Nancy Roman

Ingredient List

A salt mill for sea salt.

Image via Wikipedia

My husband loves junk food.  But he hates to spend money on junk food.  So he buys the cheapest candy and cookies he can find.

It’s my opinion (and therefore superior) that, if you are going to eat chocolate (or a cookie, or whatever) – if you are going to have all those empty calories, they should be the most delicious calories you can find.  Nothing but Belgian truffles for me.

But my husband continues to bring home stuff he picked up at the dollar store – cookies that are made of who knows what. The ingredient list includes stuff that no one has ever heard of, and which I suspect are just made-up synonyms for plastic. And he eats it.

So the other day we stopped at the store for a couple of things, and I picked up a container of salt.  It was just generic salt.

My husband asked me to put it back.

He said, “I’m uncomfortable with no-name salt.  Let’s buy the name brand.”‘

So here is my question.  What did he think was in the SALT?

Did he suspect that they scraped it up from the side of the road at the end of winter?


  1. Great post, hilarious! Kind of like those people who order a double cheeseburger with bacon, a large side of fries and ~~ you guessed it ~~ a Diet Cola !! 🙂


  2. I think it can be summed up in one word… men. No telling what’s going on in their gorgeous heads!


  3. My husband is the same. We never ever go out to eat unless we have a 2 for 1 coupon!!!

    I love your writing by the way. Did you say you are a novelist? I’d love to read any book you wrote! Well, not if it was a chemistry book I guess. : )


    • Ditto on your writing. It’s a highlight of my day, reading something lovely written by you. It’s a treat.


    • Thank you for the compliment. Well, I was being kind to myself when I said “novelist”. I guess “would-be novelist” is more accurate. I have a finished manuscript that I have just started shopping out to agents.


  4. pharphelonus

    you have n Erma Bombeckian way of relating. For sure.


    • That’s high praise! Erma is one of my role models!


  5. why am I here in a handbasket?

    men. can’t live with them, can’t inject them with a hefty dose of insulin.


    • I’d like to try a little dose of sedative though.


  6. That’s so funny. Hilarious, actually!


  7. OMG, you are too funny! I will have to sub to this blog. Thanks for visiting mine, so I could discover yours!


  8. I completely agree about eating top-notch. My husband willingly eats mallo cups, which are clearly filled with glue.


    • O my god, Mallo cups… my husband eats them too!


  9. OMG…no words, yo…lol


  10. Funny. Mine has a similar inconsistency. He will eat Greek yogurt, fruit and vegetables all day, but then when no one is looking, he will polish off an entire pan of brownies.

    Q: Why did the man cross the road?
    A: Who knows why they do anything?


  11. a) I’m afraid I don’t know
    b) I will just have to agree ~~ do I at least get half-credit for that answer?

    Cute post!


  12. Great post…not sure why men do anything they do…it’s a mystery, for sure. But I do know why I’ll be back to read more of your blog…because it’s entertaining, informative and well written…three qualities I look for in blog posts. Thanks for visiting mine, too, by the way. Always love to have new people read my work. Best of luck in the future.


  13. This cracked me up! I’m with you all the way (what can I say? Superior minds think alike)!


  14. Hey I know exactly where you’re coming from – for me, it;s dark chocolate Toblerone or nothing!


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