Will I Ever Listen?
Will I ever listen –
To myself?
I give lots and lots of advice. I am always writing about stuff that you should do or not do. Stuff to make you feel better or at least not feel so bad. Stuff to help you through difficult times or to enjoy sweet times.
I’m very good at doling out the advice.
And lots of people seem to appreciate it.
Apparently, I am not one of those people.
This year, I disregarded two of my most valuable pieces of advice.
#1: Do not be ashamed of what you like.
I wrote about hearing a woman tease her friend about the romance novel her friend was reading. And the romance-novel friend kind of laughed and agreed that the book was a little trashy. I felt bad. Because I wanted the romance-novel friend to say, “I LOVE THIS BOOK!” Because she did. And there’s nothing to be ashamed of.
But I have been a little ashamed this year of what I like.
I like makeup.
In fact, I love makeup.
I love wearing it, I love buying it, I love how it looks on my shelf. I love reading about it in blogs and in Youtube videos.
And writing about it in blogs looked like fun. And I saw a tiny niche that I could fill – makeup and skincare advice for us stylish, but older, women.
And it would give me an excuse to spend as much money as I already spend.
So I started a blog … 8 months ago … “Age Before Beauty.”
But I didn’t promote it. I hardly mentioned it. I added a link at the top of this blog, but that’s all.
Because I didn’t think it “fit” with how deep and thoughtful I am.
I am deep.
I am thoughtful.
And I love me my makeup.
So there.
But here’s the thing.
I violated another one of my ‘rules’:
#2: Don’t do stuff you don’t like.
Oh, we all have to do shit we hate – pay taxes, go to work with a headcold, not hit people who don’t share our opinions.
But, we also do stuff we dislike that we should just STOP. Stop reading a book you’re not enjoying, stop going to parties you don’t want to attend.
But did I listen to me?
No.
Because after eight months of blogging about makeup, I have to admit:
I don’t really like it.
I don’t like taking photos of little tubes and silly swatches on the back of my hand.
And even though I like to tell people what products I really love, I really dislike advising anyone else to use the same thing. For one thing, it might not work for someone else. For another thing, next week I might decide I don’t like it after all. In fact, probably tomorrow I’ll decide I don’t like it after all. I have a new favorite several times a month. And one thing I KNOW I dislike is saying, “Sorry, I made a mistake.”
I am going to stop what I don’t enjoy. I don’t know yet whether I will actually delete that blog. Maybe occasionally I will feel like writing about some cool makeup product. But I doubt it.
So here’s my final makeup advice:
Use what works for you. Use a lot. Use a little. Use nothing at all.
It’s all good.
Women are beautiful.
Any way at all.
Enjoy your beauty. Enjoy your own self.
notquiteold 
I love this – great message! (‘Not hit people who don’t share our opinions’ subtly put in there – haha)
https://laurawrightsite.wordpress.com/
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Yes, I am really proud that I don’t hit people.
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Reblogged this on ugiridharaprasad.
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I totally agree, we sometimes fall into that cycle of not being the outsider. Great post, I love make up too.
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Thanks, I’ve loved makeup since I was a little kid… I love it more now!
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I love your makeup blog. I learned a few things. I agree that what we like today changes but somethings it’s hard to find things that specifically look good on older women. (Especially concealers under the eye!) Perhaps you can occasionally blog about a new makeup love here. PS: I did notice that it’s been a while since you last posted so I wondered.
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I may still add something once in a while, so I will leave it up. I did find two good mascaras lately, Tarte’s Maneater and Benefit’s Roller Lash. So I am still loving all the experimentation.
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That’s good news. I do go back when I don’t remember something (or forgot where I jotted it down!).
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I love this message
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Thank you!
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You welcome
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I love this piece to bits! Such honesty ❤
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Thank you. When you reach a certain age, you have less to lose by being honest. And maybe a lot to gain.
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Very good pieces of advice both of them. I don’t like make up or romance novels but I totally agree you can be a serious and deep thinking person and still enjoy them. I collect dolls and for many years I didn’t talk about it for fear of ridicule but I got to a point where I didn’t care what people thought about it any more and will now happily talk about my hobby to anyone. I like dolls. I collect dolls I blog about dolls and I enjoy doing it.
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I loved dolls more than anything in the world when I was a young girl. And I still really appreciate a beautiful doll. I don’t collect them as you do, but I can absolutely see the pleasure those sweet dolls can bring!
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Maybe everyone won’t wear the makeup you recommend, but if someone’s looking for ideas they’re sure to find them on your makeup blog! I’d keep it, since you do love makeup, but just post whenever you feel like it. Actually it sounds like that may be what you’ve decided 🙂
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You’re right… I will probably keep it – and maybe will feel like it once in a while. Why not?
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Your post reminded me of the saying, “Do as I say, not as I do”. I also like to give advice (although mostly its just in my mind!) but I don’t always follow it myself. Your post was a timely reminder to me to do what feels good TO ME and to not do things that don’t give me joy!
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Exactly. Please yourself – lots of other people demand attention, or are people we WANT to please, but we should always keep a core of what WE ourselves love.
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Interesting! Good on you for dropping the makeup blog. Strange fact: whenever I hear myself giving advice to others, I notice it’s exactly the advice I need myself. So that’s handy. You’ve noticed this too?
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Oh yes…. If I would only listen to what I am telling others!!!
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I love make up, I like to wear it when I go out if I don’t have make up on I like to at least have lippy on and earrings and some perfume makes me feel good. I also like to wear dresses unlike a couple of my sisters.
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I love all kinds of makeup – even my everyday look is comprised of at least seven products! And I love jewelry, perfume, pretty clothes. But I’m not an airhead – I just LIKE all that stuff!
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Nancy, I just saw this article (which I didn’t read) and thought of you and your book (which I haven’t read yet, either) but thought you should see it:
https://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/flu-novels-great-pandemic-180965205/?utm_source=keywee-facebook.com&utm_medium=socialmedia&utm_campaign=keywee&kwp_0=572208&kwp_4=2041820&kwp_1=852942
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Wow! That’s quite some timing! I watched a documentary on the pandemic, and it was theorized that no one wanted to write about it because they wanted to forget it. It was so awful at the time, many people thought everyone would die and the world would end.
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I thought so too. Hope it was good! I knew I’d forget if I didn’t send it right away!
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I think I will use this article to publicize the book. The revised version is coming out really soon, and I’m now as happy with how it looks as I am with the story.
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Great!
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i love your honesty, but there were times we do things we don’t like because the situation calls for it.
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For sure. We all have unpleasant “musts” – but we should try to make sure the optional stuff is made up of things we really enjoy. (and things that those we love enjoy – I’m all for making other people happy too – just not at the cost of my own piece of mind.
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Love your honesty
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A good piece of art💕
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This is a wonderful message, Nancy. I too love makeup and I am always finding new favourites. I love trying new products. So I am very fickle with all of it. I one eyeliner pencil that I have been using for as long as I can remember (not the same pencil, but the same product) but it is the only one I have ever remained totally faithful to over the years. Although, I really do think “women of a certain age” may need some education on what works on a face of a certain age, if you aren’t happy about doing it definitely keep doing what makes you happy. That’s what makes your readers happy.
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Thanks. I did blog just this week, and I may again. But no pressure. When I feel like it, I may write, but on no schedule but my own whim. That will work for me.
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This made me laugh and cry.
Beautiful words and such wonderful advice. Life is too short to spend time doing things we kid ourselves we SHOULD be doing. Once we’ve done what we really need to do in a day, we should listen to our inner self and what it wants to do x
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