notquiteold

Nancy Roman

Complaint Department

I borrowed my mother’s car this week, so my husband could work on our SUV. I’ve been driving the little convertible, but it’s winter, and Hubby doesn’t want to risk the convertible. It’s OK to risk my mother’s car.

She’s 92. She doesn’t drive much. She had my sister drive her to the DMV to renew her license. But she likes having that car in the driveway. She likes being an independent woman. She could drive if she WANTED to. That’s important – even when your hairdresser stops by and picks you up for your appointment. (I love my mother’s hairdresser.)

I don’t like to deny Mom that autonomy. Besides, it is embarrassing to have to borrow a car from your 92-year-old mother.

It’s also a little mortifying (can you be just a little mortified, or is it all or nothing?)  to LIKE her car. I mentioned to a friend that I was a bit embarrassed, and she said, “Oh, your mom is in her nineties? Is it a Buick?”

And holy shit!  It is!!!!

And I like it. A very smooth ride and steers with your pinkie finger.

But there are no seat-heaters.

I hate that.

I complained.

Well, not to Mom, but on Facebook.

Facebook = The Complaint Department of the First World.

And a friend immediately wrote that she too had her parents’ car – they were in Florida for the winter and their car is better in the snow than hers. But with their car, she has to turn the headlights on and off. HERSELF.

I mean, really.

Does Life have be so hard?

I’m having a rotten week.

Why just the other day, I went to take the twelve thousandth photo of my dog, and I got video instead.

And this was right after my TV remote wouldn’t work, and I had to change the batteries. And I had to FIND the batteries.

And I tore a contact lens while putting it in – which I NEVER do – and I now I have 77 days of lenses for my left eye and 76 days for my right eye.

And I went to the coffee bar and they gave me my Cappuccino in a paper cup, when I clearly wanted to drink it there.

And there was a sale on bananas, so my husband bought 3 bunches, and now they are getting black and I don’t feel like making bread.

And I paid $3.95 for a movie on Pay-Per-View, and the dog had to go peepee right in the middle, and I missed 7 minutes while he dicked around trying to find just the right spot.

And I wanted to wear my lavender penny loafers on Wednesday, but it was raining and they’re suede.

AND someone stood in MY spot at Zumba.

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45 Comments

  1. I know there are no “spots” in yoga class– but I totally have a spot in yoga, and it bums me out utterly when someone else is in it. Happy Sunday!

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    • I have MY spot, and I cannot follow the teacher from any other spot in the room.

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      • I like the front right corner of the hot room, under the blower. I even have an OCD board I line my mat up with. Am definitely weirdo.

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  2. Totally get the spot preference. When I was in Bar Method, if someone took my spot, I didn’t perform as well … at least that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Great post, as is always the case.

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    • I once got to class late and had to stand on the left side of the room, and I was totally confused.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Definitely first world problems. Ha! The annoyances of modern day life.

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    • I heard these kinds of problems referred to as “White Whines” – oh yes, they definitely are.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Bonnie

    you can’t stop pay per view? Sorry if that is a dumb question – I have never done Pay Per View. We usually stream, or watch things saved on DVR

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    • You probably can, but I don’t know how.

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  5. So sorry about your rough week! Mine was a little better but someone got MY parking spot at the grocery store! May next week be better for you.

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    • I don’t have a spot at the grocery store, but I certainly do at work… not to mention my spot at the conference table for the weekly staff meeting. No one better sit there.

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  6. Really tough week. I didn’t win the lottery and I’m inconsolable.

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    • Well, that’s totally unfair. You bought a ticket. You should have won. I did not buy a ticket, but my mother did, and I am planning to be a very good daughter.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Never mind. At least you didn’t embarrass yourself like I did when I changed cars and couldn’t find the switch for the car aerial, so rang up the dealer to be told ‘You push it Madam’.

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  8. Ray G

    Sometimes, life is just a b**ch. If it ain’t one thing, it’s another.

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    • Susan

      Just what I was thinking……

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    • And everyone thinks my life is so easy… but it’s just one horrible thing after another.

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  9. Peel the bananas and throw them in a Ziploc bag. Put in the freezer. Make banana bread when you feel like it….they defrost quickly or 30 seconds in the microwave will get them mashable again.

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    • That’s a great idea…. or I can tell my husband to bake his own goddamn bread.

      Liked by 1 person

      • That’s an even better idea. If he balks…you can tell him about the Ziploc bags so he can bake at his leisure.

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  10. When we hear about these sorts of things happening to other people, we tend to snicker about them; when they happen to us, we’re outraged. Why is life so unfair? 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • Life is terribly unfair. These events are just tragic. Just tragic.

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  11. Life suck sometimes doesn’t it. My mom’s hairdresser comes to her house now. One day……

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    • My mother’s salon is two block from her house. So her hairdresser comes and picks her up and brings her home.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Life without seat heaters is just not worth living. 😉

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    • And just imagine the hardship if you didn’t have seat heaters AND you had to shut off the headlights by yourself!

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Wow. In your spot. I hope she was properly ashamed.

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  14. Love your humor. My mom is 92 and bought a new car last year. I wasn’t a buick. . . just saying.

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  15. Life is hell, isn’t it? And yet we soldier on. Thank god we’re tough…

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  16. Dana

    My mom had a Buick Century! And before that a Buick Skylark! What is is about moms and Buicks?

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    • I think the connection is between old people and Buicks. I am am joining the OLD crowd

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  17. Reblogged this on ugiridharaprasad.

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  18. Our son drove his grandmothers inherited car – a Buick – for 4 years. And he was mortified! Hey, he had wheels I told him. And I was happy because it was a safe heavy car. We just traded it in on a new car for me, so he now has my new-to-him Corolla. He’s happy and I now have heated seats! How did I last so long in Florida without heated seats? 😉 hope next week is better for you! ~Elle

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  19. No heat seaters? What are we animals? The other day I had too many groceries and had to make two trips back to my car! I almost broke down, but somehow soldiered on.

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    • Taking that extra walk to the car just shows how much you suffer for the sake of your family. It’s incredible.You are my hero.

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  20. Was I supposed to burst into giggles on this one? Sorry for the terrible week, no really I am.

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    • Thank you for your sincere sympathy. Yes, my life is SO hard!

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  21. Yes I can relate to the Yoga spot. I have one spot in the center and I have to show up 15 minutes before class just to get the spot. In fact if I’m running late and I know I won’t get my spot–I just opt out of yoga all together.

    Like

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