I survived a whole month without shopping!
My niece introduced me to Pretend Shopping. She finds great stuff on the internet and sends photos to her friends, saying, “I pretend-bought this for you!”
Here’s what she once picked out for me:
Pretend-Shopping is a great idea, and so I did a lot of it this month. My Pinterest page now has lots of stuff I will never buy. Let’s just consider Pinterest my Pretend-Closet.
I Pretend-Bought tee shirts (mostly striped) and watches (mostly jeweled) and as long as it was only Pretend, I added gray suede over-the-knee boots and a bright yellow clingy dress.
But my favorite Pretend-Purchase was this:
Oh yeah. I want holey jeans for my Pretend-Wardrobe. For the extra-chic, they are called Distressed Jeans. But I can’t call them that. It distresses me to think that jeans would ever be unhappy on my body.
I asked my Facebook friends if 63 was too old for ripped jeans. Everyone said to go for it. But mostly they are not 63.
So I asked my husband. “Do you think ripped jeans are sexy?” He wasn’t sure. So that’s a NO. My husband is always sure of sexy. (He didn’t see them with these leopard heels though.)
Pretend-Shopping saved me shitloads of money.
But I can’t say I didn’t cheat at all.
My husband bought a dartboard on a whim. He built a backboard for it and hung it in the cellar. And it’s really fun. We’ve been playing almost every day. So I spent $6.00 on a whiteboard to hang near the dartboard on its backboard. So we can keep a scoreboard. It’s my contribution towards togetherness, so it doesn’t count.
I also bought a microdermabrasion cleanser. I never knew I needed one, but a few months ago the saleslady at Sephora gave me a sample, and I really liked it. And the little jar was almost empty, so I figured I’d buy the full size one. I looked it up. It was $75.00. So I bought a different one from Walgreens.com that was $13.00. I like the $75 one a lot better, but I consider my purchase as a savings, not an expenditure. So it also doesn’t count.
So neither the whiteboard nor the cleanser counts against my non-shopping month.
So how did I cheat?
We went to New York this week, and with time to spare before the train, we wandered into an art supply store. And there in one crowded aisle was one fabulous little memory.
My favorite teacher, Sister Regina Marie, introduced me to these Cray-Pas oil pastels when I was in sixth grade. It was her way of helping us graduate from crayons to something a little more sophisticated. I loved these oil sticks. And Sister taught us how to blend colors so that this little set was all we needed.
I showed them to my husband, and told him that I had this set in school fifty years ago.
“Buy them,” he said.
And I did.
And that’s how I cheated.
The price: $5.95.
That is the least I have ever spent in one month in all those fifty years since I drew with Cray-Pas. A Personal Best!
And it was a pleasure to use them again. I need a little practice, but I’ll get the hang of it. Here’s a self-portrait I did in my own inimitable style. My style is a truly unique technique – which you may have noticed – that results in every picture of me looking thirty years younger.
You can’t be a better artist than that.