notquiteold

Nancy Roman

25 Loves – I’m Working On It

A couple of months ago, for our 25th wedding anniversary, I posted 25 things I love about my husband.

Well, it’s my birthday (What, again?) and I thought I would post 25 things that I love about myself.

But I could only think of five.

#1   My creativity. I love that I can write. I love what I write. I love my blog, my novel, and my manuscript for novel #2. And my occasional poem. Writing gives me joy. Without writing, my life would be less.

#2   My optimism. I love that I see the best in people. I don’t attribute bad intentions. I don’t suspect. I look for the good in everyone and in life. Sometimes I am disappointed. Not often.

#3  My memory. I have an astonishing memory. Not only does that feed my blog with everything that has ever happened – (and see #1 for the embellishment I may give those recollections in order to make good stories) – but it also allows me to sing along in the car to decades worth of music. I can sing to Chubby Checker AND to Pink. I love that.

#4  My womanhood. I am a girly-girl. I love it. I’ve never envied men. Never. I get to wear jewelry and makeup and beautiful colors. And …  (a BIG ‘And’ here) … I get to do all kinds of other stuff. I can drive. I can pay bills. I can figure out apps on the computer. I can cook. I can buy a house. I can go to school. I can travel alone. I can walk in high heels. I can protest. I can be an astronaut if I wanted to. Just because I wear mascara does not mean I can’t wear it in space.

#5  My looks. I think I am quite pretty. I would never have said this at 16. Or 26. Or 36, 46. 56. I hated the way I looked. But here I am – 66 today – and I like the way I look. I think there are three reasons why this could happen:

  • A)  I understand after all these years how to make the most of what I’ve got;
  • B)  I was always pretty, but I just didn’t recognize it;
  • C)  I have actually and miraculously gotten prettier as I aged.

In my case, I think the answer is

  • D) All of the above.

So okay. That’s five. How come I can come up with 25 things I love about my husband, but only five about myself?

What I need to do this year is to get busy finding more things to love about myself.

Here are the 20 things that in the coming year I am going try to love about me:

  1. My neck. I’ve always hated it because it was short and thick. I wanted an Audrey Hepburn neck. But you know, I got this neck from my Dad. It worked for him. It holds my head up just fine. I haven’t got time to worry about it anymore.
  2. My Yoga skills. I’ve been practicing Yoga for 15 years, and I am still in the beginner’s class. I always will be. But who cares? I like Yoga. I don’t have to be good at everything.
  3. My cooking. Not great. But not bad. I can’t flip an egg, but I can make a fabulous broken egg. Omelettes are delicious.
  4. My laziness. There are advantages to being lazy. It has kept me from obsessing about housework, for example. And from becoming completely Type-A crazy.
  5. My voice. Never liked to hear myself. Fast, high, overly dramatic. But maybe, just maybe, it’s part of my uniqueness.
  6. My bravery. I never thought I was very brave. How I wished I were braver. But I see now that I put myself out there for people to judge every time I write something. That’s sort of brave.
  7. My dancing ability. My husband hates to dance, so I go to Zumba class. I can’t undulate my butt like some of the women. But I am getting to be a sexy dancer. Sexy. Me. Sexy.
  8. My clothes-folding talent. I can fold clothes like Marie Kondo. I don’t always do it. But I can.
  9. My introversion. There have been times when I wished I was more outgoing. But I like my alone time. I like the quiet. I like my own company.
  10. My eclectic taste. I like opera and hiphop. I like Monet and The Far Side. I like “The West Wing” and “Say Yes To The Dress”.  I like “My Dinner With Andre” and “Airplane!” I like Wordsworth and Billy Collins. I won’t let my lesser tastes embarrass me.
  11. My small breasts. I’m in my sixties. I don’t sag.
  12. My happiness with small things. I’m pleased with a new lipstick. With a pen that writes beautifully. With potato chips.
  13. My artistic ability. My paintings aren’t awe-inspiring. But they aren’t awful either. When I was sixteen my parents surprised me with a set of oil paints, brushes, and canvasses. They thought I was good enough for the good stuff. I will believe them.
  14. My teeth. Years ago a friend told me I had weird teeth. A few years later a boyfriend asked whether I wore braces as a kid, because my teeth were so perfect. My teeth are neither weird nor perfect. But the ones in front (the ones that show) are pretty straight.
  15. My pickiness. I refuse to be ashamed that there’s stuff I don’t want to eat. I am a grown-up now. I get to choose. I do not have to eat what I don’t like.
  16. My skin. Not just my complexion, which despite some age spots, is pretty good. All my skin. It’s lovely. Smooth, soft. It keeps my insides in.
  17. My sense of style. It’s magnificent. And so is everyone else’s.
  18. My ability to forgive. I don’t hold a grudge. I don’t stay mad. I usually don’t even get mad. I don’t even have a resting bitch face.
  19. My sense of humor. I can make myself laugh. I can make everyone laugh. I cheer people up. Lately, this is a precious gift.
  20. My family. This is a big one. The older I get the more I love my mother, my sisters and my brother. And everyone else I am related to, by birth or by marriage. They are loving and kind. They are mine. And they like me the way I am.

P.S.

Each year on my birthday, I post an unretouched photo of myself. Its purpose is twofold:

To say to the world, “Aging isn’t so bad.”

And to say to Mother Nature, “Aging may not be bad, but I’m not going down without a fight!”

Today is no exception. This photo is not retouched in any way. I did, however, take advantage of some very nice natural light.

Here I am – 66 today!

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65 Comments

  1. I truly loved this post, I’m feeling most of that and never thought anyone else did. Really loved the small breasts part that I used to get teased about, who’s laughing now

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, I saw a well-endowed woman the other day, and my envy started to build until I pictured her in 20 years. I’m okay with my little boobs – and now that I am retired, sometimes I don’t even bother to put on a bra.

      Like

      • Cathy Daisy

        Yes, isn’t it nice? I never would’ve guessed I would be happy with small boobs. I had rude comments when I was younger that hurt my feelings. Somewhere in my early 50’s I think,(I’m 62), I finally decided they were fine. That I was fine. Just the way I was and am. Happy Birthday!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Susan

    I love the new picture, and I love you, also. Even though there were times you made my life a little “trying” at times when we were younger, I wouldn’t have traded you for anybody’s else’s cousin for the world (still wouldn’t). HAPPY BIRTHDAY

    Like

    • Thanks, Sue. Our childhood was fabulous. I wouldn’t trade any piece of it ever.

      Like

  3. Thanks for the list! I’d put your sense of humor higher up the list. I think it’s what makes your writing great. Happy Birthday🎂🎂🎂🍾🍾🍾

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  4. Great post, Nancy! I turned 70 in December, and over the past few years #5 has happened to me, too. I’m still amazed at how beautiful I feel (and look!). I always thought I was so plain. Not ugly, just plain. I agree that the explanation is “D, all of the above.” I also have to say that many of the things on your second list are things that we, your followers, friends, and fans, already love about you. Happy 66th birthday!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Isn’t it amazing? I am beginning to see that most women feel more beautiful as they grow older. I think tossing the confining standards is another reason.

      Like

  5. Deb

    Happy Birthday beautiful Nancy. You have the best outlook on life and yourself. You always make me want to see the world through a better lens.

    Like

    • Thank you Deb, I feel just a little bit like …. Jack Nicholson!

      Like

  6. One of the very best things about aging is developing our strong sense of self. You do look fabulous (and so do I, at 71!). The one quality I would add that I consider one of my strengths is curiosity. You must have it as well or you wouldn’t be so smart and engaged with the world.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Curiosity is a great strength – thank you for reminding me! And I am seeing that most women feel more beautiful as they age. We can let go of the confining standards and that freedom gives us beauty.

      Like

  7. You look great and write great! It’s about time we start liking the parts we can’t get rid of. I’m still trying to get rid of self-defeating emotions and thoughts, but it’s been a lifetime job. Still — listing all the GOOD things isn’t a bad idea either!

    Like

    • Start your list. You’d be surprised by how many things there are to like about yourself.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Happy birthday, sweet post.

    Like

  9. Looks like you DID find 25 things to love about yourself after all! I only know you through your blog posts (which I love) and I would add “inspirational” to your list. That’s what you and your writing are to me. ❤️

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    • Inspirational? Wow! Now I have 26! And you know, it was easy once I got started. Start your list today.

      Like

  10. Well, happy birthday from me too- and maybe, just maybe, you could go for help to your husband and ask him?

    Like

  11. Love this post! Beautiful!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. It’s a shame we can find plenty to admire in others rather than ourselves. You sound pretty amazing to me

    Like

    • Thank you. Draw up your own list…. pay yourself lots of compliments. It feels good.

      Like

  13. Denise McHale

    Happy Birthday! Enjoyed your lists!! (had to print it so I’d be reminded) btw, I’m 66 also…and I get happier every year!!

    Like

    • Make sure you make a list of your own – you are surely wonderful in your own unique way.

      Like

  14. Happy Birthday!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. jono51

    We’re the same age (well, I’m a few months older), but I’m not nearly a cute as you are! Happy birthday!

    Like

    • You just need to work harder to see your cuteness. Try squinting just a little. It’s there – I promise.

      Like

  16. Happy Birthday! I love your list. I think the world would be a much kinder place if EVERYONE sat down and looked for 25 things they loved about themselves!

    Like

    • Happier and kinder. And it’s not that hard once you start. Make your own list today.

      Like

  17. I love your saying that you are pretty and then explaining where that came from. I try to remind myself at 67 I will never look this good again. Its funny though that you could only find 5 things you like and 20 that needed improvement or you need to learn to like. Maybe next year your list will be more lopsided in the things you like about yourself department. Happy Birthday🎂🥂

    Like

    • I say that to my friends when they say they cannot wear a bathing suit – “This is the best you are going to look, because next year you’ll be older!”
      Anyway, yes…. I think several of my “improvements” will move to the top of the list, now that I am aware of them.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Happy Cake Day! I think you could also add “charming” to your list and “quirky” for you certainly are both of those things too.

    Like

    • I’m not sure too many people find me charming. But probably a big YES on the quirky!

      Like

  19. maricelacorral

    Happy Bithday! Love your confidence and how you sound so sure of yourself. I only hope my looks are as good as yours as each birthday goes by.

    Like

    • Trust this: You will continue to grow more beautiful in your own eyes. Because you will love and accept yourself more and more as you age.

      Liked by 1 person

  20. You are so pretty!

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    • Thank you so much! It’s amazing how much more understanding we have of our own beauty as we age.

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  21. Those five things are amazing. There may be 20 more you can find or not mmbut why should it matter?

    Like

    • I’m already thinking about my feet. I need to give them some love!

      Liked by 1 person

  22. I found your blog really interesting, it must be a female trait to always find ourselves lacking but it’s good that we begin to get over this with age. I’m a few years behind you at 63 and always thought I was plump as a young woman (120lbs), spent years trying to diet like so many others but always retained my curvy shape. I now weigh 140lbs and was told at my latest medical check that I am a healthy weight for my age and friends tell me how well and shapely I look –so why did I spend all those years trying so hard to be what I could never be – tall and willowy??!! Now I accept me just as I am curves and all!

    Like

    • I wish the young woman who hate themselves could see a little more their own beauty, the way we can when we are older. But you need to give up your expectations and see beauty as it applies to you.

      Like

  23. I love this post! Well done and happy birthday. You are very pretty! I too like the one about small breasts – it’s great to hear I’m not alone there!

    Like

  24. Happy Birthday! And you are not just ‘pretty’, you are gorgeous! I was interested in your #5 because I, like you, now realize I’m actually quite good-looking. But never realized it before. Better late than never!

    Like

    • I think we late bloomers are fortunate. We never took our beauty for granted, and so we can appreciate it now.

      Liked by 1 person

      • That makes perfect sense! BTW, I’m 65. Just got my Medicare and Senior Discount MetroCards. My pic is on the second ID, and I must say I’m rather pleased with it. So there’s that (!)

        Like

        • Reminds me of my driver’s license pic taken when I was 64. We only have to renew every six years in Connecticut, so I told the lady to please please give me a great picture, because I will have to use it till I am 70. And she did a nice job!

          Liked by 1 person

  25. Pam

    Happy birthday, Nancy! Thanks for another great post. I’m 61 and feel the same way about liking the way I look now more that I ever did in the past. I still get compliments on my undyed hair color (on a good day) and my pedicured feet. Not too bad for a senior citizen. You have to focus on your assets and forgive your shortcomings.

    That is a lovely picture of you! I like your classic style.

    Like

    • Thank you. I will admit my hair color is not natural. And I was careful with my makeup. And of course, contact lenses. No plastic surgery though. But I won’t knock it either – if that makes someone feel good, who am I to judge?

      Like

  26. I like your article, very inspiring and thank you for your post

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Reblogged this on Journal Edge and commented:
    Article Source: notquiteold.com

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  28. You look great! What a nice, honest post. I like when people don’t know they are beautiful…better than too much vanity. I suppose as we get older we feel more comfortable with ourselves and don’t care much what others think. Take care!

    Like

    • I agree… but I will (with a laugh) admit that I call it vanity in the young, and confidence in the old.

      Liked by 1 person

  29. Belated Happy Birthday! You’re beautiful: inside and out. Hope you had a nice birthday.

    Like

  30. So much to love about this post ~ Happy Birthday, beautiful! MJ

    Like

  31. And I have to say, along with your loveliness, your sense of humor is stellar.

    Like

  32. Belated birthday wishes! And I hope I look half as wonderful as you do at 66! 😀 God bless 🙂

    Like

  33. such a lovely idea, happy belated birthday! x

    Like

  34. Happy birthday, Nancy! You look beautiful and have always been a blogging inspiration to me.

    Like

  35. Helen

    What an adorable photo!

    Like

  36. Hi Nancy ..happy belated birthday! you look great but more importantly you sound great! I think you’ve named more than 25 things you love when you stopped trying to name what you love and began naming what you want to love…it’s obvious you love them already, your writing voice is lovely, your introversion, your family, your folding skills, your skin! You are comfortable in your skin and that’s a feeling I’ve been growing into as I rapidly approach 50! Writing is the key. Even if no one reads it. I’m new to this…It brings new positive, gratitude filled feelings; not something that was as strong when I was 40.

    Like

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