notquiteold

Nancy Roman

Entertainment Tonight

Heaven forbid I should ever criticize anyone’s taste.

Different things appeal to different people, and who am I to say one preference is better than another?

Except.

My husband’s taste in TV.

Now that I spend all evening with my laptop writing my blog or designing outfits on Polyvore (and I have a 10th place finish in the 200th contest I entered, and I got a little badge for my webpage, so it is certainly a very good use of my time), I have relinquished control of the remote.

I used to decide all our TV viewing, and my husband mostly snored away.

And now he gets to choose.

Do you know that with 400 channels he has an incredible knack for finding the most horrible shows ever?

GUY SHOWS.

Like:

“Dual Survival”  – Two survival experts show you how not to die if you get lost in the desert or mountains. One guy has braids about as thick as capellini and he’s always barefoot. Hey dude, here’s a tip on surviving: Put on some friggin’ shoes!

“Pawn Stars” – a classic Moe, Larry and Curly trio of father, son, and grandson. Their shop is in Las Vegas, and customers are hocking their most cherished family possessions so they can gamble a little longer. If the appraisal comes in at $900, these guys offer the schmuck about $47 bucks.

“Gold Rush” – This is my husband’s favorite show. Guys who have abandoned their families destroy 5,000 acres of virgin Alaskan wilderness in pursuit of 7 ounces of gold.

“Ice Truckers” – Guys drive trucks in the Arctic. It’s icy. Roads are bad. Entire plot. Every single episode. But hey, the cameramen are there anyway, shooting “Gold Rush,” “Deadliest Catch,” Flying Wild Alaska.” and next year probably. “Pawn Shop Tattoo Alaska.”

“Overhaulin'” – Guys tell some unwitting (synonym for witless) dude that his car has been totaled, when they are really just fixing it all up with a new headliner, sound system and awesome flames.  You’d be surprised how often these dudes cry – especially because I would be more tempted to throw a few punches. And call my attorney.

“Modern Marvels” – Monotone descriptions of backhoe mechanics and candy cane bending.

“Lock-Up, Wherever” – I can’t tell you too much about these shows. There are mean people who look very scary. (On the other hand, I just love “Project Runway”, where there are mean people who look very scary.)

“American Pickers” – Abbott and Costello visit insane hoarders and buy rusty old signs and broken toys. I actually kind of like this one, since, despite stagey back-stories, the pickers demonstrate some real delight in their discoveries and always respect the crazy loons they meet.

and finally –

“Dancing With The Stars” – No, hubby is not a dance enthusiast, nor a fan of C-list has-beens. No. His fascination is specific: Extra-skimpy costumes.

And now that he controls our TV viewing, he is enjoying our evenings ever so much more.

snooze

39 Comments

  1. Amazing – you’ve drawn my husband!

    Like

    • Karen Aiudi

      Ha! My husband watches the same shows! I DVD my girls shows. I never knew you were so funny! I love your little observations. We should have done this at work. We could have come up with some good ones!

      Like

    • Our husbands are identical… I’ve seen this so many times on your blog!

      Like

  2. Theonceandfutureemptynest

    Really? You live in New England and he isn’t watching Wicked Tuna?

    Like

    • Oh no… not another ONE. Let’s keep it a secret, okay?

      Like

      • And I just looked up “Wicked Tuna”. Another fishing show! As we used to say when I worked at ESPN – “Fishing is boring. Catching fish is slightly little less boring. Watching someone else fish…. well….”

        Like

  3. Save your sanity – hide the remote. Now! 🙂

    Like

    • But how can I tell him what to watch when I am typing away and the TV is just background music.

      Like

      • I suppose you could always try sound-blocking headphones!

        Like

  4. I bet when hubby dozes off, he has a firm grasp on the remote so you can’t change your mind. Ha ha.

    I haven’t watched any of those reality shows. Heck, I hardly watch TV at all but about a year ago I DID catch American Pickers for a few seconds as well as Pawn Stars. DWTS, I’ve had my fill. Even the custumes don’t do it for me anymore. I always wonder how someone came up with the latest skimy thing and how it stays on.

    Like

  5. Until I saw one I recognized, I thought you were making these up. But nope. “Ice Truckers” is for real. Although I don’t think the guys (and I had to be guys) pitching it used your description.

    Like

  6. LOL! Your post is hilarious and so is that drawing! I knew from the beginning my marriage was a union of beauty and the beast. The beast’s t.v. choices are an example of divergent tastes. But we both like Downton Abbey so all is well.

    Like

    • If I turn on something classy, he will like it. But he won’t CHOOSE it.

      Like

  7. That is one of your best drawings ever! Love this post! My husband watches golf, the History Channel, and HGTV. We watch in separate rooms.

    Like

    • My husband never cared what we watched, so we always watched together. But we watched what I chose. Now I don’t care, so he chooses. But by osmosis, these weird shows are entering my consciousness. I don’t think it is helping my brain cells.

      Like

  8. loverbean

    What?!? No Duck Dynasty?

    Like

    • I had to google that. Thank god, no. However, I have witnessed an episode or two of “Swamp People” and “Moonshiners”. These are shows with SUBTITLES – no one can understand what is being said.

      Like

  9. I’d fifty-percent of those shows are on around here a lot. A recent addition is Wicked Tuna. All the episodes sound the same to me, so I don’t understand my hubby’s excitment when there’s a “new” episode
    .

    Like

    • I would never be able to tell if Ice Truckers is a re-run. I think the producers may have only made one show.

      Like

  10. mo

    So funny! I live with three guys….Hubby and two sons, and they have the same taste as your Hubby when it comes to TV shows. I sarcastically call these stupid shows “Reality Porn” mostly due to the glazing over their eyes that develops while they are watching. BUT….I get the TV for DWTS. Sorry I love it. (Wicked tuna? Sounds like a name for a sandwich at Panera Bread!)

    Like

    • I will watch Dancing With The Stars. Sometimes the dancing is actually pretty good. I cannot stand the way ABC self-promotes its own shows – the Bachelor is a STAR????

      Like

  11. They seem like they’re all the same show.

    Like

    • They are the same show. Wily unpleasant guy. Stupid sidekick. Artificial drama. American Chopper is the archetype.

      Like

  12. It’s 80″s movies in my house. And the same ones over and over and over and… well, you get the picture.

    Like

    • He doesn’t often choose a movie – unless Clint Eastwood is in it.

      Like

  13. We [and by we I mean he watches and I am in the same room reading something] watch NCIS reruns, the WWE &, like Steffanie, lots of 80s movies. Are all men like this? It sure seems like it. Poor things. So stuck. So limited.

    Like

    • All men ARE the same. There are lots of different varieties of women. Men come in one basic model.

      Like

  14. Laurie

    I don’t have TV so I don’t watch any of these shows. Unless I am in a hotel with slim TV pickings – if you stay in a Red Roof the only channels available appear to be shows with guys fishing, chasing moose, examining guns, discussing trucks, oohing over rodeo belt buckles…if the guys are cute I will watch for a little bit

    Like

  15. My husband doesn’t watch any of these shows so I will need to keep this post secret. However, he likes sci-fi, action and violent detective shows although he is starting to appreciate the humor on The Big Bang Theory. I usually grab the remote after the first snore. (oh yeah, I am reading too. We women are really multi-taskers!)

    Like

  16. Ray G

    Actually, you should count your blessings, since he hasn’t been able to find The Sportsmen’s Channel, or the Outdoorsmen channel. Wait until I tell him about Wid West Alaska!

    Like

  17. Sometimes I’m very glad not to have a husband.

    Like

  18. “Pawn Shop Tattoo Alaska”…it will happen and men will watch it everywhere. Perhaps you could get some kind of finders fee for the idea.

    Like

  19. This is too funny. I’ve actually seen Ice Truckers a couple times even though I don’t watch reality shows. I think your husband is on to something. I’m mesmerized by that frightening show. (Your hubbie sounds adorable.) This post gave me several chuckles! Loved it.

    Like

  20. I am laughing so hard my chair keeps tipping backwards. Though I admit to loving Lockup when I am in the right mood, there is a mood for this one. The rest? Bleh.

    Great artwork my friend.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: