notquiteold

Nancy Roman

Yoga Porn

I may be known – (okay … famous) for spending too much on jeans and purses and haircuts.

But I just can’t shell out a lot of money for exercise clothes.

It’s not that I don’t want to look hot during hot yoga.  But sweating into expensive duds just goes against my all my fashion beliefs. (Why, I considered swiping my deodorant over my whole body before putting on my wedding gown – regardless of the fact that I bought a sample dress and paid half-price.)

But they have cute clothes in TJ Maxx and Target that I can sweat into without guilt.  $19.99 is good. $12.99 is better.

Now some women say that cheap workout clothes won’t hold up in the wash. But I have a pair of Jockey brand yoga capris that I have been wearing for eight years. They were stretchy enough to accommodate my thighs when I was a bit chubby – and they still have enough stretch to not fall off of me now that I am thinner. (Yup, I have managed to mention my weight loss yet again- thank you for your patience.)

I did buy some good yoga leggings recently. I had a coupon from Groupon and bought a very nice pair of $48.00 Gaiam leggings for $24.00, so they were just a little over my $19.99 threshold. And the first week I wore them, my senile cat made a nice big snag in the knee, as he tried to get my attention during a particularly interesting round of Words With Friends.

The top of the line in yoga clothes is Lululemon.  Lululemon’s leggings go for $98.00.  And though I think it is just nuts to spend that much to sweat, the Lululemon brand is wildly popular amongst the cute-while-sweating set. High-fashion, high-quality – and the adorable little logo on the back of your calf tells the world you have good taste – and more money than sense.

So I read with fascination this week that Lululemon is recalling their best-selling leggings. The reason – they are much sheerer than acceptable. And this is not the first time that Lululemon has had an over-exposure problem.

God – in a rare moment of sweet compassion – created the human body in such a way that you can’t see your own ass.

But yoga teachers in the trendier studios noticed that they were getting a much clearer image during downward dog that they were comfortable with. But for the most part, they didn’t comment. Yoga instructors are not judgmental, as a rule.

However, these yoga fashionistas like to wear their Lululmenon leggings out in the real world. (That calf-logo is still there, after all.) And so out to lunch went these logo-laden ladies with sheer behinds.  And shopping. And to pick up their little progeny at school. And eventually, someone noticed.

And I – in a rare moment of sweet compassion – would like to offer this comment to these unfortunately over-exposed fellow yoginis:

“Ha ha on you!”

lululemonpants.jpg

28 Comments

  1. Somehow, when I saw the title of this post in my e-mail, I knew it had to be yours….!

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  2. Completely concur. When I zumba, I am a disgusting mess of sweat and yuck. That is why I’m wearing paint-spattered sweats and a 15-year-old T-shirt.

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    • Oh, I want to be cute when I zumba – but a cheap kind of cute.

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  3. You are so mean but so right. I exercise in a 10 year old sweatshirt and pants that are too short! I go to the old lady gym so no one can see very well anyway! I doubt they would have noticed any ass showing.

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  4. I saw that report, and immediately thought, “and that’s why I never spend money on exercise clothes.” Oh, and also because I exercise at home. In my bedroom. But that’s beside the point.

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    • When I work out at home, I wear the yoga pants with the big grease stain.

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  5. Blahahahaha! Good one! And my sage and rhyming quote of the day is, “A snag in the knee is better than a rear you can see.” 🙂

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    • Ha! (But why couldn’t old Merlin snag a cheaper pair?)

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  6. Fantastic! If there ever comes a point that my behind truly looks great in yoga pants, I’m wearing them all the time. Meanwhle I’ll stick to my old shorts & a baggy tee to sweat in 🙂

    MJ

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    • I do sometimes wonder what the person behind me is thinking….that I have a cute tush or that old lady tushes are rather gross?

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  7. Somehow I knew it had to be you, then I thought I must rush over to read you first. Now I am LMAO (I truly wish as this would mean I would never see the inside of the gym).

    I adore Target exercise clothing, both the price and the selection…black and more black. Must my style. I actually live in mine when not at work, so have some for the gym and some for everywhere else.

    I suspect the person behind you thinks, dang I want to be just like her!

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    • The most I am hoping for is that she is thinking – “I want to be just like her when I am that old!”

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  8. The only thing that could improve this image is for a bit of TP to be hanging out …

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  9. So completely hilarious I almost spewed my coffee! My husband told me I was laughing like a hyena. Isn’t he sweet…..

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  10. Hilarious!

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  11. I laughed out loud! I do water exercise–swimming suit bottoms get thin over time, especially on older-lady-size behinds. Only you never know about your own! 1st time I clearly saw a woman’s crack through her suit, I went home and held my suits up to a bright light. One had to go. And I told the woman her suit had gotten see-through. She probably hates me now, but I’d want to know. I tell people about stuff in their teeth, too. Buggers–only my husband and daughters.

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    • Now I wonder how long your swimsuit was showing you off.

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  12. Ha ha on them. Hilarious!

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  13. You see, I would exercise in the oldest crap I could find around the house because I wouldn’t want the pricey stuff to get ruined. Then I would put the LuLu stuff on to run the errands so everyone could see. Of course in this case they really would see everything and I would be mortified. Good thing I can’t afford LuLu Lemon. Great post!

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  14. I’m still laughing – ruefully. I’m far too cheap to buy Lululemon, but I wear cheapo yoga pants every day in my home office. At the time when I read this, I had already prepared my post for tomorrow… you guessed it, the cheapo ones wear through eventually, too… 🙂

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  15. Yoga-Barbie in your picture deserves a little embarrassment as partial payback for having the good fortune of having such a great body. Not that I’m jealous or anything.

    I wear old, thin cotton sweats with a broken cord at the waist. I guess I could style it up a LITTLE bit more than that.

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