Nancy Roman

Not Quite Old Tanning

There’s no doubt about it, tanning ages your skin.  Unfortunately, white skin ages YOU.

I mean, really, is there anything older than an old lady’s white shin?  Perhaps her white thigh, which is why old ladies never reveal anything above the knee.

I have white skin.  Luckily, I’m not the burn and peel, burn and peel type of white.  I’m pale, but I can tan a little if I go about it gradually.  So halfway through summer, I am tan, though I know it’s not good for me.

I don’t mind freckles.  They’re healthy looking, whether you are six or sixty.  But what I am getting on my face are not freckles.  They’re age spots. A little splotch on the side of my nose, another just above my  upper lip, and a bigger one on  my left cheek.  Apparently, these are caused by hormones, but I am not supposed to have any more hormones. 

So I have to use concealer on my age spots.  I lighten the skin I have deliberately darkened.  Tanning is complicated.

My shins are nice though.  And the tan blends in nicely with the spider veins. 

I haven’t gone overboard.  I don’t have that dry leather look that older women get when they tan too much.  The only part of me that’s just slightly leathery (a little old suede maybe) is my cleavage.  Although cleavage is not really the right word—I ‘d call it the space between my very small breasts.

Oh, wait.  I remember why the high school boys thought I was twelve.

1 Comment

  1. Wine just came out of my nose..really…wow…LOL


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