It’s My Own Stupid Fault
I complained with vigor two weeks ago that men can’t find anything. (“Where’s My Hat?” Asked Waldo)
Almost everyone agreed that it’s true. Men have no “looking” skills. But now I must confess – that at least in my case – it’s my own fault. I have created my own unseeing monster.
I married when I was forty. Up until I met my husband, I had never even had a relationship that lasted longer than a few months.
I was actually pretty happy being single, and it was quite an adjustment for me to not be single. Mainly because he was ALWAYS around. I waited for him to go home at night. I had to remind myself that he was home. I thought seriously about taking a second secret apartment for some alone time.
Then a weird – weird and good – thing happened. After about five months, I started to LIKE having him around. I began to look forward to coming home at the end of the day and having someone glad to see me. And I was glad to see him. Weird, huh?
And I started to get into the whole domestic scene. I started to bake. I kept my house clean. I bought pretty sheets. (I warned you that it got weird.)
It was very nice after all those long, busy traveling-woman-executive-years to enjoy the traditional homemaker role.
I liked having someone to take care of.
So I took care of my husband. And without any children, I continue to take care of him. And mostly I like it. But I’m afraid he likes it too.
It’s been twenty years now, but only recently did my (and his) complete transformation really hit me.
One evening, getting ready for bed, I dried my face with a handtowel that was all full of scratchy little beard hairs.
“Yuck,” I said. “What’s this?”
“Oh. I’m sorry,” he said. “I trimmed my beard and used your towel to wipe the sink. I forgot about it.”
Now I am a very nice wife. Really. A saint. Really. Because I said,
“That’s all right. I’m glad you cleaned up. But next time, after you wipe the sink, throw the towel in the wash and take out a clean one.”
He said, “Okay.”
Then there was a long questioning pause. And here’s where I knew I had only myself to blame.
He said, “Where do you keep the towels?”