Better Than I Know Myself
There are certain words I love.
When I was a little girl, I loved the word Mystical. It sounded beautiful – it sounded like what it meant.
I loved Forsythia. Isn’t that a lyrical word? At the beginning of Spring, just hearing someone say Forsythia made me feel refreshed.
As I got a little older, Mystical was replaced with Ephemeral.
And Decolletage. Why would anyone use the coarse and ugly Cleavage when you could whisper Decolletage?
Right now I am enamored with Algorithm.
I just love that word. It’s a sturdy word. Not gossamer (which I also rather like, by the way). It’s precise. Scientific. Strong, but it ends lightly… with rithm. (I got rithm. I got music…)
Which has gotten me, eventually as usual, to my point.
The Internet Algorithms.
They are as perfect as the word itself.
Facebook, Amazon, Google – they have discovered the formulas that explain us.
They know me. My brain doesn’t see connections between what I write one day, and what I read the next day, and what I will buy tomorrow. But the Internet Algorithm knows.
The Algorithm knows what books will captivate me, what clothes I will adore, and what cartoons will delight me.
I used to think, though, that sometimes the Internet got it wrong. Like suggesting crochet patterns, or 3-day purge programs, or $149 sleep solutions.
But OMG, I just today had the most incredible revelation!
My brain is scattered.
Facebook is logical.
What if Facebook KNOWS me better than I know myself? Given Facebook’s recent accurate prediction that I was about to become completely infatuated with Anthropologie…
What if Facebook’s algorithms are actually foretelling my future?
Maybe in the next year I will start crocheting during my insomnia-inducing three-day purge.
I think it is very likely, given the precision of the algorithms.
So this week, you can imagine that I was a bit concerned when Facebook suggested I join a support group for Myelodysplastic Syndrome. Holy Crap, the infallible algorithm sees bone marrow failure in me!
I know I should be very grateful though. Early diagnosis is critical to successful treatment. And you can’t get any earlier than getting your diagnosis before you even have the disease.
But to tell you the truth, I am even more scared by a “Suggested Post” that Facebook has sent to me at least eight times this month.
Not only am I destined to be a… (yikes)… Republican…
I am going to be a Republican in UGLY SOCKS!!!!