Tag Archives: Humor
TMT = TMI
Too Much Togetherness = Too Much Information Several years ago, we built our dream home. Many people warned me that building a house is a dangerous test of a marriage. But to my delight (and surprise) my husband and I turned out to be terrific team. Together we bought a beautiful piece of property and …
Orphan Envy
When I was eight, I was in a play. The local Girl’s Club (like the “Y” without the yucky boys) offered afterschool classes, and I signed up for Drama. Good thing they didn’t call it Acting. I suck at Acting but Drama is my life. The drama class put on a play (I think the …
Gullible’s Travails
I am a marketer’s dream. Cream that evaporates my wrinkles. Absolutely. Conditioner that makes my hair thick. Yes, I believe. Teeth Whiteners, Lip Plumpers, Toe Straighteners (don’t ask; I need them), Nail Growers. Oh, please, let me try some. Here’s my money. And now I’ve hit the pinnacle. Or maybe not. Maybe there is even …
Drive-Thru Confessions
Guilt Relief In Thirty Seconds: 1. We have cats. Cats puke. Sometimes when I walk into a room and see that one of our cats has thrown up, I turn around and give my husband time to find it instead. 2. My toaster oven does not cook very evenly. When I make toast, one slice …
Just Browsing
No gray hair for me. I’ve taken care of that issue for years. I’m a nice golden brown color, and I’m staying that way for the next ten years at least. But what is up with my EYEBROWS? My eyebrows have always looked like this: They have an okay shape, as long as I do …
Size Creep
Two years ago I lost 12 lbs. The incentive was my 40th high school reunion. I was really skinny in high school, and although I will never be skinny again, I wanted to look young. Specifically, I wanted to looked younger than a few select classmates. Preferably, younger than all my classmates. I wasn’t exactly …
The Conspiracy
I have a theory for everything. Some of my theories are what my family calls “out there”, but I have one theory that has abundant evidence supporting it. I believe that when a boy reaches a certain age, (probably when he discovers his best friend/body part), his father sits him down for a serious and …
Ingredient List
My husband loves junk food. But he hates to spend money on junk food. So he buys the cheapest candy and cookies he can find. It’s my opinion (and therefore superior) that, if you are going to eat chocolate (or a cookie, or whatever) – if you are going to have all those empty calories, …
I’m Sticking With It
I’ve heard it said that when you find a style that suits you, you should stick with it. I’m not sure who said that – it was definitely not one of my mother’s pearls – but if I had to wager a guess, I’d say: Liza Minnelli Over the years I have developed a fondness …
notquiteold 