Category Archives: Humor
No Resolution Required!
I’ve made New Years’ Resolutions for years. (“I’m Going Big” and “I’m Going Small”) But this year, I don’t need a resolution. Because I’ve received a sign! A fabulous omen! From Groupon. Hypnosis. That’s right. Who needs resolve when you really just need a suggestion while you nap? I have been granted TWO sixty-minute sessions …
I’m A Fast Learner
Thank you, everyone, for making my Freshly Pressed post so much fun. What a great Christmas present! As I take a little vacation for the rest of the week, here’s a re-run post so that you don’t forget me too quickly. I’M A FAST LEARNER I hate the expression, “You can’t teach an old dog …
Smug Has A Short Lifespan
Oh, I have been amazing lately in Zumba. My hips almost sway; my shoulders almost don’t look tense; my breasts almost shimmy; my teeth almost unclench. I’m almost there. So I strutted into class tonight full of almost self-confidence. And there was someone in my spot. My spot. That place on the floor where I always …
As The Shoppers Rush Home With Their Treasures
Christmas Shopping Time! It is probably no surprise to anyone that I am a very good shopper. I recognized this talent while I was still very young. And I was reminded of it when an old friend from the neighborhood posted a memory on Facebook of a factory outlet store that I did not even …
DNA
It’s my mother’s birthday. She’s 90. I can hardly believe it. To me, she’s still my glamorous mom, and I’m her little girl, trying to follow in her footsteps. When someone says, “Oh no, I’m becoming my mother!” – I laugh. But really there’s not much I would like better than to become my mother. …
Fragrant
I don’t really have a bucket list. Although I have written about NOT having one. But of course, there are things that have been floating around in my brain that I know I’d like to do someday. And also of course, I’d like to do them before I die, since I think it would be …
I No Longer Wish To Decide
All my adult life, I have been a decision-maker. When I was a little girl, my hand was always raised in class. In fact, I was usually jumping out of my seat in my enthusiasm for answering a question. Any question: Where is Mexico? When was the French Revolution? What time is lunch? Having two …
I Take It All Back
Yes, I take it all back. Every complaint about living with my husband, that is. Because I was just reminded of another roommate I had long, long time ago. My first college roommate. Let’s call her Blanche. (I thought about calling her Repulsa, but let’s stick with Blanche.) And what brought Blanche back to mind …
A Helping Hand
Ah, Husbands. Their contributions to blogging are never-ending. Just yesterday, I wrote so sincerely about the sweet decency of the man. (“My Husband Secures His Spot In Heaven”) Yes, he is heaven-bound. He is a saint. An annoying saint. Yesterday, I also said I would be back to laughing at his eccentricities today. And I figured that …
My Husband Secures His Spot In Heaven
Today is my wedding anniversary. Twenty-two years ago – (to the disbelief of my family who had given up all hope) – and to my own surprise as well – I walked down the aisle of a pretty church and married a sweet crazy person. And I am still surprised (and happy and thankful and …
notquiteold 