Not Taking It Personally
Yesterday, the morning after the election, I was already being told not to be so upset -“Don’t take it so hard” – that the outcome of this election will not affect me personally.
And I guess it won’t. except:
– That I care about people having access to healthcare
– That I care about protecting the environment
– That I care about women being able to make decisions about their bodies for themselves
– That I care about gay people have the right to love and marry who they want
– That I care about the prospect of families being torn apart by deportation
– That I care about rich people paying their fair share of taxes
– That I care about the safety of our soldiers
– That I care about the danger to police officers, while at the same time caring about the treatment that African-American men receive at the hands of law enforcement and the justice system
– That I care about judging people by the content of their character and not the color of their skin or their method of worship or the attractiveness of their body.
– That I care about providing children with the example of love and kindness and the consequences of meanness and bullying
– That I care about the Supreme Court protecting the little guy, the one with the least amount of power
– That I care about honoring our contracts, treaties and commitments around the world.
But yeah, I guess it may not affect me personally. I’m not poor, or black, or an immigrant, or Muslim, or pregnant, or abused. And I will die before the planet does.
So I guess it does not affect me personally.
And I also care about respecting the democratic system, and so I will try to respect the decision of the people and hope that this new president will bring peace, kindness and prosperity to the United States.
notquiteold 
I care about all those things too. And closer to home I worry about my Hispanic son’s safety and that of biracial family members.
I too will accept the verdict. But I won’t stop talking/writing about injustice. At least Not until they gut the libel laws.
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Let’s keep writing, even if they do gut the libel laws.
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A coworker of mine who is bisexual said he woke up to a text from his mom telling him to start carrying his gun with him at all times. 😳
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That is tragic.
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That is Texas in the Trump era.
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Though I’m across the border, as a Canadian I care about about all those points. I hope we continue to be good neighbors, as well.
I can’t imagine a mother leaving a text for her son, but of course she loves him and worries about him.
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I believe in democracy. I can accept that those of the other side feel as strongly about their beliefs as I do about mine, and they won. I will give them a chance to do good for our country.
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but please, just in case… can you text me directions to your house?
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Fingers crossed. XX
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Perfectly said. I am having trouble moving out of the anger stage. I cannot write until the venom is gone. There were so many ironies in this election. Could so many people have missed them? I don’t know how it will affect me personally and I will move forward because there is no recourse. I will be lawful and supportive but he’s not my president. His behavior embarrasses me. My hope is that he will surprise me in a good way.
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I am sick at heart but determined to accept this frightening event. I am hoping against hope that the country and ALL its citizens will be okay.
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We will be. Just like us in the 60s, the youth will persist and rebel. I’m also adjusting to exactly what he can accomplish. The healthcare will go but if the people who have it are heard and the protest is loud enough perhaps they can IMPROVE on it rather than eliminate. The wall? I doubt it. He spent a lot of time telling people what they wanted to hear. Some of it can’t or won’t be accomplished. Then what? Perhaps he’ll start a reality show “Life in the White House.” Watch for casting calls. (Thanks Nancy this is the first bit of humor from me since Tuesday.)
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I can’t seem to move on but I know it’s only 2 days since. I feel sickened. I feel afraid for my health and the health of my children that have medical conditions and now possible won’t get insurance because they won’t be able to afford it. And, ugh…the families I know that might have family members questioned over deportation or legality of living here. Oh…:(
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I know… I am privileged not to have direct concerns, although I have a nephew who is a survivor of childhood cancer. He is a teenager now – what happens if those “pre-existing conditions” exclusions come back? Will he be uninsurable?
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Thank you, Nancy. I’ve enjoyed your writing for quite awhile now. This was perfectly written and is helping in a small way to ease my anxiety and anger. I’ve shared it to Facebook.
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Thank you for sharing.
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I want the directions to the house in Canada too!
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Nancy, you’ve expressed my feelings exactly. I woke up today very early thinking I was in a very dark Ground Hog Day movie, waking up again to a nightmare, and wonder how long I will feel that way. I wish I had more friends that felt the way I do. Some do. Most don’t. That is a big part of my feeling depressed right now–how can people I’ve known or loved for many years, people I think are decent human beings (esp. religious ones) have supported this monster? WWJD? The opposite of him (don’t want to say or write his name). I feel sorry for the children, the younger generation, especially. Their parents who voted for him have just done the opposite of what they (hopefully) have taught their kids. They may have just as well said to their kids “it’s OK to bully, manipulate, insult, lie, don’t pay your taxes, don’t pay your bills, sexually harass women…”. Hoping to smile again. Thank you for leaving us with some inspiration. We can’t give up.
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This right here “how can people I’ve known or loved for many years, people I think are decent human beings (esp. religious ones) have supported this monster?” is what I can’t wrap my head around. As a Canadian I am scared to death. I can’t even imagine what you all of you must be feeling.
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I think explaining this to children may be the hardest thing of all. How do you tell kids that someone who is mean and abusive will be the next President? I am so hoping he rises to the occasion, but very afraid he will not.
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Thanks Nancy! It helps to know I’m not alone. I was told not to take it so hard because I, too, am “notquiteold” and it won’t affect me. I can’t help it, though and I will continue writing about injustice, too! 😀
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Injustice should affect us all. It should be personal.
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Well-said! Some of us (less grown-up than rational you!) may first need a couple days’ more distance away from it all so as to put down the matches and take/bite apart that dry-leaf effigy of the angry white guy out there in the back yard.. already, though, I am surprised by the level of thinking this new sense of devastation has begun in me. I intend to get re-involved toward our greater common good.
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Maybe being extra kind will offset some of the meanness I feel. My husband and I have recently resolved to do something good for the community once a month. Last month we helped clean up a old railroad siding in our neighborhood. This past weekend, the same volunteers planted daffodils along the main road. It felt really good.
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I love this idea. 🙂
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Thank you for expressing what I am feeling. My husband and I have been talking about how the election will and won’t affect us (mostly in an attempt to make ourselves feel better). It was the “yes, but…” that I couldn’t put into words. You did.
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Here’s something I’ve been thinking about. How will I feel if the new administration, together with Congress, cuts taxes and I actually personally save money – while at the same time eliminates health care coverage for millions of people? I will personally benefit but others will suffer – shouldn’t I still feel outraged?
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All good points, thank you. All I can do now is read between the lines as what this might mean. Not quite half of voters are not impressed with business and Government as usual. And a thought to share: Would she be President now? — what if Hillary had said No! some years ago when Bill was running the USA (fair job) but let his passion be “more important” from time to time. My huge concern could be expressed like this essentially. It appears she was “tolerant”, (please fill us in on what she actually said?) Oh, it’s ok, he’s a hard dog to keep on the porch.
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Perhaps Clinton was the wrong candidate.. I don’t know. And we must recognize the legitimate anger that half the country was feeling. But does that justify voting for a candidate who was proud to represent hate and bigotry? We shall see.
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BTW, I voted for Sanders in the primary. But I’m not sure he would have been a more winning candidate. A socialist Jew? Now we will never know.
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I was not certain he was Jewish,but fairly sure, and that should not matter so I also voted for him because of his involvement ( apparently fighting for a good purpose) for many years.
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Yes please! addresses of those in Canada, just in case. It is a frightening world and now country we live in. I think they want to deport all Liberals too. Why are there so many of them? Has the world indeed gone mad around us? I actually thought of purchasing a gun just in case someone tries to grab me by the trump! OMG Whatever am I thinking?
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We are suffering from collective anxiety. I am spending my time with my doggy. And today I went to the gym. It’s helping. So is snacking.
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Thanks for writing about this. So true. This is not just a “win for the other party.” I’m not sulking because I’m a democrat. It’s really, really hard to get my brain around all this.
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I agree. I don’t think we are overreacting. During the last election, I thought that if Romney won, I could live with that. I lived with W – and the country did too. The country has been stronger than one person – we have been able to survive a bad president. (of both parties). But this time is different. I can’t help but be fearful.
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Something about this reminds me of what Father Niemoller wrote a long time ago. Either we as a country will rise above the circumstances or we will learn from the mistake the next time around. All we have direct control over is how we treat others and standing up for what is right. We must be the positive model that inspires the change and maintains the expectation.
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That’s pretty good advice, thanks.
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Time to start working on the next election. No time to lose.
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I hope, I hope. I hope we all genuinely work together to stand our ground for what’s right and safe, one tiny issue at a time.
I’m a college educated white woman, and I’m disgusted that people are saying everything “should” be fine for me.
I had the privilege of growing up in Chicago, and going to a school where I was one of 2 white girls in my 3rd grade class.
As a child my long straight hair was fondled and pulled because someone was “curious”. I don’t want anyone else to have to feel like that.
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Thanks. You know how it feels to be judged by superficial standards. It’s not right.
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Well said! This election affects us all in one way or another. Thus far it has thrown me into a deep depression, and that – I’m afraid – is the least of my worries! I’m sharing, with credit to you, Nancy, thank you!
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Thank you for sharing. We all need to help each other to get through this difficult time.
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Beautifully said, Nancy! I am right there with you. If it didn’t affect me personally, why do I feel so bad? Most of all I feel embarrassment. Isn’t that odd? But the grief is there, too.
Thanks for addressing this issue.
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Yes, there’s embarrassment. I feel ashamed – that so many of my fellow citizens are so angry they would vote for a racist, misogynist narcissist…. but also ashamed that so many of my fellow citizens were that angry and we didn’t even see it. How were they ignored?
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And I hate to say it, but I’m ashamed that people have such poor judgment in thinking that he qualifies as presidential material. Good grief! People really were angry and desperate to “take their country back” as if it couldn’t be shared.
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Well said
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U nailed it
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Roxanne and Silkpurseproductions, I love your comments!
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Phew; bum year or what? Sitting in the UK what with Brexit buggering us to the back of beyond and a Prime Minister who seems intent on cosying up to the Orange One, I must say 2016 is a bit of a dud, geo-politically speaking. But you’re right, I’m none of those and so why do I mind? I just do. Keep writing and keep pointing out the stupidities and one day we may get the governments we need not those we deserve.
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Wonderfully written. Thank you for your support!
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Agree with every point, except the last paragraph. I’m still at “denial” and may not move into the “acceptance” phase of grief for a while. Like you I will be little impacted, but like you I care about all those other issues/people/the world. I am in deep grief.
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Couldn’t agree more, my friend. The Child called to ask if I was okay. Then she told me she had donated to Planned Parenthood. She is 25, bless her.
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Thank you so much for this. I am still grieving right now but soon I will activate. I will be paying more attention to politics locally and nationally and calling my congresmen and women to tell them how I expect them to vote. I hope all of us will. I do have to correct you however, this does affect you directly. You are a woman. Did you hear how he talks about and treats women? He has no respect for us.
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Torture for you, figuring out an attitude that works.
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And that is what it is all about: Do we care about other people? Beautifully written with sentiment close to my heart, too.
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Totally agree. Thank you.
Peta
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As a non-American (a British citizen living and working in China) I think you may (but hope you won’t) be startled/surprised/ horrified by what your President elect may do. He seems to be a man with a very thin skin when it comes to criticism, he doesn’t listen to experts, he is volatile. With a personality like that, it is scary….who knows what he might do. The outside world looks on with amazement that the USA has elected such a man. Here in China, young
Chinese tell me that they now realise how dangerous democracy is!!!!!! What can I say?
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I am very concerned. It’s difficult to get through the day. But I am still hoping we will all get through it.
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Democracy….51% of the people telling the other 49% to just deal with it because they won/lost, whatever the case may be. I don’t think we were meant to live this way at all…..
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