Oh, Grow Up!
Remember that book from about twenty-five years ago – “All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten” ?
It was a cute little book with life lessons like:
“Put things back.”
“Don’t take stuff that isn’t yours.”
“Wash your hands before you eat.”
The book was a huge hit, but I’m not sure how much it really taught me. I already knew that I should Flush.
But everyone wishes they could live as simply as children again.
Just this week I read an article about bringing back the child in you, “Five Things You Can Learn From Children“.
1. Laugh More.
2. Love More.
3. Take More Risks.
4. Stay Curious.
5. Be Forgiving.
Well, okay, sure. Nice, but obvious. Except the ‘Take More Risks‘ part. From what I’ve seen, kids are incredibly fearful of all kinds of stuff. Cauliflower. Ants. Beards. Balloons. Water. Makes my fear of marionettes and escalators entirely reasonable.
But while we are trying to be more childlike every day – Let’s please remember that we aren’t really children anymore.
So, Grow Up!
Here’s my list of behaviors that are not Childlike. They’re Childish.
1. No one cares that it’s your birthday. Everyone has one. You aren’t special. Don’t expect your co-workers to remember. Consider yourself ahead of the game if your spouse remembers.
2. A tantrum will not get you what you want. Well, it might work the first year you are married. After that, you get ignored. Tantrums are worse at work. No one will want to work with you. Expect to get fired. If you own your own business, expect ridiculous turnover. And get a good lawyer.
3. Remember how your mother said that you were a genius? This may not be true. Get an independent opinion before you run for office, submit that manuscript, or audition for American Idol.
4. On the other hand, remember how your father said you were a moron? This may also have been an exaggeration. It’s amazing what you can accomplish by paying attention, reading directions, and sticking with it. Try shit.
5. Despite how much fun it was in second grade, not everyone should (or wants to) see your underpants.