notquiteold

Nancy Roman

Another Amazing Day

I am trying very hard not to freak out (at best) or have a total mental collapse (at worst) over the state of our country. I worry. I want everything to work out. I feel powerless.

I do a little in the political realm, but not much. Because I fear an impending total mental collapse – on either my part (at best) or on the part of someone much much more important (at worst).

I donate to causes I believe in. I support others in their much braver efforts.

But I’m not brave. The author Wally Lamb just posted a short essay on Facebook where he argues with himself about voicing his political opinions. He feels he needs to say something, do something, stand up for what he believes in. But his lesser self knows that it could cost him. People may not buy his books. He could lose his audience. But he cares about the country. He wants to do the right thing. He won’t stay quiet if he needs to speak out.

And I’m not even that brave. I’m not sure if I have more at stake or less. A struggling writer like me needs every single book sale. I can’t afford to offend anyone. On the other hand, what do I really have to lose? I’m not making money writing anyway (although I hope to).

But I do love you guys who read my blog. I don’t want you to go away.

But I have noticed the strangest, most amazing thing.

Because I am not brave, and because I am freaking out, I have tried to calm myself by writing little posts about nice things. Reminding myself of the many little happinesses that I experience every day. I make myself notice them. How can I not feel better when I have a perfect cup of coffee or my own washing machine?

And here is the amazing part. In trying to make myself feel better, I think I may be making you feel better too. Because I have seen a significant increase in subscribers to my blog since November – the likes of which I haven’t seen in quite a while.

Perhaps you too are looking for some small things to feel happy about?

So anyway. Until I am blessed with a stroke of bravery, I am concentrating on the simple joys of everyday life.

Here’s today:

It was 57 degrees (Farenheit, for those of you not in the US) – amazingly warm for Connecticut. How nice is that, after I’ve been walking the dog on 9 degree mornings?

So we took our walk – Theo and I. And it was Muddy. With a capital M. Oh what a mess! And what heaven for the pup. There was not a mud puddle he didn’t stomp in. It was so much fun and so awful at the same time. When we returned, I marched him right into the shower. Our guest bedroom has a handicapped-accessible shower, so it was easy to get him in. Also easy for him to jump out. Did I mention that I cleaned that shower and the floor and the walls just yesterday? But what the hell… mopping up is not that hard. And Theo even submitted to the blow dryer (for a few minutes anyway), so he didn’t get on the sofa soaking wet. And he smells good.

theostick

Theo. Sometimes he gets stuff stuck on him. But he doesn’t seem to mind.

Then (after I cleaned up my own wet-doggy smell) I had lunch with my mother. This is always the highlight of my week. My mom – who I write about constantly – is 93, and I love her more than anyone in the world. She’s so smart and so funny. The garbage man got out of his truck the other day to pick up her newspaper for her, and she said to me, “How nice was that! But how bad must I look?”

And Mom gave me mints and Hershey kisses for my purse. She always does. Because she loves me.

Then I went to the makeup store and picked up my eyeliner. I love my liner, but it’s one of those automatic pencil types. Not the sharpen-and-watch-it-get-smaller type. So you never really know when you will run out. And that would be bad. I thought I might be in the danger zone, so I picked up another. And the facial cleanser I like was on sale. Buy one, get one half off. So now I have one for the sink and one for the shower. I don’t have to carry the tube all the way across the bathroom anymore! How great is that?

I came home to a happy nice-smelling doggie, and got myself ready for Zumba.I wore my favorite outfit. Tight gray leggings and a swingy long top with an elephant design on the front. I can really Zumba when I am wearing something pretty.

And guess who was at Zumba? One of my favorite ladies, although I don’t even know her name. She comes once in a while and dances in the back of the room.She’s fabulous. She dances faster than the beat with enormous leaping energy and big, big steps… most of which she makes up herself. The look on her face is always that of Pure Joy. I see her behind me in the mirror – dancing a completely different dance than the other people in the room – and the happiest person there. I can’t stop smiling while I dance the teacher’s version.

And then, on the way home – a minor miracle. I have an old car that I love. It’s a BMW X5 SUV -(I really miss cars with names though, don’t you? Impala. Mustang. Even Beetle. They told you what they were by their names.  But X5 – What the heck is that?) Well, it takes driving one to know, but what the X5 is – is a sweetheart with power. Now it’s a 2001 with 185,000 miles, so it has its quirks and we’ve had to sink a sizable wad into it recently. But I love it. And the seat heaters still work – which is like my car loves me and wants me to have a nice warm ass. But anyway, here’s my miracle – minor though it may be. There were a few sporadic raindrops coming down when I left Zumba. The delay action on the windshield wipers is also sporadic. Meaning, mostly it doesn’t work. But the wipers did work tonight. A swipe, a delay, a swipe. Okay cool. Then I hit the highway and the rain suddenly picked up, or rather, picked down. It started to rain really hard. And my wipers stepped up to the plate. Automatically, they just started going, swipe, swipe, swipe. The rain sensor on my old car hasn’t worked in maybe six years. And tonight, it worked.

My wipers were sort of like Helen Keller in “The Miracle Worker” – They remembered water. They remembered what to do! “Wah-Wah” my wipers said.

I may not be brave. I may not be the best Zumba dancer.

But I am the Annie Sullivan of car windshield wipers!

 

 

60 Comments

  1. Reblogged this on ugiridharaprasad.

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  2. Very often it is the little things in life that get us through. I’m counting all the little blessings I can this year. They’re what is going to make this a fabulous year.

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  3. There is a lot of happy out there. We just need to remember to open our eyes and our hearts.

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    • My dog loves me. No politician can take that away. (I think.)

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  4. I completely relate to your internal debate on politics- I’ve been struggling with that dilemma myself;step up and become more of an advocate, or keep my blog a place where people can escape and find something to smile about instead. Great post, I needed the reminder to revel in small joys.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I don’t want to let anyone ruin my day. No one is allowed to have that much power over me.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I think a lot of people are feeling nervous about the future. I try hard not to worry about things that haven’t happened. Thank God I don’t have a crystal ball.

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    • I know what you mean by not wanting a crystal ball. But I do wish I knew how to protect my retirement income…. do I leave it in investments? Do I put in my mattress?

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  6. I’m feeling the same way about Brexit over here. The only thing we have is hope that everything will turn out well, and do something about it when it doesn’t.

    Absolutely love your dog – I follow his Instagram haha!

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    • My dog is a character! Becoming a dog family was the best decision I have made in a decade! Maybe ever…

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  7. Just love your stories Nancy! As you said, we need to dwell on the blessings and little joys in our life. Politics, and our country, have come through many tough times and we still persevere. I don’t let myself read news on the internet, just scan by, and look for the joyful posts on Facebook. I only watch the local news now, staying away from binging on Fox & CNN. I love life, my family and my friends and look for the good in all people I encounter. And I love my God with all my heart. So I let GO and let GOD. My mantra. Keep up the wonderful writing you do, YOU are a blessing to all of your followers.

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    • Thanks Doris… I am doing the same thing on the other side of the spectrum. I have greatly reduced my MSNBC viewing. I just can’t let myself be mad all the time.

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  8. Roxanne

    Nancy, I’ll never “go away”. I’ve always enjoyed your writing, and ever since I learned that you feel the same way I do about the election outcome and fear for our country’s future, I feel even a greater connection to you and thousands of women who have revealed the same. Finding joy and happiness in the simplest ways, and feeling grateful for everything I have every day helps me cope with the darkness that looms. Thank you so much!

    Liked by 1 person

    • We will all stick together. I’m not brave, but there is strength in knowing you are not alone. Just for one example – if there is ever a Muslim registry in this country, I have decided to register – and I hope many people do too – Catholics like myself, and Jews, and atheists – all of us.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I always read your blog first when I see it’s in the list of updates ones, it’s one of my favourites! (I follow Theo’s instagram too, ughhh this makes me sound like a stalker. Sorry) And I didn’t even know windshield wipers had sensors! I would have loved that when I had a car. Happy indeed!

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    • You are not a stalker! You are one of my favorites too! (even though we spell it differently!)

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  10. Elizabeth

    Nancy, I’m so anxious about the next 4 years too! I can’t sleep. I don’t remember how I found you. It seems you showed up on one of my “sites”, I read your story and BOOM! I was hooked. My dogs are my source of happiness now that my grown children are gone and my husband is at work. They are so funny and intuitive. Thank you for your funny posts and a lot of the time, seeming to be in my house spying on me! 🙂

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    • I am finding that lots of us seem to be sharing the same life. It’s a good life, so we are lucky.

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  11. jono51

    The future is always scary, but spelling Celsius is easier than Fahrenheit. At least to me. We have warmed up to -10 Fahrenheit (-23 Celsius) this morning. How awesome is that!

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    • -10 is awesome, all right. I hope you stay warm!

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  12. Like you, I’m hanging on to the little joys and miracles that come. Because otherwise, I’d hole up in a bunker somewhere and wait for the end of the world.

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    • I’ve thought about a bunker…. but it looks a lot like a cottage at the beach.

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  13. we can use you a lot in these next years. How many times a day can you post?

    (I don’t think Wally Lamb has anything to worry about. His writing is so beautiful and so full of compassion that the crowd in power wouldn’t read his books anyway. That is if they EVER read. I mean, why put yourself in someone else’s shoes?) Oops. Sorry. I’m like a boomerang.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Wally is from Connecticut, like me. He’s a very approachable guy, who works really hard and believes in helping people. For years, he has taught writing at the women’s prison.

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      • And like me! I didn’t know he was from CT, though! How cool that he teaches at the women’s prison. I love his writing.

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        • He’s from Norwich. I saw him speak once… I think he said it took him about 9 years to write his first book, because between his job and his family, all he had was Saturday mornings. He’d go to the library for quiet and write for a few hours.

          Liked by 1 person

  14. It is often the little things that make our days, that make us smile and feel good, I don’t see the point in worrying or stressing out over things I have no control over

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    • It’s a balancing act sometimes, when the things we can’t control seem to be so threatening. But I keep concentrating on little things. Right now, I am thinking about popcorn.

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  15. Don’t worry, Doll. Your readers will stay with you, no matter what. But I agree that writing about nice experiences makes me feel better than writing about what’s worrying me. Does that mean my head’s in the sand? Well, if it does, here’s to sand. And happy times (!)

    Liked by 1 person

    • I don’t want to keep my head in the sand. But I don’t want to be constantly stressed either. My father told me when I was 18 that you can’t change the world if everything makes you cry.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Wow. That’s really something. Your dad sounds great. xoxo

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  16. You have a wonderful garden of followers. I have been writing for 4 years and don’t have nearly the garden that you do. But we have earned every reader, because we have always been ourselves. Insecure, brave, flighty, depressed — it’s what keeps us going. What makes writing and sharing so worth it. I’ll always follow you, my friend! No matter what the tides may bring.

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    • Thank you Claudia… it is so sweet to hear. I write because I love it, and maybe that comes through. Did you know I have a sister named Claudia? I love that name!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Then I am double lucky! I, too, think its important to speak our hearts.

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  17. Pam

    Nancy, I’m not brave, either. And I share your concern for our country. If you ever want to get brave and let some political steam out, I will be here to listen, join in, and support you. From everything I’ve learned about you, I KNOW that we share similar political views. I also fear the impending meltdowns you mentioned. It is disturbing to me that our country has a person who is acting like an unstable autocrat at the helm, and I feel I need to keep my head out of the sand so that I stay aware of what is happening……….and do what, I don’t know. I will not be watching the inauguration, as I can’t stand the sight or sound of him and watching him bask in narcissistic glory would put me over the edge. I’d rather be cleaning my bathrooms.

    In the meantime, I will count life’s small blessings and keep an attitude of gratitude along with you and your followers. Your writing always cheers me up!

    I really like your idea of signing the Muslim registry!

    I will have to check out Wally Lamb’s essay.

    Theo is adorable.

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    • Thanks… I think a lot of us are growing more and more fearful. I don’t want to withdraw from the world, but for a few moments at a time, perhaps it is necessary, in order to keep it together. That’s why I look for the little joys.

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  18. I love this post!! Also…I have a goldendoodle who looks a lot like Theo who comes inside most days with a branch, leaf, even one time a cricket – stuck in her forehead. Ah, these dogs!

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    • Theo hasn’t come in with a cricket (yet)! And lots of people think he is a labradoodle or goldendoodle puppy. He’s smaller than the doodles, but the look is definitely similar.

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  19. I definitely wanted to look at the positive side of things. It’s not about wearing rose coloured spectacles but finding the good points when things aren’t going so well. Sometimes it’s harder than others.

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    • It is very hard sometimes – but we have to keep going. Don’t give up and don’t accept – just stay optimistic and enjoy what you can.

      Liked by 1 person

  20. No matter how scary the future is, there are so many little things to be happy about. Thanks for the reminder.

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    • The bigger the problems, the smaller we need to go to find little joys. Savor that piece of chocolate and that smile from a stranger.

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  21. I am happy to know that I am miserable and worried with lots of other Americans. I am so made at those who stayed home because of the emails, or Bernie lovers, or Hillary haters. I am African American and old enough T remember what it was like in the days of legal segregation and legal discrimination. I worked at the polls all day as an election judge and watched my “middle class, educated dedicated” GOP neighbors vote for trump. I was physically ill when we tallied our voting machines and so the overwhelming support for trump, did I mention I live in Missouri. I thought of running away but where could go? I am from Kansas and they went for trump. OMG. I went to bed that night, got up that morning saw the results and went back to bed. I was hoping it was nightmare and I would wake up. The only thing good that has happened, is I am writing my legacy essays on WordPress for my two grandsons. I am praying and writing and volunteering to make my community understand we need each other regardless of race, religion or ethnicities. I am scared but I have faith too. Your essay makes me feel better because we are not alone. You can follow my writings on WordPress under “life experience teacher” and hopefully we can help each other survive this mess we are in. I am the wife of a retired military serviceman and that makes me even more afraid knowing what it means to have this man as our commander in chief. God help us all. Lizzy

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    • i cried on election night and all the next day. I don’t want Hate and Fear and Meanness to represent what this country is about. Take care and keep trying. I am not brave – I have never been brave – but I will do what I can. And I’ll keep posting about the small joys that keep us from falling apart. Thank you for your thoughtful comments.

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  22. Beautifully written post, I can definitely relate to this a lot of the time! Just goes to show that the small things in life count just as much as the bigger ones.

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    • Sometimes the small things are all we have.And if we are very lucky, they are enough.

      Liked by 1 person

  23. I, too, have noticed a huge number of new followers to my blog in the past couple of weeks, too? What’s going on??!! And although some of them aren’t legit, I think most of them are. So glad that you are writing about happy things. Inquiring minds want to know: what brand eyeliner do you use?
    PS Always love reading about your Mom.

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    • It’s funny Dianna… I am actually thinking about starting another blog – makeup and other beauty products for mature women. It would be such a good rationale for the crazy amount of stuff I buy. (and I use “It” brand No-Tug waterproof gel liner in black brown. Stays all day.

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      • I’m not familiar with that brand, but I will definitely be in search of it. Thanks! And I would love it if you wrote a blog about makeup and beauty products. Your mom could be an adviser! I remember you mentioning how she still loves her make-up!

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  24. Omg great post.
    Your dog is Just Like Mine!!!!

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    • I just checked your blog… your dog DOES look like mine… cute as can be. Is he also a lagotto romagnolo?

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  25. I started the same thing last fall and announced my change of direction in this post: https://babyboomersandmore.com/2016/09/12/time-for-an-about-face/ I haven’t regretted it for a minute. I like providing balance in the midst of the sh*t out there. It’s my way of sprucing up my little corner of the universe.

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    • I have always tried to be positive in my blog, and especially tried to give someone a reason to laugh. But I felt so disheartened recently I almost gave up. But I am staying (or trying to stay) optimistic by concentrating on every nice thing. There’s enough scary shit out there.

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  26. Great idea to stay positive. Most things we fear never come to pass anyway, so why waste the energy worrying? At least that’s the talk I have to have with myself practically every, single day. 🙂

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  27. I love your positivity and the photo of your dog with the stick in the hair. My dog brings such joy to my heart and seeing that photo made me smile. I find animals to be such wonderful beings, there to love us unconditionally and be our best friends 🙂
    https://mywavesofhealing.com/blog/

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    • Taking home that dog is the single best decision I have made in decades. I love him so much, my heart aches.

      Liked by 1 person

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