notquiteold

Nancy Roman

It’s My Own Stupid Fault

I complained with vigor two weeks ago that men can’t find anything.  (“Where’s My Hat?” Asked Waldo)

Almost everyone agreed that it’s true. Men have no “looking” skills. But now I must confess – that at least in my case – it’s my own fault. I have created my own unseeing monster.

I married when I was forty.  Up until I met my husband, I had never even had a relationship that lasted longer than a few months.

I was actually pretty happy being single, and it was quite an adjustment for me to not be single. Mainly because he was ALWAYS around. I waited for him to go home at night. I had to remind myself that he was home. I thought seriously about taking a second secret apartment for some alone time.

Then a weird – weird and good – thing happened. After about five months, I started to LIKE having him around. I began to look forward to coming home at the end of the day and having someone glad to see me. And I was glad to see him.  Weird, huh?

And I started to get into the whole domestic scene. I started to bake. I kept my house clean. I bought pretty sheets.  (I warned you that it got weird.)

It was very nice after all those long, busy traveling-woman-executive-years to enjoy the traditional homemaker role.

I liked having someone to take care of.

So I took care of my husband.  And without any children, I continue to take care of him.  And mostly I like it. But I’m afraid he likes it too.

It’s been twenty years now, but only recently did my (and his) complete transformation really hit me.

One evening, getting ready for bed, I dried my face with a handtowel that was all full of scratchy little beard hairs.

“Yuck,” I said.  “What’s this?”

“Oh. I’m sorry,” he said.  “I trimmed my beard and used your towel to wipe the sink.  I forgot about it.”

Now I am a very nice wife.  Really.  A saint.  Really.  Because I said,

“That’s all right.  I’m glad you cleaned up. But next time, after you wipe the sink, throw the towel in the wash and take out a clean one.”

He said, “Okay.”

Then there was a long questioning pause. And here’s where I knew I had only myself to blame.

He said, “Where do you keep the towels?”

The linen closet that he built.

27 Comments

  1. I waited for that punch line at the end..and then had a good chuckle. Lucky husband to be so well ‘taken-care-of’!!!
    🙂

    Like

  2. LOL Yep—every once in awhile I have to take Chris on a tour and introduce him to Mr. Dishwasher, Mrs. Hamper and Ms. Dishcloth. Totally with you. I have also created somewhat of a monster–albeit a wonderful monster!!! However—my husband did not build those things like your husband built the linen closet so I guess you get the prize!!! 🙂

    Like

  3. Too funny! Yes, I think you’ve taken very good care of him!

    Like

  4. bigsheepcommunications

    “Where do we keep the….” Yep, hear it all the time!

    Like

  5. This is so funny and so right on! None of the men in my house can “find” anything. Pretty sure it’s hereditery. When they look in the fridge or the cupboard if the item is not in the first 4-6 inches of the front it is invisible to them. However, this makes it very easy to hide things from them! Love your blog posts–I am a follower now!

    Like

  6. I know it’s coming when he asks “Can I ask a silly question?” At least he prefaces it to give me warning of what’s coming. Sigh…

    Like

    • You’re very lucky – most men don’t even know it’s silly.

      Like

  7. My husband doesn’t know where anything is so he goes and buys more which he will not remember the next time he needs it! He also does dishes (very good) but he puts stuff away in the dumbest places!

    Like

  8. You made me laugh again. I always liked living alone, too, and I completely understand the adjustment period. Fortunately, my current husband is fine with giving me alone time, but my first husband was always… around. I kept having to suppress the urge to say, “Don’t you have anything to *do*?”

    Like

  9. Great post–loved the punch line at the end because I just knew it was coming! And it’s even funnier because your hubby built the linen cupboard…maybe you should take him on a tour of the house one day soon…lol

    Like

  10. We were getting ready to go to the beach a few weeks ago when my hubs asked where we kept the beach towels…..Ah. In the same place they’ve been for the EIGHT YEARS we’ve lived in the house. I thought about backing over him with the van.

    Like

    • I laughed so hard at your comment psycho–I was in my car waiting for my son so I’m sure I looked like a lunatic!

      Like

  11. You’re a good wife. A better one since you did not become an ax-murderer when he asked. At least I’m assuming …

    Like

  12. I’m afraid I have to admit that your husband’s and yours are switched when it comes to me and my husband. I’m the one saying, “Where?” He cleans up after me. He’s such a good husband. And I’m a lovable wife.

    Like

  13. Laughing so hard.

    Like

  14. HAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Been there, done that, bought the tee-shirt, girlfriend.)

    Like

  15. But that’s a LINEN closet! He wanted to know where the TERRY closet is! You never asked him to build one of those. . .

    Like

    • Of course! That MUST be the answer. I am thinking about sticking post-it notes … you know; “towels here”, “Socks in top drawer”

      Like

  16. Perfect in every way–from the way you wrote the story to the story itself. And you are a saint!

    Like

  17. My favorite part, ‘he was ALWAYS around’. I love my husband. He is the best thing in my life but sometimes I need to be alone. Loved the post! Ha!

    Like

  18. Nice, you had me from the beginning.

    DS

    Like

  19. I have always put my husband’s socks in the second drawer of his dresser. After about five years of marriage and 1,825 times him asking, “Where are my socks?”, I finally replied, “I don’t know.” He found them and never asked again.

    Like

    • THAT’S hilarious!!

      Like

    • I am having the best time reading this blog and the comments–so happy I discovered it last night!

      Like

      • Thanks… I’m glad that it’s fun. I love the dialog that follows my posts too!

        Like

  20. So sweet of a story…..

    Like

  21. Ha ha ha. That’s really funny. I haven’t had one around for a while but I know what it’s like. Good punchline too.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: