notquiteold

Nancy Roman

When Did That Happen?

One of my Dad’s favorite expressions was “You must have been hiding behind the barn when the brains got handed out.”

I never really understood why someone would hide in order to avoid brains.   But I got the point. I always seemed to miss something important.

I knew by the age of fifteen that I must have been hiding behind the barn when the boobies got handed out.

And there have been lots of cultural changes that seemed to have happened while I was behind the barn.

As I mentioned recently –  I missed that moment in time when spaghetti became pasta.

And:

– When did potatoes become starch? When did meat become protein?

– And when did pocketbooks become handbags?

– When did quilts become duvets? (And how do you keep the inside part of the duvet from bunching up at the end of the outer duvet?)

– When exactly did station wagons become SUVs? Or minivans?  What makes a minivan mini anyway? They look pretty big to me.

– When did rouge become blush? When did moisturizer become BB cream? When did BB cream become CC cream? When is DD coming out?

– When did water become something you buy?

– When did beer transition from Schlitz to Boutique?

–  And when did self-centered demanding bitches become divas? And why is it okay for little girls to want to become one?

And  – at the risk of getting too serious (which I almost never am):

– When did warfare become conventional?

– When did compromise become a dirty word?

– When did we forget about poor people?

Behind the Barn

Still behind the barn.

41 Comments

  1. Really!!!

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    • And, at the risk of getting lots of folks angry: When did SKIN become GRAFFITI?

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  2. Perfect. Something obviously happened while we were busy with other stuff. Obviously, that’s when everything got fucked up.

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    • I should not have stayed in a coma for so long.

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    • This is the perfect comment, I cannot add anything more

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  3. I always thought “behind the barn” meant doing something inappropriate…

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    • In my house, it seemed to be where you went if you did not want what they were handing out.

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      • I was behind the barn, I guess, when they were handing out cooking skills.

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  4. Lots of good questions!

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  5. paulessick

    Reblogged this on My Blog snuppy.

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  6. Yeah, when!

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  7. Hudson Howl

    Interesting is it not, the most incomprehensible actions are often carried out by highly intelligent people. Intelligence is no guarantee for empathy.

    My first time here, your writing is as smooth as silk and shimmers with natural good intentions. Good ‘shtufffs’.

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  8. I’m kinda trying to figure out unconventional warfare: ignore it and it will go away? Probably not. And as to compromise … Oh My Word, listening to the idiocy between Oct 1 and capitulation made me wonder if anyone elected in the last six years has a clue what the word means … . I think we adopted duvet from the English (yes, I know it looks French to me, but I have a friend in England who refers to them that way so I’m presuming it migrated from Normandy, via England to the US … taking not quite a thousand years to get from point A on the Continent to point B in the US. ) … Oh wait, I thought what I call a comforter (thick, wonderfully warm and much nicer than a plain old blanket) was what they called a duvet … shoot, now I’m confused again.

    Lovely post as usual.

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    • Maybe the transition was quilt to comforter to duvet. (and I missed it all.)

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  9. I guess I was behind the barn with you – when did cursive become part of the history curriculum in some schools? Just adding to my basic ignorance…

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    • You mean they don’t teach it anymore? There I go, hiding behind the barn again…

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  10. Chris

    With us it was “you must have been born in a barn” – with the last four words emphasized with a Boston accent.

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    • We were born in a barn if we didn’t close the door. We were behind the barn when we were avoiding stuff. And I lived where there were no barns, so I was a little misinformed on how country folk lived.

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      • Chris

        Yeah, you’re right. It usually meant we were being sloppy, not stupid.

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  11. We didn’t have a barn to hide behind. We were always just on the “other side of the door”.
    Either way I missed all this stuff and, I fear, much more as well.

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    • Never heard ‘the other side of the door’. That would have made more sense in my neighborhood.

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      • The other one was, “You must have been at the back of the line”.

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        • Chris

          Yes!

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  12. Good questions!
    “Must have walked off when God was handing out brains” (you’ve heard that one, right? He took a break and told some humans to wait – but they walked off before He came back….explains a lot. giggles)

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  13. Seriously (my younger granddaughter’s favourite word). I missed most of these changes you mention too. There was that time I got LOST behind the barn, in that big field…

    Other sayings: … You crawled from under a cabbage leaf?
    You must have been born in the cabbage patch.
    Were you hiding behind the door when God was gifting people?
    🙂

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    • Let’s not forget that sometimes we just came over on the boat!

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      • And I am some of we. Don’t these various terms imply the question, “How dense can you be?” I’m saying this nice and am being polite. 😉

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  14. Ladybug

    When did schools, parents and those in authority stop having authority? Bullying was never an issue growing up because it was stopped immediately with a trip to the principal’s office and a call to your parents, who you feared because they actually would punish you.

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    • I remember years ago when I worked in New Haven, the superintendent of schools was talking about the same thing. He grew up in a ghetto, but still he said that he hardly ever misbehaved because some grownup would always say, “Stop that or I’ll tell your mother.” And he knew they would. He believed that the deterioration of neighborhoods where everyone knew each other had hurt society tremendously.

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  15. In our house it was, “when God said brain, you thought he said train and missed it!” Unless, of course, you just fell off of the turnip truck.

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    • I remember the turnip truck… what the heck did THAT mean?

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  16. In our house, it was “Were you hiding behind the door when xxxx was handed out”? And I can’t top that list! It’s pretty awesome.

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  17. This is so good I am reblogging it!

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  18. Reblogged this on Virginia Views and commented:
    I disappeared behind the barn eons ago….

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  19. I don’t even have a barn……

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  20. Hadassa

    Reblogged this on UNBELIEVABLE OFFERS & DISCOUNTS.

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  21. Hadassa

    It was Great amazing………..☺♥♥♥

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  22. when did skin become graffiti? amen.

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    • It’s one of my pet peeves. And growing every day.

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  23. I have read and enjoyed your posting and all of the comments on this one. I see that we share at least two friends and I am sure that I will be calling back to read some more of your fine writing. Have a truly lovely evening 🙂

    Andro

    Like

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