notquiteold

Nancy Roman

Compliments

One of the rules I try to live by is to pay lots of compliments.

I don’t mean smarmy false flattery.

I mean the real thing.

I believe there is at least one occasion EVERY DAY to pay someone a sincere compliment.

Just look around you. You are surrounded by people looking nice, doing great work, trying their best. Tell them so.

It makes them – and you –  feel really good.

 

To help you get started with daily compliments, here are a few suggestions:

 

1. When you are in a restaurant, and the kids at the next table are being well-behaved, go up to the table and tell the parents so. Lots of kids are great in restaurants. But parents only seem to hear about the times their kids aren’t so great.

2. At work, when someone says something really smart in a meeting, say, “What a good idea” for everyone to hear. And then after the meeting is over, send that person an email saying, “You were awesome today.”

3. If a salesperson gives you advice, don’t just respond with a cursory thank you. Be personal. Say, “You are really helpful and I appreciate it.”

4. Teenagers may often act like assholes, but underneath they are insecure. (Remember… you were there, and you were a mess.) Find something truly nice to comment on. Say, “What beautiful eyelashes you have” to the girl who packs your groceries. Even if she puts the bread on the bottom.

5. Do the same for older people. Older women often pride themselves on the good taste they have acquired over a lifetime. When you are standing next to an older lady, you can usually find something that expresses the care she takes to look nice. A good purse, a pretty scarf, earrings, perfume. Notice what it is, and tell her.

6. Do you have subordinates? Don’t just tell them what to do. Tell them, “I need your help.” Say, “I’m glad you’re here.” And when they do something right, don’t say “Good.”  Say “Great.” Say “Perfect!”  if it is.

7. And almost everybody has a boss. When she shows you something new or explains something, tell her she’s a good teacher, if she is.  Say, “Thanks. I get it now. You really made it clear.”

8. It’s easy to take your spouse for granted. I certainly do. But every now and then, try to remember to appreciate some of the small things he does. Does he make the coffee in the morning? Say, “I love coming into the kitchen and having a cup of coffee waiting for me.”  When you’re going out, before he can tell you that you look nice (which of course he SHOULD), tell him first – “You look great!”

9. For all men:  (teenagers, young men, old men, and probably toddlers):  “Nice car.”

 

Note: This is an audience-participation post. Please add the compliments that you like to give – or like to hear!

 

marktwaincompliment

 

 

50 Comments

  1. Gee, you are a great writer and your blog has entertained me to no end.

    Like

    • That will keep me going for another two months. Thanks.

      Like

  2. mysending

    Great post!

    Like

  3. I like to make a point of calling a store or a bank to highlight good service of an individual, as opposed to always phoning to complain

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    • That’s a terrific idea. Or ask for the manager right then and there, and when the manager comes over, tell them (in the employee’s presence if you can) what a great job the employee did. Thanks for a great suggestion.

      Like

  4. Reblogged this on gblaw's Blog and commented:
    Compliments

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  5. divaforaday

    So true, thank you for reminding me, I glowed for at least 24 hours on a casual compliment received in the supermarket 🙂

    Like

    • See! I feel the same way! The smallest compliment can make my whole day.

      Like

  6. Great post. Great advice. It would make the world a little brighter. I know a couple of people whose whole lives were changed by a compliment given when in school. Thanks for this.

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    • Thanks. Mark Twain said it well. A good compliment can keep you going.

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  7. You are so correct, and it seems like everyone is so sheltered and scared now-a-days. I was in the grocery store yesterday, Palm Sunday, and a lovely looking older couple was shopping, too. I noticed her fragrance and style straight away, and I complimented her on her beautiful outfit. She beamed and he smiled, too. 🙂

    MJ

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    • It works! I’m so glad you told her. Sometimes in the grocery store, when I see an old lady buying something, I go up and ask her if she would recommend that brand. And then I thank her for her advice. Some people have a lot of knowledge and no one to give it to.

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      • you are very wise and that is perfect, I will try that 🙂 MJ

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  8. Good post. I remember commenting on an elderly lady’s perfume in the supermarket queue. She was over the moon as it was new (a gift from her grand daughter) and she hadn’t tried it before.
    Hubby and I always say thank you, but you are right when a genuine compliment is either paid by you or comes your way. It makes even the greyest day brighter 🙂

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    • My husband can be as aggravating as any man can be, but he also makes my life easier in a thousand ways, by doing so many little things. I often take them for granted. But last week he did the simple task of changing the light over the sink, and hey, I could put my makeup on again – and I remembered to thank him.

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  9. I always enjoy your posts. Great Job!

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  10. Right on! I this is so true. I work at a grocery store and we are asked to do that to customers and each other. It makes a huge difference. I’m re-blogging and sending to Facebook. Everyone should make the effort. We could all be making each other’s day!

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    • Thanks for the reblog. Compliments are such simple things, but they can generate so much good will.

      Like

  11. Reblogged this on sixty, single and surviving and commented:
    Re-blogging means ‘I wish I’d said that!’

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  12. You madam, have often taught me things even within your humor. I am grateful both for the lesson and the laughter.

    As to compliments, I am always mindful to say thank you and to send a letter to a business when an employee has been especially helpful. I make certain I name the employee and say what and when.

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    • Good for you. My husband is getting physical therapy for a minor problem and just tonight he was telling a friend how good the therapist is, and the friend said, “Send his boss a letter!”

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  13. I am a huge fan of positive re-enforcement. This was exactly what I needed this morning to remind me that not everyone in the world is a negative Nellie.
    Perfect post, perfect list, on the day I most needed it.

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    • Thank you – Not perfect at all, but I have the best intentions.

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  14. Great advice! If I can’t think of anything specific to compliment on or we haven’t had an interaction – I think a smile goes a long way, too.

    Like

    • Just a smile does go a long way. Here’s something else to consider: When I used to visit my father in the nursing home, there were dozens of old people sitting in their wheelchairs in the hall. I often stopped for every person and said Hello. It took me a long time to make it down the hall, but maybe it was the only hello of the day for one of those people.

      Like

  15. What a great reminder! I’m going forth to “kill ’em with compliments.”

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    • Thanks. I put it into practice tonight too. I stopped to tell my Yoga teacher than his class was extra good tonight, and that he made me feel wonderful.

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  16. This can really lubricate everyone’s passage through rough spots. One I use, if I see someone who really takes pains with her appearance: “I just love your style. You really have a great, pulled-together look.” I need to be better at accepting compliments–I tend to brush them off with “Oh, I’ve had this forever….”

    Like

    • I tend to minimize compliments too. But it makes the person giving you the compliment feel so much better to say “Thank you. You made my day!”

      Like

  17. This is wonderful advice, delivered with kindness and generating a smile. Thank you!

    Like

  18. What a fantastic idea thing to do!

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    • If you look for something to compliment, you’d be surprised how easy it to find it.

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      • I rewrote my comment, so it doesn’t make as much sense as I would have liked. Darn that editing mid-sentence! I do agree. Seeing the good in people can make the world a better place!

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  19. Lovely. What great advice! You are an inspiration for living a more positive life! Enjoyed reading your blog. 🙂

    Like

    • Thank you. An inspiration! That inspires me!

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  20. What, hitting “Like” isn’t enough??????

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  21. Thanks for the reminder to look for opportunities to give compliments, they can bring so much joy. I chose to be a stay-at-home mom so I often find myself encouraging moms in my neighborhood. Saying things like – “You have such an important job, or you have so much patience.” Our society doesn’t do much to support non-working moms and the job can be quite isolating.

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  22. A few years ago, I did compliment a young man (about age 12) who had been sitting behind me in a restaurant. His conversation with his grandmother (I assumed) was so polite and mature. He beamed as I told his grandmother what a wonderful young man she was with and how lucky she was. She agreed and that kid almost jumped out of the booth with pride and happiness. I hope he remembers it. I try to tell people they have done a great job. It takes a little practice to make the right comments, but is worth it.

    Like

  23. There are times when I give a friend a much needed compliment, and that’s when I feel the beauty of love that giving brings.

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  24. As usual, a well-written piece with great content. I have always given lots of sincere compliments and know that it brightens everyone’s day.
    Recently I rang a bakery and said that I had just bought a vanilla slice. You could almost hear the pause, waiting for the expected complaint. However, I said, “It was the best vanilla slice I have had in months.” Too often we only call to complain, so that makes a compliment doubly special. Try it, everyone, as Nancy suggests.

    Like

  25. I’m late seeing this post, but what great advice! Not only did you suggest that we give compliments, but you give perfect examples of how easily it can be done. Motor Man is always saying: “you don’t have to thank me”, but, as I’ve told him, I thank total strangers for doing something nice for me: I certainly should thank my husband!
    And I actually HAVE mentioned to parents in restaurants how well behaved their children are.
    You’re so right about teenagers being insecure; they need compliments more than many other folks whose paths we cross.
    And your “nice car” comment….. so very true!
    Thanks for opening our eyes to so many possibilities to brighten another person’s day!

    Like

  26. Have just found your blog and can totally relate to this post.
    Last week, with no Internet and no land line (line had been accidentally cut) and no cell service at my cabin, I headed into McDonalds for iced tea and Wi-Fi.
    As I got in line a man turned to leave and almost bumped into me. Niceties were exchanged (excuse me, no problem) and I pondered whether to indulge in that sausage cheese biscuit or save my ever expanding waistline from another indignity.
    A few seconds later, the same gentleman had returned and over my shoulder said “I just have to say…You have the nicest smile.”
    Made. My. Day.

    Like

    • What a nice compliment – and coming unexpectedly makes it that much sweeter.

      Like

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