notquiteold

Nancy Roman

There’s No Such Thing

A few days ago, I was waiting in line at the coffee shop. The guy in front of me was with his wife, and they were quietly standing there – just another anonymous couple.

Another man walked in, and gave the guy in front of me a tap on the sleeve.

“Hey, big guy!” he said. “I saw your car in the parking lot and had to stop.”

Guy #1 smiled and hugged Guy #2. “How you doing?” he said.

“I’m off to see my dad, so I’m gearing up to get yelled at,” Guy #2 said.

And Guy #1 laughed.

He laughed like it was an inside joke. He laughed like a friendship that lasts through time.

He laughed like the best music you have ever heard. One of those joyous, chuckling, laughs that bubbles up from the toes and gains momentum in the belly and sweetness on the heart. His laugh was magnificent.

I was suddenly envious of the young woman who was his wife. She gets to listen to that laugh every day. I’m sure it’s every day. Maybe every hour. Because he laughed like a happy soul.

About 35 years ago, I was single and hoping not to be.

A girlfriend set me up with one of her husband’s buddies. This guy – I’ll call him Eric because I honestly can’t remember his name – was a nice enough guy. Good looking enough (most people are). Kind of quiet. A guy who liked his job – and I liked that because people who like what they do are happier and nicer to be around. But I got the distinct impression that he had been pressured into asking me out. That someone was going to owe him big time for agreeing to this date.

Eric and I went out twice. It turns out that we didn’t have much in common. But I did rather hope that we could try just a little harder. Honestly, It wasn’t desperation… more of a hope that two nice people might find they liked each other more if they just worked at it.

About a month later, I had a bit of an argument with the girlfriend who fixed me up with Eric. And my friend – as a parting shot – said to me, “Eric told me that he could never warm up to you, because your stupid laugh was so irritating.”

God, that hurt. To think that something that was such an integral part of you – and something that you never even think about – it’s a natural as breathing – was terrible.

I’m a happy person. I laugh a lot. I felt bad for a long time my joy was so offensive.

But 35 years have gone by.

And I haved learned – many times over – that Eric was wrong.

THERE IS NOT SUCH THING AS A BAD LAUGH.

All laughs are magnificent.

Snorts.
Chuckles.
Howls.
Giggles.
Shrieks.
Roars.
Titters.
Guffaws.
Snickers.
Whoops.

Why would you disparage an expression of delight?

The next time you are in the coffee shop – or at work, or in a parking lot, or even at church – and you hear someone laugh –

REVEL in it!

You are so lucky! You have been given a marvelous gift. You may not even know the person who has given you this gift.

But how can you be luckier than to be given a share of someone’s joy?

PS – Eric: You missed out on the great gift of my laugh. ย But I hope you found someone whose laugh you enjoy. It is so worth it.

 

 

 

 

 

49 Comments

  1. Laughter is good medicine, as they say. โค
    Diana xo

    Like

    • It is!

      Liked by 1 person

    • Sally Habib

      I am at the “what’s it all about Alphie ?” Part of my life
      where frankly things are not so funny … Longtime friends
      are dying … First kiss … The love of your life the one
      who you married someone else so not to end
      up in the looney bin … Three Prodigals … 50% of my kids
      are unable to live a normal life … I have g’kids I no longer
      get to see … My body once my friend is now
      my mortal enemy … So trust if I hear anyone chuckling snorting
      milk pouring out their nose laughing hysterically … I feel
      profoundly blessed !

      Liked by 1 person

      • I was afraid that you were going to say – at such a difficult time in your life – that it is hard to hear others laugh. But I am so glad that you are comforted by it instead.

        Like

  2. This made my day! Thanks!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. My husband’s laugh was the very first thing I noticed about him so much that it stuck with me after our first chance encounter. Love to hear it now too – 24 years later ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

  4. A ‘friend’ once told me I laughed ‘too loud’. I tried (for YEARS) to contain myself and laugh ‘quietly’. It never really worked and I finally got over being hurt by her comment (our friendship ended not long after she made it). Now I laugh whenever the mood strikes and I don’t worry about what other people think – if I’m happy, I’m going to show it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I hope you laugh really loud all the time!

      Like

  5. Wendy Karasin

    I couldn’t agree more. I have a loud, deep belly laugh that makes most people want to laugh just hearing it. But there are those who would prefer a quieter, more demure laugh. I love my laugh, it is so distinctive that my mother used to say: ‘If I were in China, in a crowd of a million people, I’d know you by your laugh.’ I couldn’t think of a lovelier attribute to be known for!

    Liked by 2 people

    • That is a good reputation to have!

      Like

  6. Reblogged this on World4Justice : NOW! Lobby Forum..

    Like

  7. The great thing about laughter is that it’s contagious. When someone is laughing, you start to smile. The smile gets bigger and before you know it, you are laughing and you have no idea why. I love that. I also have a friend who laughs too loud. I manage it by trying not to be in a car with her when a hilarious story is told. In a couple of years, I will probably just turn down my hearing aids! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • I love watching a laugh contagion take place…. it just spreads and gets sillier and more wonderful!

      Liked by 2 people

  8. My morher often told that as a young girl she got always the scolding- in dormitories at sleeping time- for her loud and irrestisible laughter- and I inherited that from her. Not the scolding- but the irresistible joyous laughter… however did you find that video?

    Like

    • There are so many videos it was hard to choose just one! Go on youtube and search for “laugh complilations”

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I got scolded for laughing at the movies. We were watching Spaceballs dubbed in French, but I knew what they were saying in English so I was cracking up whereas the French around me did NOT get the jokes.

    Like

    • I love to go to a movie where the whole audience is laughing together… what a fellowship you feel. However, laughing all by yourself is pretty good too!

      Liked by 2 people

  10. Mr. Big has a wonderful laugh – one of my favourite things about him!! The best laughs are the unusual ones – because then they’re contagious and make you laugh, too!

    Like

    • Good for you! My husband is a very serious guy, so when I can make him laugh, I’m thrilled!

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Donna Walsh

    I love to hear people laugh. I pause and listen because it makes me feel good inside. Nancy, you have a beautiful laugh; I’ve heard it many times over the years we worked together. Your face is very expressive when you laugh and your eyes sparkle. Have you ever considered contacting your local newspaper(s) about writing a weekly column? You’ve got what it takes!

    Liked by 1 person

    • That is a great idea… I’m going to pursue it. Our local is a weekly, and they might be interested… maybe even if I do just one a month. I could pick the best blog I wrote that month and share it in the press!

      Liked by 1 person

  12. This reminds me of a blog I once posted, I think I called it “I Love To Laugh”, anyway I included the song from Mary Poppins. I always laughed when ever I heard it. Your video had me laughing until it hurt. In a good way.

    Like

    • I love to laugh – and I love to make someone else laugh!

      Liked by 1 person

  13. uju

    You forgot the cackles ๐Ÿ˜€

    I find some laughs quite annoying, but your post gives me a fresh perspective. So thanks ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    • Ooooh, Cackles is a GOOD ONE! Nothing wrong with a crazy cackle!

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Ray G

    Already familiar with how you laugh, I must say that Eric was a putz. However, I would never be able to remain near anyone who laughed like the Wicked Witch of the West.

    Like

    • maybe a good cackle would be okay once in a while.

      Like

  15. I agree with every word! I agree that no laugh is bad. I agree that Eric missed out on a great person and I agree that it must hurt to be told off for something so natural and so heart felt. People who cannot appreciate a good laugh are weird…or…troubled! Either ways, it is not good. I am sorry you had to go through this but I am glad you didn’t end up with stupid Eric!

    Like

    • Thanks. Yes, I am also glad that I didn’t end up with stupid Eric.

      Like

  16. Aw, how thoughtless of your “friend” to tell you that….. My hubby doesn’t laugh a lot – he does smile quite often. But when he laughs at something I say, I know it’s truly funny.

    Like

    • Our husbands are so alike. One day, I heard my husband laughing hysterically in the den, and I just had to find out what made him laugh like that – it was some guys on TV who drove a golf cart into a pond. I guess I need to do that more often.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Sounds like you had the last laugh with that Eric and “good friend” situation.

    Like

    • Yes, neither are around any more – and I am better for it.

      Like

  18. jono51

    I agree. There is no such thing. I can make a laugh sound stupid, but it is so funny that everyone else will start laughing, too. Laughter is much more contagious than any disease could ever hope to be. Eric missed out. If I make someone laugh my whole day is brightened.

    Like

    • Laughter is blessedly contagious!

      Like

  19. I love to laugh, it feels good, Eric lost out but such is life, the laughter of young children is amazing

    Like

    • I love the bubbly chuckles that come out of a baby!

      Like

  20. My husband has the greatest laugh ever. You can hear him across the room, feel the genuine mirth in his appreciation of everything. I envy him. I laugh too, but it’s not nearly as distinctive or as appealing.

    Like

    • How lucky you are to hear that so often!

      Like

  21. Pam

    The laughing babies win hands down! Nancy, I’m so glad that you didn’t get stuck with a guy who couldn’t appreciate your laugh. That would have crushed me, too!

    Like

    • Oh, laughing babies are just the best!

      Like

  22. Mary P

    . I love to laugh – and I love to make someone else laugh!

    Like

  23. I love to laugh too, and you’re right that was a hurtful thing to say/hear.

    And thank you for offering me the opportunity to hear this guy again:

    Liked by 1 person

    • He’s got an outstanding laugh! And he’s right too!

      Liked by 1 person

  24. That is such a cruel thing to say to anyone – no one can help the way they laugh, to call them out for it cuts to the quick.
    Recently I spent time with my five (nearly six) year old grandson. Something silly happened, we caught one anothers’ eyes and both burst out laughing… we laughed and laughed, and when we finally stopped and had caught our breath, he turned to me and said ‘ Grandjo, laughing is very important for our health’, I said ‘yes’, he continued ‘its very good for the vocal cords, and you know its an involuntary response’ – I was startled at all this info from a five year old and asked how he knew that, ‘oh I read it somewhere’ he replied!! at which point I started laughing all over again.

    Like

  25. I agree. Every laugh is worth it and beautiful. I have been made fun of because of the way I laugh. So I can relate to you on this one. Every time I laugh the people in my class laugh with me because they find my laughter to be funny. And I am just happy that I can make people laugh at least through the most beautiful way of expressing yourself ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: