notquiteold

Nancy Roman

I Look at Clouds From Both Sides Now

An optical refractor (phoropter) in use.

Image via Wikipedia

Yesterday, I went to the ophthalmologist (gee, that’s a weird spelling, but that’s what spell-check says and I believe that little spelling-bee guy inside my laptop).

I have had this eye problem for a couple of weeks.  “Floaters,” they’re called, and lots of people have them.  But my floaters are taking over my left eye.  Not-so-little blobs are running around in there… sort of like my neighbor’s runaway sheep.

So I had it checked out.

I have “Posterior Vitreous Detachment.” As the ophthalmologist described it, the thick transparent fluid (vitreous) that fills the bulbus oculi (eyeball) has detached from the retina.  In layman’s terms, my jello has shrunk away from the sides of my bowl.

It is not dangerous, but it’s not reversible either.   The floaters happen because now my eye can see its own cellular debris.  The doctor assured me that it will become less distracting in time, simply because my brain will get used to it.

It’s not so bad; I can live with it.  Except for this:  The ophthalmologist said, “PVD is an age-related condition.  A natural part of the aging process.”

Oh, really?

Listen up, Sonnyboy.  Maybe you should get your vision checked.

Don’t you see these leg-lengthening slim stylish whiskered jeans?

And how about these fabulous chocolate pearl drop lever-back earrings?

The collagen-plumped lip gloss?

There is nothing about me that is age-related, kiddo.

Why, I even have an iPhone in my purse.

(Well, okay, I concede that I have a purse.)

27 Comments

  1. I hate when my doctors are younger than me. Yes, they may know the latest and greatest but they have a way of saying things that just make me feel like their grandmother!

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  2. bigsheepcommunications

    So sorry to hear that your jello has shrunk away from the sides of your bowl : ( In the past year, I’ve gone from just needing glasses for driving, to also needing reading classes and glasses with progressive lenses so I can see the computer. It’s getting a little ridiculous and I’m not happy about it. BTW, I’m sure you look quite fabulous in your jeans, earrings and lip gloss.

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  3. I have the same thing but in my right eye. My biggest floater is shaped like a horseshoe! My cousin’s is shaped like a sperm. Don’t know how it got up there!

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    • I have heard that some sperm are very industrious. I have a map of Massachussetts.

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    • bigsheepcommunications

      You know, I can handle the image of my eyeball filled with jello, but the idea of a sperm-shaped floater really creeps me out.

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  4. You know, I’ve heard that a natural part of the “getting your ass kicked” process is pointing out that someone else is aging. Sounds like the 12-year-old jello expert hasn’t heard that.

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  5. bkm

    I knew I was over the hill a number of years ago, when Elias was in the hospital. I remember a bunch of what-looked-to-me like teenagers came marching into his room. Then I realized, they were the pediatric residents.

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  6. You tell him! The first time some patronizing little pre-pubescent doctor began a conversation with the words, “As we get older…”, I sat there gawping in shock. It had never occurred to me that I’d hear those words so soon.

    Now I’m prepared. If it happens again, I’ll just whack him with my cane. :-/

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  7. I love your humor! You made me laugh and that’s always a good thing.

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  8. I’m glad you found out what the problem is and that it isn’t anything too serious–and think of it this way–whenever you get bored at least you can amuse yourself by following the floaters around the room and watch them dance…I do this with a couple of the ones I have and can keep myself busy for hours!
    And yes, that twirpy little doctor boy needs his mouth washed out with soap (oh wait, does that show my age?)

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  9. Oh boy, floaters. I don’t notice mine anymore. I thought they’d evacuated but my sonnyboy doc said, well…no.
    About the ‘ageing’ comment, I was really upset when my GP made a similar comment. I kind of thought because she was female, she’d be more understanding. But then again, she’s in her late 40s or early 50s. Her turns coming. Doesn’t she know that?
    Your doc really needs HIS eyes checked if he didn’t check you out before blurting out, you know, the “a” word.

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    • Actually, with regards to floaters… they CAN “settle” and so improve that way too. And Yes, their turn will come!

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  10. Any 5-year-old knows we walked with dinosaurs. The 10-year-olds know we were born before electricity. Teenagers roll their eyes at us – period. All good reasons to associate only with people older than us!

    My husband had vitreous degeneration (or vitreous detachment) that started in his 40’s after cataract surgeries. Yes, in his 40’s. Feel better now? That made him feel old!

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    • My husband also had cataracts in his 40s. What a weird thing to have in common! Did he take strong asthma medication when he was a kid?

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      • No asthma. No medical history at all, in fact. Just the luck of the draw.

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  11. Chuckles! Those young sprockets have no idea what they are talking about 😉 I can wash his mouth out with soap!

    I have very poor eye sight and see the future of floaters in my eyes. However, I will be avoiding the twirpy doctor!

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  12. It is very disturbing that they are allowing 14 year olds to practice medicine now, and that police officers are on the road at 16. I assume they are 16 only because they are driving. When and how did that happen anyway? Why didn’t I know about it sooner?

    I also had cataract surgery in my forties. I had a retinal detachment a couple of years ago. I was told that both the retinal detachment and the vitreous degeneration have been found to occur more frequently after cataract surgery. As I had the surgery relatively early, I have a longer to time to have these complications that someone who had the cataract surgery at age 70.

    Hmph!

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  13. I had shingles on my 50th birthday and the doc said – “this is a condition of the elderly”. I was 50 for God’s sake, not 80 (which doesn’t even sound all that old anymore!!) I sure wanted to smack him but needed prescriptions written first.

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    • I certainly am finding that I am not the only one who resents these know-it-all babies.

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  14. Jerk

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  15. Laughing out loud because, when I had migraine-type aura several years back, an eye doctor told me it could be due to “hormonal changes” (and then she gave me a MEANINGFUL look). I was not yet 40 at the time. Guess who switched eye doctors? (That was not the only instance in which she lacked tact).

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  16. m

    dear opthama…whoever you are. shut. it.

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  17. sarahplainnsimp

    J,M&J! All of y’all made me lmfao! I was just going to say something about the purse thing, but y’all distracted me and I think I pulled a muscle in my back. I think I have a prescription for some muscle relaxers in my BAG. I am 44, am going blinder by the day and my neck is in worse shape than most 80 year olds, but I carry a BAG. #winning!

    p.s. THANK YOU 😉

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  18. I not only have “floaters”…I’ve had them for years…I now have the beginning of cataracts! Now that is age related! But then I am older than you… a bit.

    Anyway, about the cataracts…things are a little blurry…but that’s ok because there are fewer lines and wrinkles now. Hey, if I can’t see them they aren’t there!

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  19. I hear floaters are the new look this Autumn (Fall to you!)

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  20. Thanks for stopping by my space.
    My mum also has floaters – she’s had them a few years now and has sort of got used to them. I hope they’re not too distracting.

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