I Have A Good Excuse
I was late for work today.
But I have a really good excuse.
First of all, I went to a concert last night. On a weeknight. I stayed out very late. The wee hours. The concert didn’t get over until 11:15! That’s a full one hour and fifteen minutes past my bedtime. And I didn’t even count that it’s an EIGHT minute drive home. Let me repeat: On a weeknight.
Then, my husband had to get up early. His friend is trying to convince him to go partners in an antique business. So they went to the huge antique show to get the lay of the old stuff land, so to speak. I haven’t been discouraging in this possible endeavor. Hubby needs a hobby. And he loves to make deals. He was a very successful salesman due to his love of the deal. The issue is that he falls in love with shit. And then he can’t bear to part with it. He had found the perfect product in advertising – because he didn’t have to buy it first. And it’s hard to fall in love with advertising space. But antiques? I mean I like antiques. But I don’t want my house to start looking like the The Addams Family. Then again, he might be good at it.
So anyway, he had to get up at 5:00. This would not necessarily translate into me getting up early too. He can make coffee and toast quite well without me. So I could have slept a little late. However, the alarm beeps right over my head in the bedroom every time a door opens. And it beeped over and over and over again. I’m not sure why he went in and out so many times. Four years ago I would have said he was filling up the car with snacks. After all, it’s more than an hour’s drive. Snacks would be called for. But now that we are both eating healthy nutritious stuff, snacks are water and bananas. That wouldn’t take a whole lot of trips to the car – even he takes forty bananas.
But regardless, beep, beep… going out… beep beep…coming in. Beep beep… going out… beep beep…coming in. Beep, beep… well, you get the picture. So I got up. “You’re up?” he said. “You shoulda slept in.”
So I’m up. Early. I didn’t take long in the shower, because I didn’t have to wash my hair. It’s Zumba day, and I’m not going to waste clean hair on a day that ends with a big sweat-event. Zumba day means updo. Updo is easy with dirty hair. It mostly just sticks to itself. And the ends that pop out are charmingly casual.
I ironed. I must wear freshly ironed clothes, even when it’s jeans. I just must. The ironing board is set up permanently in my home. College almost killed me, because I had no space in my dorm room for an ironing board. It’s a miracle I graduated. I dressed in my freshly ironed clothes. I didn’t change more than twice. That saved time.
I did all my makeup. ‘All’ means ‘a lot’. But I am very skilled. I could compete in Olympic makeup application. I would win. I was still really early.
My husband left for his big adventure. This saved me an enormous amount of time at breakfast, because I didn’t have to talk to him. I opened my book. In retrospect, this may have been a minor mistake. However, I had already saved so much time what with getting up so early and not shampooing and not changing my clothes three times and not speaking to my husband — well, four chapters fit into my schedule quite nicely. The fifth made it a little tight.
But I was okay. I did the dishes and made the bed and saved an enormous amount of time by wearing plain hoop earrings and my wedding rings. Not having to choose a necklace easily offset that fifth chapter.
Yogurt and a banana in my bag… Double-checked that the coffeemaker was off. And the iron. Perfectly on time.
Then the old cat threw up. Not a problem. Hubby can “find” it when he gets home. There is no way to date-stamp cat puke. It most certainly could have happened right after I left.
I was only 1 minute behind schedule. But I knew I could make it. I have no traffic lights and only two stop signs between my house and the office. Both stop signs are at right hand turns. There’s hardly ever any traffic. I don’t really have to come to a full stop.
And then. Those few seconds late caused me to be behind the school bus that I am usually in front of.
I ended up six minutes late for work.
“Sorry, I’m late,” I said to the boss as she spotted me running in. “Why does every damn kid have to kiss his mother?”
- Posted in: Aging ♦ Humor ♦ Work
- Tagged: excuses, excuses for lateness, getting ready for work, lateness, mornings, school bus, Work
notquiteold 
Those buses are awful, aren’t they. I mean I don’t begrudge getting the kids to school and home safely, but the schedules need to fit your timeline right…
LikeLike
I find it extremely inconsiderate that the kid can’t kiss his parent BEFORE the bus comes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Exactly !!! But they were planning on making someone late, it just happened to be your lucky day !! 🙂
LikeLike
Good point: b.e.f.o.r.e. the bus comes. Why hasn’t anyone thought of THAT? 😀 😀 😀
LikeLike
I guess it doesn’t count as a kiss unless you are stopping a whole slew of cars.
LikeLike
That 1 minute makes a huge difference in the morning! And why does the bus pick up each child in front of his house even if they’re practically next door to each other? Didn’t we have to wait on the corner and all get picked up at once? Don’t get me wrong, I want them to be safe, but my timing is tight in the mornings too. 🙂
LikeLike
I don’t mind on the busy road with no sidewalks… but in residential areas not even that far from the school?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I walked to school, when I was in grade school.
LikeLike
I wrote about that too: https://notquiteold.wordpress.com/2012/01/17/walking-to-school-with-abraham-lincoln/
LikeLike
And of course the bus stops at every driveway …
LikeLike
And the kid doesn’t even open the front door until the bus is already there!
LikeLike
If he did, he would obviously be kidnapped.
LikeLike
No matter if I have one hour or three to get ready for the day, I’ll fill that whole time. With what I am not sure. But mornings where I could easily be in 15 minutes early, I’ll still squeak by with about 5 minutes to spare. Funny how that happens.
LikeLike
Very true… and it has NOTHING to do with how many chapters you read during breakfast.
LikeLike
If you get behind a bus where I live you travel for miles and miles on a twisty, curvy, no passing zone rural road. You shout things reserved for moments alone in your closed car and beg that they turn off somewhere soon so you can get by! And also, so your blood pressure will return to normal…
LikeLike
The only time I enjoyed it.. I happened to have a cat on my lap. And I had the cat “wave” to the kids in the bus in front of me. I’m sure the bus driver was very happy that I had the whole bunch of kids standing in the back waving at the cat when they were supposed to be seated so she could drive. (Payback is sweet!)
LikeLiked by 1 person
The college where I used to work was situated beside a private (K – 12) school at the top of a very steep hill (that we insist upon calling a ‘mountain’). If I left the college at 3:55 (we started classes at 8:00 am) I could get down the hill, through the narrow neighbourhood streets and onto the highway and home in 20 minutes. If I left at 4:00, I ended up behind a dozen school buses, all leaving the private school at the same time, heading s-l-o-w-l-y down the ‘mountain’ and along the same route as me towards the highway; it would take me an hour to get home! It was seriously frustrating, for sure.
LikeLike
Timing is everything!
LikeLike
I’m no longer working but I was NEVER early for work (is that why I don’t have a job anymore? hmm) Anyway, this is the first blog I’ve ever signed up for and I don’t know if there is “blog etiquette” so excuse me if I’m offending: your cat puke problem–have you had kitty to the vet for kidney check? I won’t go into any details other than it appears from what I see that in America we are having a kitty kidney/renal failure epidemic that starts in very young cats. I’ll leave you there. Hope you enjoyed the concert.
LikeLike
Welcome, Chris. My kitty’s problem is just old age… she’s 18…. but thanks for thinking about it!
LikeLike
Why, oh why, do the fates conspire against one when you had the whole thing worked out perfectly?
I once stepped in cat-gack on my way down the stairs, 1/2 hour after my hubby. I just assumed it was a recent gacking, but now you’ve got me wondering…
LikeLike
Oh I think he leaves as much for me to “find” as I do for him….
LikeLike
I know that feeling where you thought everything went perfectly well and suddenly the universe decided to dump a piece of crap for you to fall into at the end.
LikeLike