Tag Archives: Humor
Slimmer In Seconds!
Thank Goodness! My first trip to the beach this year was somewhat traumatic. But my next trip is going to be perfect. Because SELF.com just sent me the most fantastic beach tips: “How To Fake Slimmer In Seconds!” And it’s so easy! 1. Break out the sparkly nail polish. Use a flesh tone though, because, …
I Missed The Train
The current heat wave reminds me of the first time I ever wanted to be a grown-up. Some kids can’t wait to grow up; but not me. I liked being a kid. I could not picture life without dolls and make-believe. Being an adult looked awful, almost as bad as being a boy – who …
Mirror, Mirror
Yesterday, I went to my mother’s for our weekly dinner together. It’s my treat, and we alternate between two of her favorite meals – McDonald’s and Subway. This time she chose McDonald’s. Not good for my diet, but certainly okay for my budget. I bought two McDoubles (boy, do I hate those silly names) and …
Oh, The Irony!
Yes, my husband complained about the hardships of preparing a sandwich, while I was cooking dinner. (“Let’s Put It In Context“) But writing about that little incident reminded me that my husband isn’t alone in failing to recognize bad timing. Let’s go back a few years… forty to be exact. (Oh yeah, I still remember. It’s …
Let’s Put It In Context
Okay, I confessed to a few tiny little imperfections in my wifely role (“Bad Wife“). Which reminds me of the only joke my very serious mother-in-law ever told me: Several months into a very happy honeymoon, one morning the husband says to his wife, “Honey, I love you so much. But now that we have …
Bad Wife
When I was a little girl, I lived in a pretty crowded house. Mom and Dad, two sisters, one brother, and Grandma – all in a two bedroom apartment, in a two-family house with my cousins downstairs. Privacy was rare. Sooner or later (I think when my brother doing his math homework in his crib), Dad …
Closet Miracles
God wants me to have lots and lots of clothes. He has proven this to me repeatedly. (I am tempted to say ‘She’ when I refer to God, especially as related to fashion. But I know better. I have been certain for a long time that God is male. How do I know? Periods. Let’s …
Swimsuits. Seriously.
I described my last post – Sharing Swimsuit Secrets – as serious. But as usual, it was silly. However, I do have something serious I want to say on the subject. There will be silly stuff in here – I can’t help myself – but actually, this is one of the most earnest little essays …
Shhh…I’m Sharing Secrets For Successful Swimsuit Shopping
And I sell seashells by the seashore. But seriously; this is serious stuff. Shopping can be fun. Bathing suit shopping – not so much. That’s why I haven’t shopped for a new swimsuit for six years. So imagine my surprise that I have just endured this process and I am still partially sane. And I am generously …
notquiteold 