Cry Me A River
I was about ten when I discovered my forever idol.
From that first discovery until today, Audrey embodies everything I ever wanted to be like.
Graceful, elegant, kind.
But especially everything I wanted to look like.
The gorgeous doe eyes, strong brows, expressive mouth with the most perfect lips. And the bone structure, the long neck, the perfect posture, the charming flat-footed stance.
And I am so close to being just like her, except for small eyes, a round face, weird eyebrows, tiny lips (‘tiny’ meaning ‘none’), a short neck, a curved spine, and thick ankles.
Oh wait… a flat chest. I have that! Audrey and I are practically twins!
But I noticed something intriguing when watching Audrey Hepburn movies. (Almost any movie back then really – but Audrey was the BEST).
It was crying.
How come all the women in movies look so pretty when they cry?
Do you know anyone who looks like that when they cry????
Well. I decided at ten I was going to be a pretty crier.
And I practiced.
I watched myself in the mirror when I cried… trying to emulate Audrey’s sad eyes, trembling but still lovely mouth, and that single tear dropping perfectly down her cheek.
I was not successful.
Christ, I was not even successful at getting the snot to stop pouring out of my nose. Why did Audrey never even have a drip? Cry me a river? Out of my nose, maybe.
But I continued to practice. Although I was famous in my family for Big Drama, I could not cry on cue. But I still got to practice a lot, because my sisters were awfully good at getting me to cry on cue.
and I’d run to the bathroom and check myself out in the mirror.
Not quite Audrey.
I don’t cry much as an adult.
And that’s a good thing.
Not only because I have a happy life and don’t have many occasions that bring me to tears.
But also because I never got the hang of Audrey’s lovely tears.
And I wear way too much makeup.