Nancy Roman

Happy Mother’s Day (Once Removed)

I’ve long had bittersweet feelings for Mother’s Day.

On one hand, my mother is my favorite person in the whole world. (Sorry, Hubby, but it’s true.)

But the biggest regret of my life is that I never had children. I married late in life and it just never happened. For many years I thought my heart would break. But it didn’t break completely. And as the years went by, a kind of contentment filled that empty space. No one gets everything she wants in life. And I have so many wonderful gifts.

And I also filled that empty space with someone else to love. Children of the furry kind.

Since I met my husband we’ve had a batch of kitties.  Multiples at one time. Three right now.

And they are sweet and funny and loving. And I don’t have to sacrifice my wardrobe budget for a college fund.


The kitties ALL prefer my husband.

I want to feel motherly towards them. I really do. But they don’t see me as Mommy.

They have Mr. Mom.

And I see that I may not have quite the maternal instinct I thought I had. Because my husband’s maternal instinct is so much stronger

This Mother’s Day was no exception.

In the morning we took our usual Sunday walk around the yard, checking all the flower beds while we had our second cup of coffee. Our two oldest cats came with us.

Stewart, our big male, is quite a coward, and after five minutes he went to the kitchen door, and we let him back in the house. He was late for a nap.

That left our old girl, Snickers. She’s about 15, but under 6 lbs. She’s a tiny but fearless thing. She followed us around the yard for just a few minutes, and then took off for her own exploration.

My husband went into a panic. “Oh no! She’s run away!  She’ll be killed by a coyote! She’ll get lost! I can’t bear to lose her this way!”

And one half hour later, she came trotting up the driveway and came in.

Later in the afternoon, after all our Sunday chores were done, we took our showers and got ready to visit my mother.

I was reading a book, waiting for my husband to take his shower. And he finally came down (he takes as long in the shower as I do) and he said, “Where’s Lillian?” (that’s the youngest cat)

“I don’t know,” I mumbled, not looking up from my book.

And Hubby went berserk.

“I can’t understand why you don’t even give a damn about the cats!” he hollered. “You didn’t even look for Lillian!”

“I didn’t know she was missing,” I replied calmly.

“Well, I don’t see her and you know she was despondent!”

Yeah, that’s the word he used. Despondent.

Here’s the story. Lillian is not only a little fat. She is obese. And we are worried about her health. So on Monday we tried a new healthier, low-calorie cat food. And Lillian went under the bed and sulked. And the next day my husband relented and gave Lillian her favorite Meow Mix, which I think is the Froot Loops of the feline junk food world.

That’s it.

I am a bad mother. I didn’t even realize she was despondent.

And by the way, she was sleeping in the sunshine by the French doors.

Happy Mother’s Day to my husband – mother to Snickers, Stewart and Lillian.

Hubby/Mommy with all three.









  1. I’d start saving now for feline therapy. Their mom seems a bit over-protective.


  2. HA!

    We have one formerly obese cat that we trimmed down just by taking her off of self-feed and limiting her rations. She has lost about 1/3 of her body weight and finally looks more like a cat and less like an ottoman.


    • Brilliant description!


    • I agree – brilliant description! Lillian does look like an ottoman – or a.giant loaf of pumpernickel.


  3. Funny post! My ex has always been that way about cats – overprotective and worries constantly. Sweet that you wish your hubby a Happy Mother’s Day. I know you enjoyed time spent with your mom!


    • Mom had a good Mother’s Day. I bought her the blush she wanted. THAT’S the kind of ninety I want to be!


      • You know it!! Good for her!


  4. Very dear. Thanks for the post.


  5. So funny! Happy Mother’s Day to both you and your hubby for you are both wonderful “Pawrents.” 🙂


    • Thanks. I think just my husband is the pawrent. I am an occasional can opener.


  6. Funny. Our cats always homed in on my dad rather than my mum too, it seemed the less interest he paid in them, the more they wanted his attention. He pretended he found it annoying but he absolutely adored those cats!


    • My husband certainly doesn’t ignore them… but my mother doesn’t like cats and they do seem obsessed with her when she visits.


  7. Great post. My ‘babies’ are all of the furry kind. The dog I had when I met Hubby only barked at him. Maggie is our Baby though. If she’s feeling uncertain or anxious, she goes to him. If she’s feeling poorly or wants fuss, she comes to me. Bless. At least dogs don’t need the latest in mobile phones or designer clothes (nor that colossal college fund!)
    Hope you had a happy Mother’s Day, even if it was by default! lol


    • Thanks. It was nice to celebrate with my Mother, even if the cats would rather pay tribute to my husband.


  8. Like you, I never had the honour of being a Mom and mine has been gone for some time. It does tend to make the day a little awkward for me. Cats are not an option for me. Now a dog I could do. In the end I think taking care of He-Who is a big enough challenge. 😉


    • I love dogs, but they are a lot of work. I’d rather have a furry kid that comes already housebroken.


  9. I have to say, your husband appears to be a wonderful kitty mommy, though slightly over protective of what are normally very independent furbabies. Love the picture.

    I have lived with cats all of my adult life, can’t imagine not having at least one or two stalking about the house. They are, I think the most interesting of non-speaking companions.


    • Our oldest is actually a speaking companion. She hollers every morning at 5:30 for her breakfast. Non-stop. Till we get up. She wins.


  10. Shucks. How lucky is your hubby and makes a perfect Daddy-Mom for your felines. Cute picture too. At least you have a good sense of humor about this, Nancy. I couldn’t live without kitties either but these days allow myself only one. She’s on my lap making sure I type nice.


    • I keep saying we will go down (by attrition – I’m not rushing it) to two. But we haven’t had just two for twenty years.


      • I used to have pairs to keep each other company especially when I was still working, and for a time I had three but now I’m home and am selfish to have only one. 😉


  11. Very funny!


  12. There may be classes you can take to become more in tune with cats? Perhaps they heard you talking about downward dog and got turned off. Hats off to your Hubby. My husband says he’s “cat neutral” (I came with cats — that was the deal) but I find him scratching and petting them often. One of our cats who looks like a fireplug prefers him to me (there is no accounting for good taste in this house!).


    • I think I am plenty tuned into them. So they know they can’t get away with too much. My husband spoils them. And they love it.


  13. “Froot loops of the feline” hahaha right on 🙂 I personally don’t own a kitty or I neither am owned by one, but when I long for something furry and fluffy and full of disdain I go to the cats café that opened last year in Paris, and just let the cats ignore me while I sip my coffee and pretend to ignore them as well. 😉 I am a great pretender lalalalaaaaa


    • Just visiting is often a good idea. That’s the way I feel now about children.


  14. Ray G

    Things (future arrangements) might change after you retire and are able to give the “kids” the equal attention as hubby currently does.


  15. My life is similar. No children of my own but we have five cats and one dog. The cats prefer to sleep with my husband.


    • It’s just unfair. Why can’t JUST ONE of the fur kids prefer you and me???


  16. You are soooo funny! And so right! My dogs worship my hubby and the cats share the computer with him. But Im okay with them as long as I keep them fed and treated. I feel like chopped liver…


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: