notquiteold

Nancy Roman

I Worry.

I am not a worrier.

In fact, my husband says I have no concept of the countless dangers that are lurking out there, just waiting for me. If only I knew, I could be prepared. He prepares me every time I leave the house.

And yet, despite all the warnings, I insist upon leaving the house.

And I am so careless, I actually walk and drive places without thinking about all the potential perils.

Until last night.

I had a very worrisome drive.

I was meeting friends for dinner in a city about 45 minutes away. I had never been to this restaurant before, wasn’t quite sure where it was, but I’ve been to that city several times. I actually worked there thirty years ago. I googled the address. Piece of cake.

(I also have GPS, but I don’t particularly like being ordered around by my car.)

I had no concerns, until I read Dor’s post at DoranRule, Someone left a box of tissues in the back seat of her car. Strange tissues. Weird tissues.

Who would do that? Where had those tissues come from?

I became a little nervous thinking about that little box of kleenex. Someone may put a box of kleenex in my car. This was just the kind of danger that my husband always warns me about.

And that started a chain of worries.

Traffic was heavy on the way to the restaurant. Bumper-to-bumper through Waterbury. Of course, it is always bumper-to-bumper through Waterbury. I never give it a thought. But last night I worried. I worried that if the traffic stayed this heavy, how would I change lanes when I got to my exit? If no one let me change lanes, I might have to drive to Massachusetts.

The traffic lightened up, and I changed lanes one mile before my exit. Phew! That was close!

On the next stretch of highway, I had a motorcyclist in front of me. If he hit a pothole, he could lose control. I could run him over. I passed him as soon as I could. But passing him worried me too. He could hit a pothole and lose control, and I could still run him over. He could slide under my car. He managed to keep the bike upright. Then he was behind me. What if I had to stop fast? Would he run into me? Would he end up in my back seat? I had no tissues for him.

I got to Middletown. And there was the restaurant. With no place to park. Oh wait, there was a parking space right nearby. I did a semi-U-turn and pulled into the spot. It was right in front of the police station. Parking for Police Vehicles Only. And I am sure they frown upon semi-U-turns, which I had no choice but to make another on the way out. I worried that I might not be able to use my credit card for bail.

Around the corner, there was a parking garage. Free after six. This is my lucky day. Why in the world was I worried? Oh yeah, because parking garages are inherently dangerous. But it was right next to the back of the police station. Certainly not the best location for a pervert. I parked and quickly walked to the restaurant.

I had a wonderful time. There are no better friends than old friends. I mentioned that I parked in the garage. They thought I was very brave, given that stalkers can hide under your car and slash your achilles tendon so you cannot run away. I am sure my husband called one of them to ask them to repeat that story.

Walking back to the car, there were cops everywhere. And the parking garage was well-lit. There was no one under my car. Unless… he was hanging on to the undercarriage. I unlocked the door a few feet away, so I could jump in. Of course, you are not supposed to unlock your car a few feet away; someone else could jump in too. But I managed to get in the car and re-lock the doors before the creep under the car could knife me in the heel. Another close call.

And there was no traffic on the way back. I flew home. I changed lanes in Waterbury at will. Well, perhaps not exactly at will. There was one car ahead of me going very slow, but I wanted that lane for the exit – 5 miles up. I stayed behind the slow guy, because what if I could not change lanes again? I might have to drive past the exit. I could end up in New York.

Heading north from Waterbury, there was even less traffic. Between Thomaston and Litchfield, there were no other cars at all. I had the road to myself. How marvelous! But what if – what if the road was closed, and I didn’t see the sign? What if I was about to drive off a cliff? That happens mostly in Road Runner cartoons. But it could happen.

I finally reached home. My husband was waiting up for me. Very worried.

“I’m fine,” I insisted. “I don’t know why you worry so much!”

drivingatnight

46 Comments

  1. Great post! I tend to worry much more than my husband; he’s trying to change me, but that’s hard to do after all these years… That WAS weird about that box of tissues in Dor’s car….

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    • I usually do not worry at all. But now I worry – I worry that after all these years of marriage, I am turning into my husband. Yikes.

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  2. I never used to worry about anything when I was younger. As I ‘matured’ I had to over-analyse everything. Like YOU. Why is this happening?
    I saw myself between every line here, Nancy. Five miles from the exit. Yep. One mile from it and whew!
    Glad you had an almost police escort to your car and made it home fine. Don’t hubby’s know we can take car of our own selves? *giggles*

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    • He is worried sick when I have walk somewhere that requires me to cross the street.

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  3. paulessick

    Reblogged this on My Blog snuppy.

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  4. I love the worrying about paying bail with a credit card. I never carry cash and I always worry about being stuck somewhere where they only take cash! the horror!

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    • A friend actually got stuck somewhere with a credit card and no cash. She found a store that put through a credit card charge for her and gave her cash. Those were very nice people.

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  5. My husband is a worry-wart, too. He always checks to make sure my cell phone is charged and in my purse before I go out and he’s always waiting for me when I get home. Sometimes I think its sweet and sometimes it annoys the heck out of me.

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    • I lean toward the annoyed side, but I would probably be more annoyed if he didn’t care.

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  6. I always laugh out loud at your hilarious posts, but this time I was laughing so loud my husband got worried. l think he thinks I’m nearing the edge. I laughed so hard I had to retrieve the box of tissues from my car to blot the tears. I am so sorry the Mysterious Tissues have shaken your feelings of safety. There is simply no help for it. 🙂

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  7. i thought it was just me.
    Yes, i have driven over a cliff.
    Great post, thanks for sharing!

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    • I must have watched way too many cartoons as a kid. If there is no one else on the road, I am always worried that the road has been closed and I must have missed the sign.

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  8. Very funny, but why didn’t you mention the really serious worries? Such as, the front tire suddenly exploding when you’re on the highway. Or, that little warning light that keeps coming on and which you don’t know what it’s for because you lost the owners’ manual ages ago, could really be important and the engine is about to explode. Or, that in the multi-story car park when you are on the 5th floor, you put the car into drive instead of into reverse and drive off the building. Or, you have a split-second mental episode during which you drive off the side of the road. Although that’s only a really serious worry if you happen to be on a bridge at the time.Or…

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    • Yes, my front tire could completely come off. The steering wheel could come off in my hand. Someone in that parking garage could have cut the brakes. And a pigeon could fly into my windshield.

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  9. He’s the worrier, not me, but I have picked up on his anxieties and now, I always travel with some extra cash …. just in case! 🙂 Fun post! MJ

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    • But then I would worry about the danger of walking around with so much cash…

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  10. I’m not much of a worrier, except when it comes to my son and his motorcycle. Which is exactly when my “the-world-is-about-to-end” husband tells me that my son is 24 — a grown man — and he knows what he’s doing. But he’s worried that our daughter will eat something while we’re not home and choke.

    There is no logic to worrying ,is there?

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    • I have a friend who lives alone. She worries about choking and whether she could do the Heimlich manuever on herself.

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  11. Al

    Admittedly, we husbands are an anxious lot when it comes to your health and safety. By the way, that was a long post, are your hands and fingers feeling OK? Carpal tunnel is serious stuff. Maybe you should make a doctor appointment, you know, just in case……..

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    • Once when I had the flu, my husband took me to the emergency room and told the doctor I had been exposed to anthrax.

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      • Al

        Now that’s funny! You’re lucky that Homeland Security didn’t lock him up.

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        • I worked for a TV network at the time of the anthrax scares. (Remember how Tom Brokaw getting a letter laced with anthrax?) My husband was sure I had been poisoned.

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  12. I am glad you didn’t worry…much. The motorcycle worry had me laughing so hard I nearly fell off my chair.

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    • I live in fear that a motorcyclist will bounce onto my car.

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  13. Don’t feel bad about the motorcycle worry – I ride a motorcycle myself, and I STILL worry when I’m following a biker in my car, just in case he loses control and I run over him. Nobody says it has to make sense… 😉

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  14. you are hilarious–I am an Olympic gold worrier–it is not worth it–do not pick up this trait

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    • Between my husband and my mother, we have enough worriers in the family. I plan a post soon about the stuff my mother worries about. You will have to take the silver medal behind her!

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  15. Hilarious! I think I became more of a worrier after turning 50….now I’m worried about that whole thing of “not being able to pay bail with a credit card.” hmmm, my worry list grows…

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    • We always need to carry enough cash to make bail.

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  16. I’m an ignorance-is-bliss believer. I used to love driving until My Guy began to alert me to infinite potential dangers, like water on the road (who knows what lurks below). Jack Kerouac wouldn’t have lasted a day with him. 🙂
    Toni

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    • My husbands warns me about wet leaves on the road – and not just in Autumn. Every Day.

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  17. OMG I think you are married to MY husband. He locks the screen door when we open the main door for fresh air, when the house is full of people. Which now a days a locked screen door is a barrier but certainly not a deterrent! But with the tragic home invasions in neighboring towns, give in to his OCD-ness!

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    • I give in to his OCD-ness!

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  18. Hmmmm…in our house I’m the worrier. Hubby is beginning to look at me in fear before he walks out to the garage, in case I’m about to remind him to beware of falling objects and to drink lots of fluids because it’s hot out there. Ridiculous, really. I don’t do that more than three times a day, sometimes less.

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    • I think that is remarkable restraint on your part. I have never said Goodbye to my husband where his answer was anything except: “Please be careful.”

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  19. Isn’t it amazing how that little seed of worry can grow and create all kinds of scenarios in our imagination? For future trips though you may want to keep a box of tissues in the back seat…just in case.

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  20. Hilarious! I worry that I will suddenly have the urge to drive my car over bridges, just to see if I could open the door and get out. I worry that my children will be killed by something randomly falling on them in weird places they never go. Thanks for sharing!

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    • I worry that I will hit a slick spot and slide right off the bridge.

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  21. This cracked me up! I loved it even more because I can picture the area, being a CT girl myself. You are so much braver than I am. I never drive at night. Plus I am a worrier. I know the dangers that lurk everywhere. I am married to an ex-cop and ex-chief of police. Thanks for including this link in your comment today.

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  22. honest and moving

    Liked by 1 person

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