Old Lady Stuff I Like
On my post, Not Quite Old Enough For This, I listed lots of Old Lady stuff that gives me the Old Lady shingles – sandals with pantyhose, rainbonnets, etc.
However, I confess an affection for some truly Old Lady accoutrements:
Elizabeth Taylor’s White Diamonds Cologne
My husband gave me this for Christmas about five years ago. Some dumb saleslady sold this to him, probably assuming I was as old as him. But he’s as old as the hills, whereas I am almost six whole years younger. I rolled my eyes when I unwrapped the gift. Old Lady Perfume? Not me! But you know, I kind of liked it. I wouldn’t admit it at first, but I started wearing it just once in a while (i.e., every day) and when the bottle ran out, I bought another. And another. And the body lotion. It’s still old lady perfume, but I smell nice. (This is an unpaid, unsolicited endorsement; but if someone wants to pay me, I would politely accept.)
Okay, I don’t have a Slanket. But for about ten months a year, I do wear a blanket while watching TV. And a blanket with sleeves would totally make it easier to do just about anything. Like snack. And look at the girl in this ad… she’s very very happy – and young too! This Fall, I am buying one for sure.
My Great Aunt Lil always had a pretty pillbox in her purse. This is mine. My headache feels better as soon as I take it out. That’s called the synergistic effect in pharmacology. Medically proven.
I didn’t get married until I was forty. That’s a lot of years to wear sexy underthings; you know—just in case. Bikinis, thongs, teddies: they look amazing. But can you sit in them? Soon after the honeymoon, I bought a supply of real underpants. Thank you, Costco.