Having Lost My Mind
I have now been retired for five years.
I love being retired. I love living my life exactly as I wish. No schedule. No deadlines. No bosses.
And now I have done it. Or un-done it. Lost my senses.
I saw a posting for a part-time bookkeeper at my local library.
And all of a sudden, I wanted to do it.
Ever since I was a little kid, I wanted to work in a library.
Imagine going to work every day in a place that’s full of books and people who like to read books. That is an introvert’s heaven.
I took a day to think about it. And decided that yes, I have indeed lost my mind.
But what if I could fulfill a childhood fantasy at the age of 70? Why wouldn’t I want to do that? After all, my other dream was to be a movie star, which isn’t so likely anymore.
And I had been a financial executive for thirty years. Bookkeeping wouldn’t be so hard. Just part-time too. I could do it.
I sent my resume. My cover letter said, “I know that my resume is a bit ‘extravagant’ for a part-time bookkeeper. But I’m no longer looking to move up in the world. A nice quiet world is fine by me.”
I got the job.
I have been at it for two weeks now.
On the first day, I was sure I had made a grievous mistake. Oh yuck, I thought. I am matching purchase orders to packing slips to invoices. Didn’t I do that in the 80s? And I’m lousy at it, to boot.
But on the second day, I found some of the purchase orders. And I found staples and paper clips. And the bathroom.
I worked so quietly, the staff forgot I was there. They were locking the doors and enabling the security system as they were leaving, as I rushed down the stairs. The librarians were shocked. Shocked that they almost locked me in, and probably shocked that I am even quieter than librarians.
To be honest, that had happened when I was new at my last job too. After working a little late trying to figure out what the hell I was doing, I got up from my desk, and all the building alarms went off. The police came. The company president gave me the security codes the next day.
On my third day at the library, I paid bills. I put checks in the printer and they didn’t even print upside down. Plus, I got out safely before the alarms went off.
Week Two: I made a bank deposit and balanced the cash and produced a financial statement.
And I did it in a LIBRARY!