notquiteold

Nancy Roman

Moving On

Do you ever find yourself in this situation? … (Oh, please say you do… I do not want to feel like the weirdest person in the room)  …

You are getting a bit low on some product – it could be toothpaste or hair spray or even salad dressing, so the next time you are shopping, you pick up a replacement. But because it’s on sale, or it catches your attention, or you are just a fickle brat, you don’t buy the same brand. You try something new.

And then you are so keen to try the new product, you break it out right away. You start using the new toothpaste. You open the new salad dressing.

And the old product, which was just fine, sits there with 10% left in the tube, bottle, can, jar, vial, bag, envelope, box, tub.

And in the fridge, and under the sink, and in the bathroom cabinet are multiple, almost-empty tubes, bottles, cans, jars, vials, bags, envelopes, boxes and tubs. All these lonely vessels abandoned in your eagerness to try something new. Your eagerness, your passion, your obsession to get to the next thing.

Is this an American compulsion? An illness of Western civilization? Or is it part of the universal human experience?

(Or am I alone nuts?)

I am beginning to believe all the nearly-but-not-quite empty containers are indicative of a distinctly American phenomenon:

The Glorification of ‘Moving On’

I believe in Forgiveness. I believe in it with all my heart.

But I also believe there is something wrong with our inability to hold an emotion (or an idea) for any length of time without people thinking we are fixated. That we should just “get over it” – whatever “it” is.

Sometimes it is appropriate to be sad or angry or afraid. And okay to stay that way for a while.

I know people who are considered overwrought because they grieve for a loved one for what is considered “too long”.

I know people who are considered fantatics because they recognize injustice and make it their lives’ work to right that wrong.

I know people who are considered hysterical because they insist on answers to questions and will not stop asking those questions.

And all these people are told to  “Get Over It” – they should just “Move On”.

It’s as if a short attention span is an admirable state.

And yes, maybe we are happier if we just go on the the next thing, and don’t dwell on anything for very long.

But wouldn’t that also mean that love doesn’t last, and lies don’t matter? And people can hurt us without consequences?

It may not matter if the old jar of moisturizer hangs around in the cabinet because I am distracted by the shiny new one.

But it may matter if I don’t hold my government officials accountable for unethical behavior because I am too distracted by shiny new promises to remember the broken ones.

I for one am resolving to do my part:

I am finishing the Colgate before I open the Crest.

I am finishing the muenster before I open the provolone.

And I am reconsidering all my half-used makeup –

To decide –

which ones are worth keeping

which ones were mistakes I made and need to admit

which ones have clearly gone bad.

 

Maybe there is an analogy here?

  • This post was first published in 2017 .

10 Comments

  1. You are not alone. I might even say you are in good company. I do the same thing, but once I sample the new product, I will typically use both until the old one is gone.

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  2. I guess you have to try and strike a balance. It’s not always good to get hung up on something negative but I certainly believe that there are times when you should not just get over it. People need different amounts of time to grieve for a loved one, even a pet. We’re not all the same and nobody should be judged for that.
    It’s also true that if we didn’t have those people who worry about an issue like a dog with a bone change wouldn’t happen. Those people who find a cause and stick with it may not always succeed but that doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t try.

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  3. There is nothing wrong with holding on to something, unless the reason is to use it as a weapon against someone and no I am not talking about the baseball bat you used to break an intruders hand…..lol
    Opening a new product before the old is empty is something done by many of us

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  4. I simply find that I probably made a few mistakes, but I know I am not that discipline to stay in line, and I was. I personally found that I was to much of a listener, and not much of a do’er that was selfish. I was redundant in that, and my to accepting on what I could of done for my self, and I have no regrets. I know I could of had what I already had, that I did not think it was anything to do even me good that we are told even in early development that we are suggestable, and we are gullible. I find some that you can’t find anything better to tell then because they don’t know anything about since the were left as self taught that you can’t tell them anything or we are not sorry for anything that others are causing since we just want to be excused for the trouble so we can move on when you know that because they don’t thing that anything is necessary beyond what is to day that nothing exist beyond that except forward that are backwards, and I know I needed to move on then I realize that when I felt like that was growing up with a pineapple parent, and a heather formal working friend that needed help that was demanding more then I will ever want. So now I two can move on, and I think we tend to get what we ask for. I know I am not sorry for myself, I also know that charity starts at home, then I know that I am still what I was starting out, and I have returned back to because that is who I am more for the craft of what other houses provide not just the one that I was part of more then just regardless of circumstances. I only worried when I still had a house that was more then that floes then that we drink that is what we get, then again I don’t think it’s a good idea because I am not going to throw the bit just to get bit more then what I was already getting that now I can go home for something that I am not anymore then I will of know that no one either will. GT 04-27-2020.

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  5. I’m sort of the opposite. I like to try new products, but I refuse to open them until I’ve used up the old stuff – which then seems to last FOREVER! I personally think its a refusal (on my part) to ‘let things go’; I’m not good with unfinished business. And occasionally, when I do start the new product, I wish I’d stuck with the more ‘familiar’ thing – the one that doesn’t challenge me to change my way of thinking or doing things!

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    • That is true I find more than not, but if I had only so much money to get trough the month, and I buy an A grade of a A brand of Mac N Cheese for $2.50 a box. For me that would be at least min of two meals a day that would be about $150.00 a month. I know that I don’t mind that when I do that, but I have another mouth I share with, and I eat three times a day. I did drop down to 1 times a day, and gained 150 lbs./pounds. Otherwise for the month that I plan for myself I can A grade brad of Mac N Cheese in a less than B brand of Mac N Cheese for $.50 a box. Then with this brand I would only spend $45.00 for the month, and have my three meals a day with a savings of $105.00 a month. GT 05-04-2020.

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  6. Kathy Zircher

    I resolve to go through the cabinet that holds too many foot moisturizers and to discard the ones that are long past their usefulness. Same with my makeup. Time to move on! Meanwhile I will try to find a way to use up the vegan mayo that I bought in a fit of “vegetarian isn’t healthy enough”, though I will have to disguise the taste.

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  7. I tend not to open the new stuff until the old is empty. However, I try to have a reserve of what I’m used to in case I don’t like the new stuff!

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  8. Paula

    Looking at you, hand cream … right here on my desk, no less. Of course I sampled the newer one with the different scent, even while determined to use up the old one!

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  9. Chris

    This was thought provoking. And especially as I approach retirement. I enjoy my “stuff” – and whilst being at home a lot now, I have noticed multiples of many things. Probably mostly bought by accident. And it is time to reevaluate all these items for the long term – what can I live without – what do I enjoy? And of course, as you know NRoman – what of the “big stuff” will I be chucking?

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