notquiteold

Nancy Roman

Cats and Dogs

When I was a little girl, I believed – for much longer than I should admit – that all dogs were boys and all cats were girls.

I believed this despite the fact that when I was about five I had a dog named Daisy. But I never for one minute believed that Daisy was a girl.

(I didn’t believe that Lassie was a girl either, even though Timmy would cry, “Go get help, Girl!” And it turned out I was right.)

I had strong reasons why I thought all dogs were boys:  They were rambunctious, loud and smelly.

I rest my case.

Cats, on the other hand, were graceful and delicate. I think I was twelve before I realized that the word Feline was not a synonym for Feminine.

When I finally understood that there were actually girl dogs and boy cats, I was quite embarrassed.

But now that I think about it, I had no reason to be ashamed of my mistake. It’s actually perfectly reasonable to associate dogs with boys and cats with girls.

First there’s the way they play.

Dogs will chase a ball  or a stick – over and over and over and over. They are never bored. There’s a mindless joy to their repetition. Sort of like Baseball. And whatever toy they have, you can be certain they will completely destroy it in no time at all. I had a cat however, who always took her toy to bed and cuddled with it. (I admit this may have had something to do with catnip.)

Then there’s the loudness – which I have already mentioned. I’m not saying women are less talkative than men. I am saying there is an astounding volume to boys. Especially when they are in a group.

And speaking of groups, men are much more comfortable in packs. Of course, they call them teams. But it’s really the same thing. Women need their alone time. So do cats. Cat-related alone time is usually about 19 hours a day.

Let’s compare Patience. Dogs are not patient. They will knock you over to get to the door first. Eat like the food bowl may explode in five seconds. And, rather sweetly, will greet you like you have been away for 3 weeks, not three hours.

And they hunt the same way. They charge after their prey, yelping and jumping and completely crazed. When a dog is successful with his hunt, it is mainly due to power, enthusiasm (and sheer luck). I have yet to see a dog sneak up on something. A cat gets her prey due to patience and strategy. I’ve seen my cat sit by a stack of boxes in the cellar for twelve hours.

Peeing. I learned very early on from my cousins that when a boy feels the need to pee, he just whips it out and pees. In the middle of a dodge ball game, and Johnny has to go…. Well, right over there by the bushes, Johnny. No need to even call a Time-out. Us girls need a bit more privacy. Cats too. They have their personal box and if you walk in on them during their nature call, they are not happy, and will usually walk away and come back another time. And they don’t need to pee constantly. I had a dog, Sarge, for seventeen years. Walking him a quarter of a mile meant stopping every seven feet to pee. Five minutes of walking and twenty-five minutes of peeing. Dogs love to pee. Boys think it is pretty special too.

And finally, while we are down in the nether regions, there’s grooming. Cats love to be clean. They bathe and bathe. They wash their little faces and their little ears and their little tails and their little paws.

Dogs? Only interested in their genitals.

I rest my case.

 

dog v cat

 

34 Comments

  1. Hahaha

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  2. I cannot believe this: I also remember believing that all dogs were male, and all cats female….that is so odd to read that someone else thought so, too. Wonder if it’s more common than I thought!

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    • I thought I was the only one!

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      • No, me too! You have just shattered my entire world view.

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  3. I’ve had cats and I’ve had dogs. Now I only have cats. I think you make a reasonable argument, and I, too, rest your case.

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  4. Nancy, this should help you. In French, a dog is LE chien (masc) and a cat is LA chatte (fem). So you were right all along!

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    • i wish it were true, because it makes so much sense to me (and of course because it makes me right!), but although la chatte is sometimes used when someone is speaking about a female cat, le chat is more generally accepted. So both cat and dog are usually masculine in French.

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  5. mo

    You make me laugh!

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    • Thanks! I love more than anything to make someone laugh!

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  6. Interesting post and concept.
    I’m a doggy person rather than cats, but all of my canines kept themselves clean especially my bitches. Do agree with male dogs being more interested in their genitalia as a rule, though we had one that would ‘wash’ his face like a cat.
    I heard of one gentleman who became very anxious because his dog had a series of lumps on its tummy. Turned out he had a bitch having been used to dogs, and didn’t realise they were her teats.

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    • Sometimes when you are exposed to only one aspect of something, you forget about logic. I had a friend who always has female dogs. She once picked up my male cat and exclaimed, “Merlin has tits!” I asked her whether her husband also had little tits… and she was astonished at her own naivete.

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      • sometimes things said are just so funny, made even funnier when the speaker doesn’t exactly realise how things can be interpretted!

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  7. You have made a believer out of me. Your presentation of the habits of dogs and cats is flawless and can only mean that somehow the world has gotten it wrong. There has to be some weird vortex thing to account for female dogs and male cats.

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    • I think perhaps there are female dogs and male cats for reproductive purposes only. Way down deep, they are all boy dogs and girl cats.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. June

    Thank you for making my morning! I could hardly read for laughing and nodding my head up and down in agreement. The thought of gender confusion in cats and dogs just added to my day!!!

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    • My male cat raised the kitten I brought home. He was Mommy, and it was a role he was created for.

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  9. It all makes sense to me. 😀 😛 😛

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    • And my brother-in-laws two female golden retrievers are the goofiest boys I ever saw.

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  10. This makes absolute sense. It’s so obvious, I don’t know why I didn’t see it before (or why someone else hasn’t written extensively about it). You are totally right. (I am, and always have been, a cat person).

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    • I like dogs. But I love cats. Cats are like me. Smart, self-aware and self-absorbed. No sense of humor though. But we smell good. My brother-in-laws golden retrievers smell like wet dog even when they aren’t wet.

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      • I know some men that smell like wet dog most of the time. 😦

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  11. I’ve always thought the same thing. Then again, I’ve always had male dogs and female cats (including the one we convinced my mother was actually male), so I’m not sure I’m a good test case.

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    • I’ve technically had both sexes of both animals. But down deep, dogs are girls, and cats are boys. I had a cat years ago whose previous owners thought he was a female, and named him Althea. When we took him in, we changed his name to Theo. But we easily could have kept it Althea. He was a romantic fool.

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  12. This is so true! I wish I could have cats but I am highly allergic – at the very least my next dog will be a girl, maybe I’ll name her Kitty and pray she has feline tendencies!!

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    • I think Kitty would be a fantastic dog name. I always wanted to name a cat Rover.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Ha! I love it! Your logic is impeccable. 🙂

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  14. Great post! Love your comparisons. Never thought about it myself, but your reasoning sure makes sense. 🙂

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  15. Hello, just to add a comment about the “la chatte”, It is indeed only for female cats 🙂 but It is also the slang word for the women’s sex, like “pussy” in English. So there might be some truth in your Story!

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  16. Your comparisons are great!. It’s funny. Growing up I always had boy cats and girl dogs. Even as an adult, all my kitties have been males. I’m much happier sharing my home with a cat than a dog.

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