notquiteold

Nancy Roman

Do These Yoga Pants Make My Asana Look Fat?

I’ve added another Zumba class to my Yoga/Zumba workout.

Which means I’ve also added an additional sweaty day.

So I figure it’s time for buy another fitness outfit. I won’t have to do laundry during the week.

And besides, it’s very motivating. Sometimes the only reason I go to the gym is because I get to put on my tight lycra pants.

So I started perusing various web sites to find a cool ensemble.

Most Yoga sites offer clothes that look like this:

This is pretty much what I wear to both Zumba and Yoga.  This woman is doing Trikonasana (Triangle), one of my favorite poses.

But I already have black capri leggings and a blue top.

I need something more creative.

Maybe even a little sexy. Zumba has a lot of hip action, after all.

Sexy is a precarious place when you’re sixty-one. Spaghetti straps maybe.  Or a racer-back. Lycra shorts instead of crops.

And sure enough, I found something just slightly more provocative.

This is how Victoria’s Secret presents Yoga clothes:

Hip-Peekie Asana

Tube-Top Asana

Six-Pack Asana

Oh, yeah.

I’m so ready for Hoochie Yoga.

26 Comments

  1. The last photo sums it up for moi! Thanks for another laugh. You are a master.
    Léa

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  2. I don’t do yoga or zumba, but even I know that a tube top is just not going to work for either one!

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  3. Love the models and their skimpy offerings but I’m totally taken with the hand sketch. You are a hoot!

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  4. Perhaps the tube top would work for pre-pubescent girls with AA! I wear Lycra (under my sweats). Victoria forgot my size! But having recently been told I can slowly work my way back to the gym, I am considering the need for new gym cover-ups, two sports bras (one for each side) and very loose pants (I don’t want to frighten small children or gym rats).

    As always your art work reminds us to laugh at ourselves. Thank you.

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  5. Michelle Gillies

    I have never been able to take to any kind of yoga…perhaps it is the costume choices. 😉

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  6. You’ve cracked me up again. I love your illustration – a breath of fresh truth-in-advertising.

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  7. I am with you on exercising sometimes just for the stretch pants. My favorite are the ones that are really high waisted, so they help ‘flatten’ (and I use that term loosely) my stomach. Oh yeah. Sexy-licious.

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  8. Wait. Lycra is for the GYM? I guess I need a new church outfit. Oops.

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  9. Love it! I plan to reference this in a post I’m working on. Your illustration is priceless.

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  10. Your pictures are PERFECT! I keep looking at the last one and laughing–with you, not at you, I promise.

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  11. I looove your illustration! They don’t sell Victoria’s Secret yoga wear to you unless you sign a contract with them promising that when you wear it you will: pout, stand like a toddler, or tug at it suggestively. Great post! I found you through Anne at The Fump Factor.

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    • I can pout, but at my age, it just makes me look constipated. And when I tug, well…folks wonder about hemorrhoids.

      Like

  12. Okay, the last picture is me–just color you chocolate and draw in bigger boobs! I hate these outfits. I now buy them but throw and oversized man’s t-shirt on top. Then I close my mind and iimagine that I look like your first model. Voila1

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    • I think I will have to do a post where I can draw in bigger boobs. It would give me joy.

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  13. oh my. that last picture had me rolling. in my mind i look sleek and “tightly strapped in” (my fat, not my boobs – which are non-existant) when i am running or working out, but i know to others i look a lot like your last picture.

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  14. I love to slowly scroll down your posts, savoring every word – and knowing that there is a wonderful illustration at the end that will make me smile!

    Like

  15. Oh, this made me giggle! Thanks 🙂

    Like

  16. Dor

    I truly love your fun-funny approach to things and the illustrations at the end! This one takes the cake. Congrats on doing Zumba AND Yoga MightyWoman! I tried Zumba once but the jiggling was embarrassing even with long, loose, baggy T-shirt and long, loose, baggy pants. Victoria Secret? Are you kidding?

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  17. hoochie yoga.
    love it!

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  18. I LOVE yoga and I loved this post!!!

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  19. midlifemeg

    I love you.

    Like

  20. Two sources for help — Athleta and Title Nine, both of which sell online and through catalogs. Their workout clothes are gorgeous and durable. I’ve been wearing some Nike leggings for many years. Even Gap has some great-looking workout clothes.

    Like

Trackbacks

  1. A sports bra of one’s own | The Frump Factor

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