notquiteold

Nancy Roman

Shouldn’t I Have This? ………… Shouldn’t I Have All Of This?

I want to live in a little house with a big porch on the seashore.

I want to live in an apartment in New York City with a geranium on the fire escape.

I want crisp white sheets and gingham curtains.

I want gilded mirrors and french porcelain.

I want rack of lamb with frilly paper panties on the bones.

I want a peanut butter-and-jelly sandwich with a side of potato chips.

I want to appear before sold-out crowds who laugh and applaud.

I want to go for weeks without seeing another human being.

I want to write poetry that makes people cry.

I want to play video games.

I want to raise organic veggies and have chickens in the yard.

I want pizza delivery.

I want it to be warm and sunny all year.

I want to be snowed-in for a week.

I want an executive position with board meetings and stock options.

I want to retire and putter around the house in my pajamas.

I want rock-and-roll that shakes the pictures off my walls.

I want a Vivaldi adagio playing softly in the next room.

I want to climb mountains and run the rapids.

I want to take the convertible to a bed-and-breakfast.

I want to run for office and change the world.

I want to never read a newspaper again.

I want to read People magazine.

I want to read War and Peace.

I want to visit Spain and Tahiti and the Grand Canyon.

I want to throw away my suitcases for good.

I want to wear designer clothes and emerald earrings.

I want to live in sweatshirts and raggedy jeans.

I want to wear miniskirts and bikinis and have blond hair and be young forever.

I want to grow old gracefully, with delicate white hair and lovely laugh lines and eyes of wisdom.

Vanessa Redgrave

Vanessa Redgrave, ageless at 76.

70 Comments

  1. You are an amazing writer! In all these short one liners resides a total you in a series of contradictions we all find within ourselves. Like I said, “You are an amazing writer.”

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    • Thank you so much. Among my most sincere “wants” is to write something that moves people. So thank you.

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  2. I love her. Brilliant actress. Lovely woman.

    I want those things, too. That’s why I bought a lottery ticket.

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    • I want to win the lottery. I want to stop throwing my money away.

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  3. beautifully written

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  4. Reblogged this on On the Homefront and commented:
    love the juxtaposition of the wants…………

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  5. So, the great art of living would be to somehow balance all those wants and needs… some of them might even be satisfied if only dreamed about.

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    • Or in stories. We can write ourselves alternative lives.

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      • oh yes, to give words to those dream worlds amkes them even more satisfying- not everything has to be experienced in realiter. Nice!

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  6. Kate is

    I wish all women would be happy to age as gracefully and that the world would allow them to be confident to do so.
    Beautiful, thank you.

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    • I truly want to stop fearing old age. I hope I can.

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      • I’m finding that I’m fascinated looking at the wrinkly skin on my arms — it’s sort of like some sort of badge — I know it’s me but it looks like someone else — and I don’t know who that someone else is —

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        • It’s that weird hang-y-down thing under my neck that worries me.

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  7. Chris

    And..Passionate kisses. Mary Chapin Carpenter

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    • One of my all-time favorites. I want someone to sing it at my funeral.

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  8. Loved this post. This aging thing can be scary … I’d love to do it gracefully!

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    • I don’t know whether to do it gracefully or fight it all the way.

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  9. I love the contradictions and why not? A woman can change her mind anytime she wants. Right? And about the aging…no point in worrying about it as it’s going to happen whether you worry or not.
    I always enjoy reading your posts, Nancy. Wonderfully written.

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  10. She does set the bar pretty high. I was commenting on how elegant she is just the other day.
    You do deserve all of the above.
    Me too.

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  11. I love this. And yes–by all means—you should have all of this and more. Have a great day!

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    • Thanks…If only I could decide what it is I want… or perhaps if I could live parallel lives….

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  12. gabi138

    How great to see someone who can articulate the contradictions we all have. You always sound real but this makes you sound even more real (or just like me). PS don’t even think about growing old gracefully. Growing old disgracefully is the only way to go…

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  13. Your words reflect my thoughts some days – I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up! As I am growing older (am I already old?) I see less time left so I want to do it all but there are choices. As a crone I admire women who grow old gracefully and Redgrave is one. Excellent post!

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    • Everything sounds so good to me. I could never make up my mind. Even back in college, when someone asked my parents what I was majoring in, they answered, “Transferring.”

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  14. So glad to have found your blog. I’m 62, my husband’s 75 and we’re both about to complete our the manuscripts for our first novels. We’re working hard, playing hard, dreaming new dreams all the time. Good stuff.

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    • I have a manuscript too! It is waiting patiently for me to start a second draft. How I want to do that… but I want to just fool around with little posts on my blog, too.

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      • I so understand. The blog is a love affair I can’t quite leave.

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        • It’s the instant gratification for me. Novel writing is a lonely, private business, and you never really know how you are doing. You write a blog post, and instantly someone gives you feedback. As you say, it’s a love affair.

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          • That’s it. Exactly.My current blog is new, but I wrote Switched at Birth (blog, not TV show, sadly) for a decade; have just archived it, but missed it so much, just had to make a new one . . .Oh — almost forgot — I’ve started a community page on Facebook called (ta da) Old Writers at Work, Not sure it’s ready for prime time yet, but the idea is to be a supportive space for writers +50.

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          • I’ll check out your FB page… us old writers have to stick together.

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          • Sure am glad “old” ain’t what it used to be! 🙂

            Re the FB page, all suggestions welcome. I’m still trying to figure out the FB nomenclature. & whether this should be a community page or a group.

            Time for ice cream and reading. Take care.

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  15. As usual, beautifully written.

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    • Thanks, Monica. It seems now that I am not alone in conflicting desires.

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  16. I have a deep-seated belief that we all begged Heaven not to let us come to Earth, and now we’re begging Earth not to let us leave. There’s a contradiction for you. Great post, as usual.

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    • That’s an interesting concept. I hope we get to come back too, so we can try something new.

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  17. Wonderful….

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  18. Love your list! Good to know I’m not the only one who likes extremes and can’t quite make up my mind! Funny, fun, and reassuring all at once! Hope you get all your wishes fulfilled! ~ Sheila

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    • I have always been interested in too many things. I envy the person who has an obsession. How nice to be able to concentrate on just one thing!

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  19. I want every single one of those things for you. Thank you for sharing them.

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    • I forgot ballroom dance lessons. I want that too.

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  20. Marcie

    Nancy – you outdid yourself here. I want…we want – it’s the ying/yang…the push/pull…all that life is made of. So true!!!

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    • Too many choices. That’s the joy and anguish of life.

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  21. Oh… love this. Often I think how many lives I would need in order to experience all the things I want to do, to develop all the facets of my own personality, to know better the world and myself. I can see I am not alone.

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    • That’s I am hoping that reincarnation is real.

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  22. mo

    me too!

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  23. Brenda

    I want to finally decide what it is that I want – and stick with it!

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  24. Let the Games Begin!

    Hey, these can be done sequentially! Although the body has aged over the years, part of me will always be that 4 year girl eating a sun warmed strawberry on my grandparents’ back steps. .

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  25. And why not!
    Here’s part of my plans
    I want the silver hair tied in a ponytail while climbing Colorado mountains
    And in the afternoon, a hot tub on a deck as the sun sets over the mountains and then walk to town for a lovely dinner that I don’t have to clean up after with coffee on a deck beside the river.
    (and already I’ve told my daughter to strap me on a horse to get me up the mountain – and a Segway will do for afternoons.)

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    • And no bugs – not on the mountain, not near the river, not on the deck, not by the hot tub. Perfect.

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  26. Lovely! I want all those things for you.

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  27. Al

    So far, the only things I could check off are the pizza delivery and the peanut butter and jelly with chips. How am I doing?

    P.S. I’ll save the emerald earrings and bikini and mini-skirt for the day before I die.

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    • I could wear them to your funeral, if you’d prefer.

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  28. Al

    I’d die a happy man.

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  29. You should have this. All of this. And I should, too! Love this post.

    P.S.
    Our wish lists have about a 98% overlap.

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    • Maybe we’d get it done if you take half and I take half.

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  30. Let’s put “I want an executive position with board meetings and stock options” on your list though. I want to wear fuzzy clothes all morning and write a novel that makes people laugh and cry and think about it for weeks. Okay? LOL

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    • On second thought, I will take the stock options but not the board meetings.

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      • Wise choice. You can clip coupons in your fuzzy clothes!

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  31. Don’t we all!

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Trackbacks

  1. 6:34 am. And Inspired. – Lead.Learn.Live.

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