No Resolution Required!
Because I’ve received a sign! A fabulous omen!
That’s right. Who needs resolve when you really just need a suggestion while you nap?
I have been granted TWO sixty-minute sessions for a measly eighty bucks. And it’s practically guaranteed, given the reinforcement of a follow-up session. I am planning to have the hypnosis dude repeat each resolution twenty times in a session. So forty times total. How could this not work? And I’ve done the math: Figure five seconds for each resolution, which is easy even if he is a slow-talker (which they all are; I’ve seen enough creepy movies). Anyway, that equals twelve per minute, so going through them all twenty times in 60 minutes allows for THIRTY-SIX resolutions!
At $80, that’s only $2.22 for each resolution. That’s a bargain!
So here they are. I’ve kept them short so five seconds each is totally do-able.
- Potato chips are nasty.
- Folding laundry is fun.
- Sudoku is a waste of time.
- French fries are gross.
- Vacuuming is cool.
- Vacuuming under the bed is especially cool
- E-mail can wait five minutes.
- Pizza is disgusting.
- Cleaning closets is a pleasure.
- Finishing my novel is a piece of cake.
- Cake is awful.
- Computer games suck.
- No one needs more than three pairs of shoes.
- Paying bills is engrossing.
- Changing the litter box is delightful.
- Bacon is horrid.
- Washing windows is enjoyable.
- Pie is crummy. (a little pie humor for the half-way point)
- Dusting is exhilarating.
- Cookies are crappy.
- Cleaning fish is amusing.
- Pumping gas is a riot.
- Ice cream is lousy.
- Sleeping late makes you sick.
- Cheap haircuts are fine.
- Cheese is terrible.
- Vacations are for idiots.
- Waiting for the repairman is always worthwhile.
- Makeup is a waste of money.
- Taxes are entertaining.
- Nachos are flavorless.
- Driving in the snow is refreshing.
- Old clothes are best.
- Diamonds are ugly.
- Accompanying hubby to the hardware store is riveting. (a little hardware humor for the end)
36. Chocolate never made anything better.
I figure I’ll be perfect by mid-January.