I’m Going Small
In 2012, my New Year’s Resolutions were BIG! I never realized how successful I could be just through visualization (and a creative definition of success).
So this year I thought I would tackle even bigger challenges – by selecting those teeny tiny adorably quirky habits (some – like a person I am related to by marrying him – might call… faults) that I never seem to make progress on.
My 2013 Resolutions
I’m Going SMALL.
1. I will not trim my own bangs. My hairdresser has pleaded with me to just stop by between haircuts for a little trim on the bangs. But you know, I look in the mirror and they are a hair too long (hairdresser humor) and the scissors are right here in the drawer…
I have a little trouble controlling myself around scissors. From about the time I was five years old. You can verify this with my mother.
With my unfortunate trim compulsion, I recognize that I should set realistic goals.
So I will already amend goal #1: I will not trim my own bangs more than once a week.
2. While hair-trimming is a long-standing but minor obsession, I have a new one in need of reining in (slightly). Resolved: I will not check my iPhone at a restaurant. Although I hate when other people do this, I am more discreet than those rude folk. I can check Facebook from under the table, and I am sure that my dinner companions just think I am saying Grace. My husband also hates this habit. But then again, he thinks I am saying Grace. That, or that I have bladder issues.
As an indication of my good intentions, I went to the ladies’ room on December 31 and did not take my purse. (I did take a quick glance at FB, however, when he was in the mens’ room. But it was still 2012. And he was peeing, for God’s sake. I can take a peek while he takes a leak.)
3. I will not repeat myself. My husband is slightly hard of hearing (plus he never pays attention, but we’ll save that for some other time) and so to everything I say, he says “What?” – and I say it again. After twenty-one years of marriage, this is such a habit that I find myself repeating everything I say – to everyone. “It looks like we will exceed budget by two percent. Yes, I think we will exceed budget by two percent.” “Excuse me, does this cardigan come in black? I like this cardigan – does it come in black?” And lately, I am finding that most people (except one) seem slightly annoyed by my echo. So I resolve that – except for that person I am related to by marriage – I will not repeat myself. Because, you know, some people seemed slightly annoyed.
4. I will not eat the pan drippings while cleaning up from dinner. Have you noticed that the grease in the bottom of the skillet is more delicious than the hamburger? Pans can be awkward to lick, but a big spoon can make it appear that you are scrubbing. I receive half my daily caloric intake from the bottom of the pan. But I resolve to quit. I believe a workable strategy would be to squirt the dish soap right into the skillet as soon as I have removed the hamburger. But I think instead I will have my husband do the dishes. That will work too.
5. I will take the few extra seconds it requires to make legible notes. I have very passable – even vaguely talented – drawing skills. You’d think my handwriting would be decent, if not elegant. But the truth is that I can never be bothered to take the time. This results in my husband showing up at the wrong hour or returning the wrong telephone call. Just a few weeks ago, I left him a note saying that I was going to my mother’s. He called my mother about two hours later wondering if she knew where I was. I sometimes need to rewrite post-its to my boss six times to get one that I can actually stick on her door. But what is really inexcusable is that I cannot read the brilliant blog ideas I write to myself.
6. I will use up all my makeup, lotion, hair goop, and perfume before I buy another. Because once I have a new whatever, I have no interest any more in the old whatever. It may have been the very best blush I ever had, and my absolute all-time favorite, but if I buy another that is not exactly the same shade, consistency, packaging, I need to immediately try the new one, and it becomes my new favorite, and I never look back. This is sort of like the boyfriends I had in high school.
But I can’t just throw the old whatever away. That would be wasteful. I have six foundations all with 12% left in the container. Blush compacts with just enough blush left around the corners to keep me rosy for the next 4.7 years. And a concealer is a terrible thing to waste. Those little wands alone could paint all the trim in my bathroom.
On the other hand, throwing away the old milk once in a while might be a good idea.