notquiteold

Nancy Roman

I Hope He Kept The Receipt

My husband and I are having the BEST disagreement EVER!

My sweet and exasperating husband has a tendency to go a little overboard sometimes.  Which drives me crazy when it is dicing vegetables or watering the plants. When it is buying me presents – well –  I can tolerate it.

This year he outdid himself.  I wanted a bunch of new containers for the pantry.  Out here in the boondocks, food just keeps better if we use nice airtight containers for stuff like flour, sugar, cereal, nuts, etc.  So I mentioned (oh, maybe about 30 times – you can’t be too subtle with the male-type people) that I wanted new containers in various sizes.

And he bought me a whole bunch of them.  And guess what – he put an additional gift for me inside each one.  Let me tell you – it was SO much better than Cracker Jacks prizes.  I got candles and hand lotion and Christmas ornaments and chocolate and – wait for it – cashmere socks!

I have cold feet. I wear socks to bed.  “You might as well wear the best,” he said.

He spent too much on these things, but that isn’t what we are arguing about.

I also wanted a sweater and I even wrote down the store, the SKU, the color, the size. I did everything but give him gas money. He told me last week that the store didn’t have any in my size left. But he was fibbing. And I got the sweater that I wanted.

But that isn’t what we are arguing about.

I also wanted a new bathrobe, and he agreed that my old one had become somewhat pathetic. I told him to go to a cheap store, because I don’t like to pay a lot for a bathrobe, and he did. So I got an extremely inexpensive but comfy bathrobe to wear with my cashmere socks.

But that isn’t what we are arguing about.

He wanted to surprise me. And he wants me to show off my new slimmer figure with sexier clothes.

So he bought me these:

Waxed Denim Leggings

Waxed Denim Leggings

I am not kidding. These are the exact ones he bought. In case you aren’t familiar with waxed denim, it is exactly that – denim with a wax coating to make them tight and shiny. They look rather like soft, aged leather.

I have one little issue though –  that at this point in my life I also look rather like soft, aged leather.

Now my husband has always seen me through a very kind filter. Fat, skinny, old, young (well, not too young, we met when I was almost forty). He thinks I am pretty. I can forgive him a lot of sins because he thinks so.

And he’s proud of me. He wants me to show off, and he wants to show me off.

But leggings?  The label on these leggings describes the fit like this: “As tight as possible.”

And they are. We had a lot of fun Christmas Eve getting them on and off.

But I need to return them. I can’t wear them in public.

I’m pretty sure I look ridiculous. He’s very sure I look hot.

And so we are arguing.

I”M SIXTY-ONE, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

Isn’t he wonderful?

christmassurprise.jpg

Oh, one more thing:  He couldn’t make up his mind between the black leggings and the wine leggings. So he bought both.

49 Comments

  1. I’m pretty sure you could wear them with a long top….?? I think it’s wonderful he went overboard with your gifts. Motor Man rarely buys me anything that I don’t actually pick out.

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    • Maybe….. but maybe not. I don’t really trust my own judgment here, because I really do think they are kind of hot.

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      • Go for it – you only live once. Age shouldn’t be the determining factor: I see lots of young gals in clothes they shouldn’t be wearing. They must not have mirrors at home…

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        • Yeah… if those young dumb things can wear clothes they shouldn’t be wearing… then I can wear clothes I shouldn’t be wearing! 😉

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  2. He IS wonderful!

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    • Absolutely. When he is not making me lose my mind, he’s blowing my mind.

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  3. Wonderful — can you just wear them around the house? You know, with your french maid apron and cap?

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  4. he is a keeper

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  5. pharphelonus

    Good on ya, hubs. Even if she doees return them, you told her what she needed to know most – that you find her smoking hot. well done, lad.

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  6. loverbean

    Of course you can wear them…tastefully. I have the exact pair at almost 53. I’ll wear them tucked into boots or with ballet flats and a tunic length belted sweater that covers the butt! Have fun!

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    • Are they really tight? Do they stretch out a little as you wear them? Can you do things like sit down, go up the stairs, bend your knees?

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  7. You didn’t get a great figure so you could keep it hidden away. So keep at least one pair and wear them regularly to remind yourself and him that you’re the hot chick you are. 61? Phooey.

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    • I think one pair is a good compromise. One pair might mean that I am occasionally sexy. Two pair might put me in the slutty category.

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  8. Wear them at home. Continue having fun getting them on and off.

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  9. oldervoter

    At least keep one pair definitely! And do NOT keep them at home. Celebrate that you look hot in them and he knows it.

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    • Perhaps I will wear them on my 62th birthday.

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  10. Keep them and wear them at least at home… have more fun taking them off! LOL

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  11. “Isn’t he wonderful?”
    Did you really need to ask?

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    • I just need to remind myself, since a day later he is making me crazy again.

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  12. Wow! What a gem of a husband you have there. Keep the hot waxed jeans. Sometimes it takes a while to get used to things and think of the fun you two will have getting them on and off! 🙂

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  13. I have never even heard waxed denim. Maybe it’s because I’m now in my elastic waistband phase.

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    • I’m not sure they come in the elastic waistband variety….

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  14. Keep them. Wear them. Enjoy them. Age is a state of mind. I have a sneaking suspicion you don’t FEEL 61 – so why should you ‘act’ it? I bought my first pair of leggings a couple of months ago at 59 (okay, so they’re not the hot wax type, but still, I’ve never owned leggings before) and I wear them with a couple of long tunics and boots or matchy socks and ballet flats. And they make me feel 32 (which is my ‘real’ inside age). Enjoy (and good for hubby – all I got from mine was a frying pan and a calendar!)

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  15. What’s wrong with slutty? Enjoy!

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  16. What a great husband! Personally, I think you can pull it off.

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  17. I bet you look fabulous in them! And if he thinks you look hot, then it’s all good. Best argument ever! 🙂

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  18. One of my favorite Christmas Stories by far.

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  19. What a guy! I think it’s really sweet that he thinks you can pull it off. Most women of any age could not. My mother in law once bought me electric blue leather pants. What does that say? Dress sexier for my son?

    Besides…do you really need another cardigan? Just teasing. Of course you do.

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    • OF COURSE, I need another cardigan. I can’t imagine my mother-in-law would ever have given me blue leather pants. A rosary, maybe.

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      • My mother in law probably owns those waxed jeans. She’s 65.

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        • Okay, now I’m REALLY depressed. I’m old enough to be your mother-in-law…. (and here I’ve been thinking of myself as your just slightly older cousin….)

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  20. well, i had to google it to see them properly and on models. and now i think you can absolutely wear them. blousy shirt that covers your butt or long cardigan (*gasp*). why not? boots or flats or i even saw one gal that had on those high boot/shoe things.

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    • Covering butt and crotch is a definite requirment for anyone over 60. A tunic is called for.

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  21. Hey, wear them proudly! I would suggest checking out the reviews on them and making sure that the coating doesn’t come off easily. I have a pair of coated denim that lost most of the coating with the first wash. But, do wear them. Don’t let yourself be robbed of the pleasure of wearing something so beautiful and that makes your husband happy.

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    • I read that if you wash them carefully, the coating will last a while, but as it wears off, they will look like really soft faded jeans, and they are quite pretty. The trick, I guess, is getting to the point of “wearing them proudly” from the starting point of “unbelievably self-conscious”. That’s a really long trip.

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  22. Do you like them? Who cares what other people think?

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    • Actually, I love them. But I’ve always cared way too much what other people think. I live for strangers’ good opinion. Sad, but true.

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  23. Your husband is awesome and clearly knows his wife is too. So the question is…what have you always thought he might look good in? Perfect opportunity for a little good natured pay back 🙂

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    • That’s an interesting idea…. there is NO WAY he would wear anything that he doesn’t like. I like a man in a long-sleeve henley for example. NO WAY… NOT EVER.. NEVER.

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  24. dragonhavn (@dragonhavn)

    Long apres ski sweater a la the 1960’s ski bunny movies. Thick, soft, hints at the figure and is nearly long enough to qualify as a dress in it’s own right. I always wanted to wear skinny skinny jeans and one of those sweaters … LOL. You’ll look smashing.

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  25. Marcie

    Haven’t been here in awhile..:-(! And you never fail to make me laugh. Oh – if only those were the only disagreements and arguments we might have. And – I bet you look fabulous in those waxed jeans. No time like now to enjoy them!! Wishing you and yours all the best in this up and coming new year!!!

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  26. loverbean

    I should have mentioned that I did size up one size…

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  27. Ah hah! THAT’S what they are. “As tight as possible.” I love it. Although I’m still hung up on the fact that he put a gift in each of those containers. He is awesome.

    I vote for keeping the pants, but I fear I’m too late.

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  28. He’s a gem! And thanks for letting us know he also makes you crazy.
    At least keep one pair. Wear a looooong top and go out to eat–all you have to do is walk in and out. “Waxed jeans” just sounds wrong, though.

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