My email and snail mail are full of birthday cards – all from vendors trying to get me to shop for my birthday. Which isn’t difficult to do, but I do appreciate the discounts.
Most appropriate for my birthday is a catalog I received for the first time this week. I’m not sure how I got on the Harriet Carter list, but I am blaming my husband. He just enrolled in Medicare. So – oh boy – here’s another crotchety old couple who need crotchety old stuff.
Yes, there exists all kinds of stuff to help me into old age.
Although I was just agonizing over whether platform spike heels would be too agonizing, Harriet thinks this would probably be more appropriate:
I admit that I do have a smallish bunion (let me insist please that it is not age-related). Perhaps a bunion regulator might work with just the right stiletto.
For a lot of folks my age, the aches and pains are a little higher than the big toe. So Harriet Carter has also suggested that I think about a more comfortable chair cushion, like this one:
I’m thinking I could put this in my nice mid-life-crisis convertible. I could still feel young (right?) while making my oldish ass a bit more comfy.
And with the new puffy scarves that are so chic right now, no one will even know that underneath, my old neck is cozily supported:
Talk about good timing! I just posted about stray eyebrow hairs. I see from Harriet Carter that it is only a short time away before they have strayed all the way down to my upper lip. I never realized that old ladies with mustaches are just victims of VERY stray eyebrow hairs. But Harriet has a fix:
According to the description, this ‘painless’ spring action fits discreetly in your purse. That’s a relief – if a hair sprouts out at work, I can just whip out my spring and zap it.
Most important in the world of the crotchety is bathroom assistance. And Harriet has plenty of it.
I offer these practical products without comment. They truly speak for themselves:
I figure I will need all three by the end of the year.