notquiteold

Nancy Roman

Authenticity

The older I get, the more I desire to be true to myself.

That can be a little tricky for women. We have so many faces.

I see my husband – and other men – who seem to have one role, one face. “This is who I am.” they say. And it is who they are all the time. At work, at home, with their buddies – basically the same guy.

But I see women who are mostly like me. We glide from one role to another. We morph and change situationally. Mom and sexpot. Business executive and daughter. Artist and Nurse. Diplomat and housekeeper. Sometimes all in the same day.

I want to be true to myself. But I’ve never been quite sure who that is.

As I get older though, I see that all my various Selves are merging. My multiple personalities are dwindling down. I’m more me.

I’m a laugher. I laugh a lot at both at the office and at home. I even laugh in Yoga. I don’t save it for just one of my personas. Life is mostly ridiculous. Laughing is my consistency.

I’m patient. I wait my turn in line. I stop and let the guy in the beat-up chevy make a left-hand turn. I listen to my husband tell the same story for the sixteenth time. I try not to kill the dog.

I’m an introvert. Oh, I’m a good storyteller and I like people. But I need my quiet time to recharge. I don’t get my energy from hoopla and hubbub. I don’t like team projects at the office and I don’t particularly like parties. Leave me alone. Let me think.

I’m rational and cautious. I think through my decisions. I’m not much of a risk-taker. And despite my tendency to see the funny side in everything, I’m not emotional. I may be a laugher, but I’m not a crier.

And in addition to being rational, I’m also a rationalizer. Consistency? It’s my consistent failing. It may be admirable that I am quick to forgive, but I am also incapable of holding anyone responsible. I’m a terrible boss. Iย hate to address performance – I rarely even ask for performance.ย I correct subordinates’ mistakes after they go home. I make excuses for everyone. Most especially, I make excuses for myself.

So I’m not perfect. Which always surprises me. But there’s the plus side – that I can laugh at myself and forgive myself.

And I like myself. In truth, I mostly liked all the various personalities and roles I’ve taken on over the years. But even more, I love the unique and consonant person I’ve become.

agreewmyself1

Zumba class… in the perfect tee for the current me.

 

49 Comments

  1. Life is mostly ridiculous. True that. I hope one day that I can say I’ve meshed well with myself. Great post!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Marvelous, funny, real…I want to re-blog. Where did you get the t-shirt? Do they come in huge sizes?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Feel free to re-blog – I’d appreciate it. I found the tee at Nordstrom Rack. I HAD to have it!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Buttercup

    Wow! You actually do Zumba? Actually, I feel 65 because I can hardly get up in the morning and hit the gym at 26.
    But you’ve said it so well about women having many faces. I know what you mean! ๐Ÿ™‚ excellent read as usual!

    Like

    • Thanks! I’ve been Zumba-ing for almost 5 years. I love it! And there are a few women older than me (65) in my class, (and by the way, I lost 30 lbs the first year and kept it off.)

      Like

      • Buttercup

        I keep praying for all the junk I eat to NOT show on my body! I don’t see myself being dedicated to any form of work out.

        Like

        • I’ve been practicing Yoga for 14 years, and I feel restored after class. But when I discovered Zumba… I totally fell in love! The secret to exercising is to find something you love. I love to dance!

          Like

          • Buttercup

            Haha! Yeah that’s true.. But you know the worst thing about me? I hate dancing! Weird! And im lazy.. Nobody can save me! ๐Ÿ˜€

            Like

          • My husband hates to dance… which is why Zumba is so perfect for me. I don’t need him!

            Like

          • Buttercup

            Haha! And my husband loves to dance! That doesn’t solve my problems! I love your enthusiasm and positive attitude! Hope it works on me!

            Like

          • Dana

            I have the song “Build Me Up, Buttercup” in my head, now!

            Like

          • OK, now you have me curious… I cannot make the connection between the song and our dialog….

            Like

          • Dana

            Because here name is Buttercup.

            Liked by 1 person

          • Dana

            ๐Ÿ™‚

            Like

  4. Wonderful article again! “…laughter is my consistency” that’s my favourite line from the article. I love people who laugh! One of my colleagues once pointed out that I laugh too much, that I laugh at everything! While at first I didn’t like it, I realized that it’s her loss of she doesn’t! I feel stronger, healthier,more confident… And at peace with myself… All because I laugh away… Have fun laughing ๐Ÿ™‚ it’ll keep you young forever!

    Like

  5. Terrific post, and I loved the tee shirt. Wonder if they’re available in the UK?
    I think it’s important that we like the person we are. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

  6. Reblogged this on ugiridharaprasad.

    Like

  7. Reblogged this on Chinook Inspirations.

    Like

  8. Great post.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Holy Moly. I forgot about Zumba. that’ll get me moving again. I know I haven’t been around much lately. Dropped in to say hi. You look marvelous. M.a.r.v.e.l.o.u.s.
    Love the post. Yes, I do believe we eventually arrive at the real ME. โค โค

    Like

  10. I totally agree with you! As I get older, I become more comfortable with who I really am…not just the persona I put on for the world. I also find I’m more willing to try something new even if it does take me a while to put my plans into action.I’m also starting to understand that there is no need to be afraid of making mistakes -perfection is over rated!
    Thanks for another thought provoking post.

    Like

    • Thanks. By nature I am not a risk-taker. But I’ve also realized that some things that I thought were risks are definitely not.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. So great,Zumba is such a fun way to be in shape,be healthy and feel so good!I would love for you to read my post “Living life one step at a time” because it’s inspired by your thoughts on “The old woman I will be”.I wrote it some days ago for an course online I was taking and I love how it turned out!

    Like

  12. Great post — you’ve earned the right to agree with yourself.

    BTW, you describe me as a boss to a tee… I am a nightmare, but I am very nice.

    Like

    • I am extremely nice. I know my own shit… and my work is excellent. But I have no credibility as a manager. I just try to hire smart people and leave them alone.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Wonderful post (as always). I take exception, however, to your statement: “So Iโ€™m not perfect.” Of course you are – you are the perfect YOU! Revel in it!

    Like

  14. Sue Marquis Bishop

    Bravo! Womenlivinglifeafter50.com

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Beautiful post! I’ve often felt like there were so many different sides to me and sometimes they contradict. Love the idea of the selves merging and becoming more me.

    Like

    • I think as we get older we don’t have the energy to play so many roles – so we have no choice but to accept ourselves the way we are.

      Like

  16. I only know you through your blog, but I think you are just right.

    Like

  17. Like you, I am morphing into a single persona. It is odd not to have all the different me’s to grab onto when needed, being left with just ‘me’. I think though you are just fine, just the way you are.

    Like

  18. First, congrats for doing Zumba! I do not have the confidence or energy to go into a room full of women I don’t know and try to keep up with Zumba. I mostly look like I’m having a seizure when I try to do that stuff. But I do recognize myself when you say you’re an introvert who likes people. Over the last few years I’ve realized that a life of socializing was really more like years of trying to be someone I’m not. I can socialize and enjoy it, but I’d much rather be one-on-one with a friend. The social butterfly was an act that I’m trying to shed.

    Like

  19. We are similar in personality. I might not laugh as much as you do – except at stupid commercials and reality shows – but I’m so not a crying-type of gal either. And other women, think it’s strange that I don’t cry. Like, a “good cry” solves everything. Not for me…it just gives me a headache and a stuffy nose!

    I think it’s great that you are confident and true to yourself. It’s posts like this one that inspire other women, so thank you.

    ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

  20. Dana

    I like you, too! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  21. We all dig your T Shirt Nancy, I want one too.
    This is so funny, so true, you have made my day, I am laughing with you all the way to my next Zumba class…I don’t Zumba what am I talking about, but I want to!!!
    Love this story Nancy, a gem!!!
    I want to give you a big happy hug all the way from Annie in Australia ๐ŸŒž ๐ŸŒด ๐ŸŒŠ

    Like

  22. Reblogged this on Rosepoint Publishing and commented:
    I recently followed Nancy Roman and find her observations echo my mine most of the time and thoroughly enjoy her posts. Back when I was her age (and I’m older than that now), my mother used to call those years “the youth of old age.” Do the 70’s still qualify as “the youth?” No matter how our parents or grandparents tried to instill some wisdom, it doesn’t seem to take until we reach these years. We finally get he “ah hah!” moment. You’ve heard it, “if I knew then what I know now”….”youth is wasted on the young.” I think her point is well taken, however, just enjoy the skin you’re in–now.

    Like

    • I wish we could have that aha moment when we were younger, but we probably wouldn’t know what to do with it.
      Thanks for the reblog

      Like

  23. kathie nerelli

    Just discovered your blog a few weeks ago and have had fun reading back and getting to know you. We are shockingly alike–I love it!

    Like

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