Nancy Roman

Not Quite Old Makeup #3

The biggest event most of us attend in any year is the Wedding.  Some years, a few other events are thrown in, like New Year’s Eve dances or class reunions. 

(Twice I went to the ESPY Awards, but I wouldn’t recommend big award ceremonies…sure it’s fun to take a limo to theatre, and see the press get excited when the limo drives up, and you step out onto the red carpet – and then the press sees that you AREN’T actually a celebrity…well, there should be a special word for that particular ego-deflation.)

Anyway, Wedding makeup should be special.  And there’s a secret to Wedding makeup.  It’s called Photography.  An event like a wedding is just one day.  Even if you are the friggin’ bride the event is ONE DAY.  The only reason anyone (except the friggin’ bride) remembers it at all is that there are photographs.

So – the trick to wedding makeup is to get made-up to suit photography, not real life.

So go ahead and pile it on.

Think of your face like that horrible wall in your first apartment – full of cracks and nail holes and lumpy spots from old masking-taped posters.  What you need is spackle.  And all those imperfections will just sort of blend in.  So put on the primer to smooth the surface, and then spackle away.  Put on your usual foundation, but somewhat thicker.  Then take a makeup sponge and blend it in really good.  Then, put another layer of foundation on.  Yes, go ahead and do it again.  Give yourself a whole new complexion that may have nothing to do with your original one.  Then apply all the rest of your makeup the same way… two coats of everything, with a good buffing in between.

Now…step away from the mirror.  Remember, you are applying your makeup two inches from the mirror.  People don’t really look at you up that close.  Even if you are getting a hug and a kiss, people are not staring at your skin.  Women are closing their eyes and barely touching you, since they wouldn’t want to ruin their own makeup. And men, well, if they are gazing intently when they embrace you, they are already thinking past your makeup application and down to your panties anyway.

So at the correct distance, look again.  You look great!  Younger, perfectly made up.  If you have one of those instant spritzers that sets your makeup forever, use that too.  If not, time for a nice dusting of powder over the whole works.  This part needs a little care though –  powder is aging.  But then again, you have filled in the creases so thoroughly it has no place to settle.

For evening weddings, and New Year’s Eve, and even the dreaded class reunion, also remember that it’s dark.  And there are cocktails.

When the albums are dragged out years later, no one remembers that at the time you appeared to have graduated from the Ronald McDonald School of Cosmetology.  They say, “Geez, she looked great!”

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