Nancy Roman

Not Quite A Friend

There’s a woman who belongs to the same circle of friends as I do. I don’t particularly like this woman.

I don’t like her politics. I don’t like most of her opinions. We don’t enjoy the same hobbies. We have little in common.

But she lost someone close to her and yesterday was the sad anniversary of his passing.

She met up with the rest of us, as always. She was outwardly cheerful.

A lot of us do that.

We pretend we are okay. We go through the motions. We smile. We even laugh. We continue to participate in all our little activities. They are necessary distractions. They help. But they hurt too.

I say that we have little in common.

But we have THAT in common.

That we go on with our lives, and keep our pain in check.

Don’t we all have that in common?

As she was leaving our little get-together. I took her in my arms and hugged and kissed her.

It was brief.

After all, I don’t really like her.

I thought perhaps she could use some affection.

Because I could use some.

We have that in common.

Maybe I like her a little.


  1. I’m sure your “not quite friend” was comforted by your nice gesture.


  2. Anita

    This was simply beautiful. Thank you for making me teary!


  3. Love Theo’s wisdom.


  4. I love the fact that you are empathetic and caring, even for those whose views you do not share and who you don’t really like much. I bet she took comfort in your arms. Well do e fellow human, well done!


  5. I’m so glad to know you and Theo!


  6. Caring about those we don’t like isn’t easy

    Liked by 1 person

  7. This is lovely and very perceptive, Nancy.


  8. You did a good thing.


  9. I’ve often found the people I don’t quite like are the way they are because they’re in pain. Maybe if more people gave them a hug, they’d be easier to like.


  10. Paula

    Well done! When I had a big loss nearly 20 years ago, I REALLY appreciated that kind of human kindness … and I try to give it, too. You did the right thing.


  11. You did the right thing following your heart as a kind and good friend.


  12. Val

    I made my mind up a few months back to try to experience someone I don’t like, differently. It’s astonishing how a change of heart can affect things. It sounds like you affected her – and thus yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. A powerful reminder that what we have in common is so much stronger than our differences…. Thank you!


  14. Lovely way to put things into perspective. I do love Theo’s social media adventures too – he often makes me smile…


  15. Everyone is fighting their own battle, every single day. The brief warmth of that hug & kiss might have been just enough to buoy her through the day. Wonderful! MJ


  16. Human touch goes a long way to help us heal. You’re a good person.


  17. Empathy is contagious. God bless you and your new friend. I love finding commonality among the strangeness.


  18. I found this post incredibly moving.


  19. Rose

    Nancy—I enjoy your blog posts and your sense of humor but I’ve noticed you’re not posting as often and I miss that. If I recall, I think you mentioned in a post that you were having a hard time writing or getting motivated. Something like that. Everything ok?


    • Rose

      Also, you’re not responding to comments that are being left. I always enjoyed the bantering back and forth.


      • Thanks Rose. You’re right…. I’m a bit overextended but I am missing blogging and the interaction with those who read and enjoy. I need to get back to those things I love.


  20. Tammy

    Thanks for the reminder. Theo’s tip of the day is also an excellent reminder you just never know what someone is going through.


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