notquiteold

Nancy Roman

Mom: All Attitude

When people talk about “Attitude.” they are usually referring to a bad one.

I know what that means. I was told often enough that I had a “Bad Attitude.” Usually by a boss because I showed a lack of tolerance for a stupid decision. But that was early in my career, and it was quite true. But I learned. I learned that I couldn’t make every decision for my company, and even decisions that I disagreed with may actually work out. And I learned that my co-workers were mostly just like me, trying to pay their bills and make it through the week. So I kept my bad attitude for big stuff – immoral or unfair behavior – both at work and in my personal life. Which meant that, overwhelmingly, my attitude was tolerant and happy. My attitude was kind.

And so I became my mother.

I cannot be more fortunate.

My mother is all ATTITUDE.  The good kind.

There is not sufficient room in one blog to discuss all the ways my mother’s attitude is outstanding. For instance, she doesn’t complain about her health – even though she’s got issues with her 93-year-old body. She enjoys her life – and accepts with good humor her limitations.

And she looks for the best in people. She doesn’t gossip. She doesn’t gloat over other peoples’ failings.

I could continue for thousands of words on all the ways Mom’s attitude inspires me.

But here’s just one of they ways:

Money.

Mom was reminiscing recently and she said, “We had so much fun when you kids were little!” And we did. But we didn’t have many vacations; we didn’t travel the world; we didn’t eat out. We went to the park. We went skating in winter and swimming in summer. We played in the yard. We went to the library. We spent time with our cousins.

We had so much fun.

And Mom searched the sofa cushions for dimes so we could have an ice cream cone.

We didn’t have much money when I was a kid. I’m sure my father and mother worried about it a lot. But complain about it? NEVER.

They made the best of it when they had no money, and they appreciated it when they had some.

My mother’s attitude never changed. She always believed (and still does) that being happy has very little to do with how much money you have.

She’s as happy with a hot dog as with filet mignon.

We went to the movies any time she could scrounge up enough change. We played cards when she didn’t.

We laughed a lot either way.

And we still do.

The only regret I ever heard her make about money is this:

My parents had three girls in a row (I am the youngest of the three), and then several years later, my little brother.

When us girls were young, and Mom and Dad would take us to the ice cream parlor, we would ask, “What can I have?”

And Mom would always say to each of us, “You can have a small cone – one scoop.”

And we were delighted to have an ice cream cone of whatever flavor we wanted. What a great treat!

When my brother was growing up, finances had improved for Mom and Dad. Which was a good thing, because my parents wanted us all to go to college, and we did.

But my mother has told me this story more than once… so it weighs on her, I think –

When my brother was still a kid, but us girls were already on our own, my parents would go to the ice cream parlor with just my brother.

And he would ask, “What can I have?”

And Mom would say, “Anything you want.”

And my sweet mother always ends this story by saying, “I still feel bad that I never really had a chance to say that to you.”

 

momlaughing4-5-15rev

 

 

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom

I still love a single scoop.

 

 

 

29 Comments

  1. What a sweet post. Your mother sounds amazing. I’m also lucky to have a mother with a good attitude. Happy Mother’s Day!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Her attitude throughout our lives has never changed and has been the best possible example for me.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Love the picture! Your posts always strike a chord within me. I wish your mother a wonderful Mother’s Day!

    Like

    • Thanks… and I bought her perfume – at 93, she’s still a girly girl just like me.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Beautiful. And relatable. (I still love a single scoop too.)

    PS: Re-blogged at Resilience101.com 🙂

    Like

    • A single scoop is the way I remember ice cream. I don’t need a sundae.
      (And thanks for the re-blog)

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Reblogged this on Resilience 101 and commented:
    I think a lot about my mother, and what an excellent role-model she is, in her humble and unassuming way. She is the epitome of resilience, taking whatever life throws at her and turning it into good – always for the greater good of others.
    After the deaths of her husbands (yes, two of them), she worked so hard to make sure we never felt poor or neglected in any way. And her generosity has always extraordinary, even though we never measured anything in terms of cash or material possessions: Whatever little she earned throughout her life has always been used to make others lives easier, but the thing she made sure she had in abundance, and that she made sure she shared abundantly, was her time. Her time has always been for us.
    Even now, at 70 years old, she is full-time carer of her own mother, and any days that she is relieved are spent caring for grandchildren or visiting her 99 year old ex-mother-in-law to ensure she has company at the nursing home.
    My mother is a Good Person. The best I can be, as a person, is more like her.
    Nancy Roman’s beautiful description of her own mother reminds me of why a single scoop of icecream tastes like love.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I love your description – “The best I can be, as a person, is more like her.” That is exactly how I feel, and you have expressed it so well!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I like your article, very inspiring and thank you for your post

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m so blessed with your post. And I’m so blessed to have a mother. Mom is a super woman in the world 🙂 have a nice weekend.

    Like

    • Thanks for your kind words. A good mom is the best blessing anyone can have.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes you are absolutely right 🙂
        I also wish that i can be like you super mom for my daughter. have a nice day my friend.

        Like

  7. Beautiful story ❤️ your mother sounds like the sweetest, most generous person. You’re very lucky to have such an amazing mother.

    Like

    • I am extraordinarily lucky. She is the love of my life. (sorry, Hubby, but it’s true….)

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Reblogged this on World4Justice : NOW! Lobby Forum..

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Your upbringing sounds very much like mine: I was the 4th of 5 children – a boy and girl, then , a 7 year gap before my sister and I, followed by another 5 year gap and another boy – when Mom was 40 years old; we didn’t have much money and looking for coins under the sofa cushions (especially after company had left) was a regular thing (so was digging in Mom’s coat pockets for ‘spare change’); what we could ‘buy’ in the candy or ice cream store was always based on the ‘ten cent rule’ (‘whatever can get for a dime’, Mom would say). We didn’t ‘do’ vacations or pine for things we couldn’t afford; it was just a way of life. Like your story, finances had improved somewhat by the time my ‘little brother’ arrived, and he generally ‘had more’ than the rest of us did growing up. Mom’s big regret, however, wasn’t related to money – it was that by the time he came along (he wasn’t exactly ‘planned’), she was ‘too old’ to give him a little brother or sister (Mom always felt kids should come in twos, so that each child had a ‘built in’ playmate). I loved your story; you’re so blessed to still have your mother (mine passed, at 94, in 2012). Enjoy your Mother’s Day with her.

    Like

    • My parents taught us to always ask, “what can I have?” when we went out for ice cream – or for that very rare restaurant meal. And even for Christmas and birthday presents, now that I think of it. It’s not a bad thing to teach your kids.

      Like

      • When were were kids, we were allowed to ask Santa Claus for ONE THING. I followed that rule with my own kids (while their friends mailed off lists of a dozen or more toys). The ‘Santa’ we took the boys to see (in the small town where my parents lived at the time) was always surprised when they only asked for one thing. The idea that kids can have whatever they want, whenever they want, has spoiled the younger generation to the point where many of them are carrying outrageous levels of debt because they believe they’re entitled to have whatever they want, instead of just what they need!

        Like

  10. Maybe it was the times. We never traveled either. Once I was on a day long bus trip to Atlantic City for the beach but I don’t remember any other. We had an ice cream truck come around every day and I got a dime to get whatever a dime would buy. There were no organized sports. The neighborhood kids just played whatever or rode bike. We didn’t grow up with expectations. My Mom was great. For my high school graduation, she bought me much wanted contact lenses (rather than the traditional luggage I wouldn’t use). I’m sure it set her back some as my Dad had passed away some years before and she was the only earner. When I worked I tried to repay by taking her out to dinner and buying her the flowery house dresses she loved to wear. She’s gone since ’86 but I miss her still. I get nostalgic when I see flowery patterns.

    Like

    • I love your memories. I can just imagine the flowery house dresses.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Lovely post…and happy mother’s day!!!

    Like

    • Thanks for your kind words. Happy Mother’s Day to you too. I am not a mother but I can still appreciate mine. And I will say too that I appreciated my mother-in-law as well and I miss her feisty self.

      Like

  12. What a lovely lady your Mother is. Sadly I lost my Mother when she was only 58 to breast cancer, but I still have my Dad who is also 93 years young and still enjoying his life, grateful for his good health, friends and family. Thanks to him I have never feared old age as he presents such a positive picture of growing older and I can only hope I have inherited his genes.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Love, just love this! And I adore that photo of your Mom!

    My Mom passed last summer ~ and I miss her so ~ she was feisty and thankful, polite yet firm, a Church goer yet a Horseracing fan, she loved her sports and stats, and didn’t suffer fools easily……. Gems like that come around only once every while.

    Lucky are we!
    MJ

    Like

  14. It was beautiful Post and I love your mother. Happy Belated Mothers Day !

    Like

  15. Nancy, your mum is and was a wise woman, having boundaries is a good thing. Learning to be happy with one scoop of anything, sets us up to have a great life…having anything you want is fine but what happens when it goes outside your reach?

    Many parents are caught up in the pressures of social media, consumerism, materialism and they don’t realise how much damage they are doing to their children.

    Like

Trackbacks

  1. Mom: All Attitude – Resilience 101
  2. Mom: All Attitude – Kerri O'Donnell

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