Nancy Roman

Niagara Falls, Part One

Thursday, May 24, 2012.

One of my very best days.

Well, not the whole day.

I had an excellent nineteen minutes.

The best nineteen hair minutes of my life.

I took my shower and washed my hair as usual. Also as usual, I applied my three special styling products. A special root lifter first, then I combined a special styling cream with a different special styling cream. It’s a special process.

And I dried with an ionic dryer and a big round metal barrel brush.

Then I ironed (I keep my ironing board set up because I am a little obsessed with ironing. Not like how uncaring I am about my hair and makeup). I dressed in my freshly pressed (I’m still gloating over Freshly Pressed) clothes and went back into the bathroom to do my makeup.

And there it was. Looking me right in the mirror.

My hair was perfect.

You know how once in a while your hair comes out absolutely right?

I don’t.

I’ve never had a perfect hair day.

But there it was. Perfect.

Great volume, but not wild. And I had the kind of swinging shine that I have only seen on commercials. (and on my grandniece – it is just wrong to envy a four-year-old.)

I finished my makeup, and Voila!

A stunning sixty-one-year old.

I went down to breakfast.

While waiting for my husband to notice what a gorgeous wife he had, which I was sure would only be a matter of time…just another cup of coffee to get his eyes unstuck…

I had a hot flash.

Do you remember the scene in “Airplane” where Robert Hays starts to sweat?

Yeah, like that.

So I got nineteen minutes of great hair.

Am I discouraged?

Hell, no!

If perfect hair can happen once, it can happen again.

Because now I know my hair has POTENTIAL.

I just have to wait till my hormones calm down.

I figured I’ll be seventy-three.

I can hardly wait.


  1. I wouldn’t have believed this if I hadn’t seen a stupendous hot flash some years ago. We were all away on a ladies’ weekend. One of the new gals suddenly ripped off her clothes as she was turning fire engine red. The water gushed out of her pores like…Niagara Falls. Her friend grabbed a towel and it was SOAKED.

    At least you had a perfect moment before the gusher. LOL. Like you said, there’s always a next time if there was a first. Positive thinking. Excellent.

    I laughed till I cried (that’s my gusher).


  2. pharphelonus

    Aww. Glad you had those 19 minutes. Hope you floated on air the rest of the day.


  3. Oh – can I relate! When you get a chance, please check out my post today – I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger award…and now you need to pay it forward if you are so inclined (once the hot flash passes of course)…


    • Thank you for the nomination. I am delighted when I make someone laugh. There’s no better feeling.


  4. That happened to me (the hot flashes not the perfect hair — I am still waiting for that). I stood outside in my barefeet and nightgown in the middle of January trying to cool down contemplating whether people could really burst into flames. So glad you had your hair moment. I am still waiting for mine.


  5. Wait…did you make Freshly Pressed and I missed it? IMPRESSIVE. Tell me how it feels since i don’t think I’ll be experiencing that.


    • Michelle Gillies

      Yes, Yes do tell!


      • Yes, I got Freshly Pressed the first week in May with “Please Don’t Come Back.” It was an amazing experience with over 11,000 views in three days. The downside is that I had included a horrible picture of myself from 1977. I figured it wouldn’t be so bad to show my unfortunate style sense with a few readers. I didn’t figure on 11,000.


  6. Michelle Gillies

    Those perfect moments with my hair only last about 15 minutes even without the hot flashes.


    • Michelle Gillies

      Yes, Yes, do tell.


    • But I had never had one before, so I’m savoring it!


  7. Did your hubby ever notice? Either the hair or the hot flash? I love how you can take any ordinary od thing and make it special.


  8. I’m still waiting for my 19 minutes of perfect hair…


  9. It seems that most of us have had a love-hate relationship with our hair. Unfortunately, for some of us, there hasn’t been a lot of love. However, it does give us something else to write about! 🙂


  10. I may have thought you were exaggerating for literary effect had I not experienced the dreaded hot flash myself. The first time I went up in flames I could not for the life of me understand how it was that no one else in the room was responding to the sudden extreme rise in temperature. “Surely,” I thought,” they should be just as shocked as I.” It took a moment to realize this was a case on internal combustion. Sorry about the hair, but 19 minutes is still 19 really special moments. It will happen again.


  11. A couple of days ago I pulled off my motorcycle helmet after a half-hour ride. I’d worn the helmet long enough to squash down the frizz, and when I pulled the helmet off, my hair did one of those supermodel-in-the-wind things and settled into sheer perfection. It lasted about 19 seconds.

    Think I’ll go for another ride today…




  13. Perfect hair? What’s that? Sadly, I haven’t been to a hair salon since December… and I used to go every 4 weeks. At first I was just afraid to try someone new as we are currently “living on the road”. Now I’m thinking I just want to see how long I can go before I either take scissors to it myself, or my husband drives to one himself because if he hears me say “My God, I really need to do something with this mop.” one more time he’ll flip! As far as the hot flashes go, at 46 I think I’m getting baby ones but I’m sure the real deal is not too far off.
    Thanks for the chuckle… and the warning. 😉


    • I am hoping if I am ever in a coma, my hairdresser will come and fix my roots every six weeks.


  14. With you slathering all kinds of special all over your hair, no wonder it looked perfect!


    • Niagra Falls! Slowly I turned…step by step…


    • It’s especially special stuff.


  15. Oh my God, this was funny. This should seriously be published somewhere. And now I know what I have to look forward to when I start getting the hot flashes. Goody.


  16. Perfect! And, not to brag, but I have perfect hair days regularly. Always, always the day before a hair cut/color appointment. The best way to have a bad hair day is to then cancel said hair cut/color appointment.


  17. You crack me up!

    I too had a “hair day.” I went to my small town barber and he said, “what will it be?” and I smiled and said, “Shave it all. Burr.” and he said, “Summertime haircut huh?” and I said “yeah, that will work.”

    Wife came home about 3PM and she said “You got a haircut, a really goooood haircut!” and I said, “Yeah, whadya think?” and she said, “You got Obama ears, I never noticed that before.”

    Me neither … but by gawd, I think she is right.

    Great post by the way.



    • I’m sure Obama ears look good on you. On me, not so much.


  18. Oh, dear. 19 minutes of perfect hair. I can relate so, so much. (For me, it’s usually a wave of humidity, or wind, that kills it). This post was so funny that I forgive you for putting a deadly fear of future hot flashes into my already anxiety-ridden head.


  19. You are every woman’s woman! I just can’t believe how much I enjoy your posts and your fun, funny, straightforward way of putting things. This is no exception right down to the bedraggled illustration! 🙂


  20. I love that scene in Airplane.

    My hair looks perfect…oh wait, it’s up in a ponytail again just like yesterday and the day before that and the day before that. . . That is my solution to hair issues.


  21. Oh girl, I hear you!! I blog about that too! You are fun and funny. Thanks for the smile.


  22. I was walking by my oven and thought I had left it on when I had my first hot flash. I checked it twice before I realized the intense heat was coming from me! How I hate those things.


  23. I’m with Monica. 19 minutes would be a blessing at this point!


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