notquiteold

Nancy Roman

Zumba Babe

So we’re watching TV a few nights ago, and a commercial comes on for Zumba DVDs.

There’s a really hot babe – she’s sweating like someone poured a Flashdance bucket on her. She’s what they used to call ‘scantily clad’. And she’s thrusting her lady parts like her joints are lubricated with… um… lubricant.

By this time of the evening, my husband is usually sacked out and snoring on the sofa. But he’s curiously awake.

He laughs.

“Look at that,’ he says. “They use sex to sell everything. Look what they’re saying Zumba is like.”

“Well, it sort of is like that,” I answer.

“But you take Zumba,” he says, confused.

“Yup,” I say.

He considers the idea.

“That’s why your hips are sore?” he asks.

“Uh-huh.”

The commercial is over and the cooking competition comes back on.

After a while, my husband says, “It’s supposed to be icy on Saturday. Maybe I should take you in the truck to your Zumba class.”

“A ride would be nice. You could go out for coffee or something.”

He’s quiet.

I explain, “We don’t have an audience in Zumba.”

In a novel, the author would describe his look as ‘crestfallen’ – and his crest did noticeably fall.

My husband’s brain can totally disregard reality.

I love that about him.

Me - in my husband's mind.


***************

Me.

38 Comments

  1. Your posts always leave me laughing. I can never think of a humorous comment, but just want you to know how much I appreciate the smiles.
    (And I love all the insightful comments your other readers make!) Have a good Sunday!

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    • Thanks… and I enjoy your beautiful weekend sunrises.

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  2. I love how you can make me snort coffee out of my nose at 6:00 on a Sunday morning! You’re such a wonderful start to my day!

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  3. Yet another reason I don’t do exercise videos when he’s home…

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    • Sometimes it’s a risk just to bend over to pick up your shoes.

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      • That’s just asking for trouble.

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  4. Love it! Your illustrations are priceless—and very true I am sure.

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  5. Ha! Oh yes. That’s great. Forget it when they start imagining Pilates classes…

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  6. Me like Zumba …
    Me think Zumba good ….
    Me crack up everytime Me read yo’ stuff.

    Here is my favorite for the week, you guy will love it, you will love it, and then again … Maybe you won’t? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHZbXvts0LE&feature=results_main&playnext=1&list=PL2D4231E223E52C38

    DS

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  7. He’s a keeper. Don’t let him get new glasses. I think it’s sweet that he sees you as wonderfully sexy. You probably are. Maybe you need new glasses!

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    • What a great way of looking at it! From now on, I’ll see myself through his eyes – one hot babe!

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  8. My favorite way to wake up on a Sunday – reading your posts! Thanks for the laugh!

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  9. Are there any men in that class? Maybe he is feeling protective of you.
    I admire you for doing the class-no matter how you look while doing so. I suppose the goal is to eventually look to yourself like he sees you……?

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    • My goal is to NOT look old. At 61, I need all the help I can get.

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  10. My crest has fallen, too.

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  11. Too funny!! I especially love the illustrations! Dance on…

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  12. The illustrations are great! I love how your husband sees you…perhaps that is the truth of it and the reason he wants to watch you in class. Thank you again for the smiles.

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    • It has occurred to me that he may want to check out the OTHER women in the class… that commercial may have raised his ‘expectations’.

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  13. rose

    Hahahah….thanks for the laugh on a Sunday morning:)

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  14. Adorable! Poor crestfallen guy. And, of course it was YOU he wanted to see! You know, there’s nothing stopping you from giving him a little private demonstration of your signature moves……. 😉

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    • My ‘moves’, to paraphrase Paul Simon, would never match his sweet imagination.

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  15. Your sketches seem to get better and better. You could write a book about your hubby. He sounds so innocent. Have you ever read Stuart McLean? (Home from the Vinyl Cafe; Vinyl Cafe Unplugged; Stories from the Vinyl Cafe)? The main character called Dave, makes me think of your husband. Deadringer.

    I don’t know if these are in US libraries. Stuart McLean is a Canadian storyteller. Very funny but so lovable. With your writing style, I think you would enjoy this writer immensely.

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    • I’ll look him up.
      As far as the illustrations – it’s very strange…I struggled at first because I couldn’t portray what I wanted to. But the more I do, the easier it gets. Now the drawings are as much fun for me as the writing.

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  16. Dor

    This is a funny, funny post! You are a funny funny writer. You make me laugh out loud. Thanks!:)

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  17. Nice that he sees you in the way he imagines himself – dontcha think??? You really are too funny!!! Thanks for the chuckle…

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  18. Absolutely adored this! Made me laugh, made me smile, just brilliant … your pics are fabulous – I ‘hope’ my husband sees me as yours does – because inside I’m like your first pic, but on the outside I look exactly like your second one

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  19. Haha, love the pictures!

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  20. LOL! Both you and hubby are cool. I do yoga though. Cheers!

    Eva

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  21. Love the illustrations!

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  22. I love your take on life! Fabulous. Your husband sounds like a sweet guy, lol.

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  23. ‘crestfallen’ – and his crest did noticeably fall. CRACKED me up!

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  24. Aw, they’re so cute when they’re crestfallen. I love your illustrations! :-)

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  25. My beloved husband told me the other day that I didn’t look a day older than when we first met (almost 30 years ago). Sadly, he then added that he didn’t think he did either. That’s him in a nutshell – just can’t quit while he’s ahead.

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  26. I love Zumba…unfortunately I have a polka body which is struggling to wiggle.

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  27. Great post – just rolling with laughter. And the illustrations are perfect.

    Like

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