A few days ago, I asked for your interpretive suggestions for my cryptic note, “Lizzie Borden Mugshot”.
You certainly had some creative ideas – none of which reminded me of what I meant when I wrote those words. It appears I have permanent Lizzie amnesia.
However, you did prove to me that you all know me very well, since most of you thought that I must have wanted to write about hair, makeup, or fashion.
And the very best of your ideas is truly inspirational. It’s “Bring Back The Bun” by DefiningMotherhood. DM wins the Lizzie Grand Prize – which is a link and a reprint. (Not much, I know, so please at least give her a click.)
Bring Back The Bun
Lizzie Borden took an axe
And gave her mother forty whacks
When she saw what she had done
She gave her father forty one
I can’t help but think of her today
As I try to put my hair away
On top my head in a basic bun
Just think of all I could get done
I could grocery shop and mop my floor
Remove sticky fingerprints from the door
I could tackle the growing laundry pile
Put on my sneakers and jog a mile
When I finish all I need to get done
My hair will still be in that trusty bun
Just look at the pictures of Lizzie Borden’s face
She killed her parents without a hair out of place
Oh, this is SO ME!
Although I don’t know what I meant, I sure know how I FEEL.
This is her actual mugshot.
Lizzie wasn’t arrested right after the murders. It’s not like she was brought in covered in blood and foaming at the mouth. But still…
And yet, as I researched various websites to try to understand why I wrote that note, everyone writing about her seems to find her homely. Or at best, plain.
But this is a MUGSHOT!
Taken in August 1892.
August. No air conditioning.
When I took my last self-portrait, I added a super volumizer to my hair, applied two coats of makeup, and changed my clothes three times. then I took about sixty frames under all kinds of different lighting and exposures. And I found one decent picture.
Lizzie got one take with a police photographer with an 1892 camera. With no makeup, no hairstylist, and a high collar and a corset on a summer day. She’s wearing more underneath her dress than you wear to shovel snow in February.
If you think she’s homely, please open your wallet and take a gander at your driver’s license photo.
I rest Lizzie’s case.