As I’ve written before, every day helpful emails jump into my inbox, offering assistance in the most important facets of my life. If I had to categorize them, they’d look something like this:
The sex emails – though plentiful – I usually ignore. I would much rather read about makeup than male enhancement.
And the emailers are not very concerned about my personal fulfillment. I suppose they figure that if I am not interested in male enhancement, I must already be personally fulfilled.
But how I love the Fashion, Hair and Makeup Emails.
And I get them by the dozen.
Secrets To A Perfect Fit, Animal Print Sweaters, A Handbag For Every Occasion, Go Bolder Eyeshadow…. And that is just today.
But I was especially excited by the following promise:
“10 Genius Do’s Perfect For Your Dirty Hair”
I would SO much like my dirty hair to look perfect.
The truth is, my hair DOES behave better when it’s not so clean. A little bit tacky with yesterday’s goop seems to work wonders. As a matter of fact, if I have a special event, I make sure to not wash my hair.
And there’s nothing like a few days worth of hairspray to make my updo really stick.
But what about Day Four? Or maybe even Day FIVE?
And how about the day after Zumba class? Wouldn’t it be great to have perfect hair the day after I sweat like a pig? And I could possibly have TEN genius hairdos for post-zumba sweat-head!
When I was young, I shampooed my hair every day.
Squeaky-Clean – that was my motto.
Squeaky-Useless was more like it.
My hair is very fine. And when it was shorter, I could blow-dry it in about 3.25 minutes. But now that it is significantly longer – well, it is a good thing I practice Yoga, so I can hang upside down for fifteen minutes without throwing up.
(And speaking of blow-drying, what the heck causes the accumulation of lint in my hairdryer’s tiny intake holes? Where does all that lint come from? Is the air in my house full of fuzzy particles? Should I be wearing a surgical mask when I watch TV? And am I the only one who finds it strangely satisfying to pick out all those little lint plugs with my tweezers?)
(And while I am on the subject, my hubby had some belly-button lint the other day. But I didn’t think it would be strangely satisfying to get the tweezers.)
Back to the email promising me TEN genius hairdos perfect for dirty hair.
Until I opened the email.
ALL TEN are . . .
And not just any braids.
I’m certain my dirty hair can duplicate these braids with complete accuracy.
But I was concerned this Spring that couldn’t wear a cute backwards sweater at my age without looking like the onset of dementia.
Now braids at sixty-two?
I will definitely look like I ate out of too many aluminum pans.