole in my Bucket (List)
Famous People I have met: 1. Helen Hayes, 1981 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. Famous People I almost met: Several years ago, when my husband and I were house-hunting, we looked at a little house in Litchfield Connecticut. it was an eyebrow colonial – isn’t that an adorable term? I think …
Dirty Dancing
This is not about the movie, but I might as well go ahead and and gripe about it anyway. Here’s something I’ve always wondered about Dirty Dancing. Daddy hates Johnny for sleeping with Baby. Then Johnny dances with Baby, and Daddy finds out that Creepy (sorry, can’t remember his name, and not worth googling) was …
The History of Lipstick, Chapter 60
Continuing the History of Lipstick, I’ve glossed over (pun intended) Chapters 2-59. Here are a few of the chapters you have missed: Good Color, Bad Taste Tastes Great, Weird Color Moisturizing – Like Chalk Perfumed Enough for Pepe Le Pieu – And Right Under My Nose Cracks Under Pressure Gone in Sixty Seconds A Pink-To-Purple …
The History Of Lipstick, Chapter One
I wore lipstick on Easter Sunday, 1963. I was twelve. In 1963, twelve was young for lipstick. None of my classmates were allowed. Only the grown-up girls. The eighth graders. But that was the point. I had older sisters. I needed to be a teenager long before I was one. My lipstick was pink. “Pink …
Old Lady Stuff I Like
On my post, Not Quite Old Enough For This, I listed lots of Old Lady stuff that gives me the Old Lady shingles – sandals with pantyhose, rainbonnets, etc. However, I confess an affection for some truly Old Lady accoutrements: Elizabeth Taylor’s White Diamonds Cologne My husband gave me this for Christmas about five years …
Not Quite Old – Yoga
My favorite part of Eat, Pray, Love –no wait—my favorite part was scarfing down all of Italy. Let me rephrase—the only part of “Pray” that I liked was one little paragraph where Elizabeth Gilbert describes her meditation. She’s really beginning to enjoy the mindful solitude of meditation. So much so that deep in the serenity …
Not Quite Old Enough For This – Postscript
A friend considerably younger than I took umbrage – politely, of course—with my inclusion of brooches as too old for me. She has for years enjoyed brooch-embellished jackets. I concede that an unusual pin is sometimes a nice addition to one’s chest. So I withdraw that weird purple brooch, and offer this instead: Certainly I …
Not Quite Old Enough For This
I have accepted the fact that I am just too old for some things: Miniskirts Bikinis Body Glitter Visible bra straps Polka-dot manicures Bare midriffs Thigh high boots Pigtails (which I would never wear anyway) Navel piercing (which I would SO do, if I were twenty-five again) It is with regret that I say goodbye …
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