Once Again, I’ve Hidden It
Oh, I’ve written a couple of times about how secretive I am.
I am diabolical in the ways in which I hide things from my husband. (“Secret Agent” and “‘Where’s My Hat?’ Asked Waldo”)
I was a meanie again this week.
In the morning as I am leaving for work, my husband is making his shopping list. Because he is retired and I am not, he does most of the shopping. I love that. Not that he is retired and I am not – I hate that part – I love that he runs all those errands I can’t stand. When I shop, I want to shop for clothes and makeup, not dish detergent and ketchup.
So anyway, he’s making his list, and he says, “I think we also need some of that nice shaving cream. The tube in the shower is totally squeezed out.”
He is referring to Cremo – the inexpensive but very nice shave cream that we both love.
My husband had a beard for twenty years. When he shaved it off two years ago, he found that shaving made his face really raw. He tried several different brands of shaving cream before stumbling on this one. It’s gentle on his face, and nice and moisturizing for me too. (This is not a paid endorsement… but if the Cremo folks would like to pay me, they can contact me right away.)
End of commercial – back to the story:
So when my husband says we are out of Cremo, I say, “No, there’s another tube in the cabinet in the bathroom.”
“Which cabinet?” he asks.
“The tall one,” I answer. Our bathroom has the usual wall cabinet and under-the-sink cabinets, and then one tall cabinet for linens. Only the one. And we call it the “Tall Cabinet.” It’s clearer to my husband than saying “Linen Cabinet.” Because he doesn’t really relate “Linen” and “Towels.” (Plus there’s a lot more than towels in there.) As sneaky as I am, I do not (at least not always) try to add more confusion.
So….
End of day, and we’re getting ready for bed. Hubby says, “By the way, there was no Cremo in the tall cabinet after all, so I bought two tubes today and put them in the tall cabinet. So now we have two.”
The next morning, I open the cabinet and there they are.
And I SWEAR —- I SWEAR! —- I did not alter this photo in any way.
- Posted in: Humor ♦ Marriage
- Tagged: Cremo, Lost things, misplaced things, shaving cream, Shopping
notquiteold 
I can so relate….
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I think it may be a universal truth.
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This is soooo much my house. My husband cannot find a thing.
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ALL husbands!
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Well…I too have been guilty of looking directly at something and swearing that it wasn’t there so perhaps it’s an age thing rather than based on sex of the viewee.
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I can think of one occasion when I SWORE what I was looking at was not there… but on the whole, I truly believe it’s overwhelmingly a man thing.
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No it’s a husband thing. They can’t find milk in the fridge or scotch tape anywhere.
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Do you know how many teams he has said, “I’ve lost my keys.” “I’ve lost my glasses,” “I’ve lost my phone” – when they are right there????
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As long as he can find me, I’m happy.
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You’ve got a point…. although more than once, he’s been hollering, “Where are you?” when I’m sitting in my favorite chair?
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Had to laugh. My husband can’t see things like that unless they jump up and announce themselves!
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My mother often wondered why men (and children) needed things to jump up and say “Here I AM!”
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Yep. My best hiding place from my husband is in plain sight. I swear he can’t see things right in front of him yet can find nearly any sneaky hiding place i can find.
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Ha! That’s the truth!!!
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I had a rule for my first husband: he was not allowed to ask me where something was until he had searched in earnest for 60 seconds.
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Gee, I don’t know. Sixty seconds is such a long time.
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It seemed to be for him. And then he would always say something like, “I looked for at least a minute… don’t get mad.. have you seen my…”. And then I’d go straight to the “lost” item and hand it to him. Of all his faults, that was one of my favorites.
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Looking without seeing comes to mind. Must be a husband thing. 🙂
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Definitely in the y chromosome.
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Yes, I often ask myself ‘why?’ 🙂
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“Why” we don’t kill them off?
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Nah, mine’s too useful!
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Husbands AND children have that same blind gene!
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I agree… children too. But girl children seem to outgrow it.
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Very cleverly hidden indeed. I so dread those times when wife asks me to find something in her desk drawer… I swear there are so many vaguely identifiable things and so may other inscrutable ones… Please have mercy on my gender!
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We are extremely tolerant of your unseeing gender. Good thing we can laugh at you – or we’d probably kill you.
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LOL! I laughed so hard at this I had to show my boyfriend where it was and he just went upstairs ranting about women moving everything around all the time. It’s universal, is what it is 😀
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Oh yes… when I point out where the “missing” item is – he asserts that I must have moved it. Although in this case, he was in the bathroom with me when I opened the cabinet – and when I pointed it out, he just said, “Son of a bitch.”
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*what it was
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YES!!!! It was definitely not in plain view. At all! I laughed because this is a “thing” in our house as well. BTW, we love Cremo here in our household as well. Thanks for the giggles.
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Yes… I hid it really well, over there on the right just a bit.
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Yup. I knew you were right about a tube in there already. That still happens, does it? Sigh. Somethings never change. 🙂
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I usually know where everything is. I need to know. He calls me at work – “where is the tape?”
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That’s not as bad as getting a phone call at work asking, “what’ in the green container in the fridge?” G-r-r.
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I say, “Send me a picture?” I also like = “Are the dishes in the dishwasher clean or dirty?” Good reason to phone me at work.
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😀 😀 😀 I know! Too hilarious for words.
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Oh, he has man eyes. They all do. I believe it is part of their DNA. It doesn’t matter if they are looking in a cabinet or in the refrigerator. They can stand there with the door open for 20 minutes. Finally, hollering”Where’s the…?”. Without fail we can walk in and pluck it off the shelf in under 2 seconds. I always get the evil eye after this, like I had some kind of invisible cloak on the item and just removed it.
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Women use that invisible cloak for tormenting them. Because we are evil.
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Yes, yes we are.
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It amazes me that every time my husband indignantly says ‘It’s not there’, I can open the drawer or cupboard and pull ‘it’ right out. And then he just makes it worse by saying, ‘Well, it wasn’t there a minute ago’. WHERE, exactly, WAS it, then? They are definitely all the same!
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It is part of the Y chromosome.
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so funny)
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Thanks… just telling the truth.
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This is hilarious! Since my wife and I will be in a similar situation once I retire, I am so thankful she does not blog. 🙂
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And I am thankful my husband does not read mine.
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Ditto regarding the triple Cremo tube fiasco. And if you point out the already-existent tube he might say, “That wasn’t there earlier.” Yeah, right. Too good.
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I did point it out. He said, “Son of a bitch.” That’s an apology, in man-speak.
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Here’s another apology: “If I’m responsible for that, I apologize.” Yah gotta love it.
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That’s about as deep as it gets! But the depth of what… I will leave to you.
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It must be a universal thing. Where I used to work if someone couldn’t find something the women would say “Did you just have a man’s look for it?”
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ha ha! So true!
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My sons are the same. Once the hubby complained we had no OJ for a week…..all he had to do was move the milk….brand new unopened carton. Men.
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That is totally unfair. Milk is really hard to move.
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are all men the same exact man???
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Yes. They are.
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Oh my goodness! If I documented I would have a couple dozen or more photos just like that! Men! ~Elle
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It never fails. I’ll be up to my armpits cutting raw chicken, and my husband or one of my boys cannot find something staring them right in the face. I eventually give up trying to describe the object’s location and have to stop what I’m doing, wash up, and come over and point to the object. The response is usually an ‘Oh’.
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I am still rolling on the floor, laughing. OMG, this sounds like our house.
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HA! Love this! I totally agree. It’s a MAN thing. Although I’ll admit I do move things when they are not (in my opinion) where they should be. That is a WOMAN thing…
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HA! I am always telling my hubby he might need to actually move something up or over, that we do actually have it. He doesn’t and then gets mad when I sigh and grab the item he wants. Then he accuses me of moving everything around. Who has time for that???? There’s far easier things to do to torment him! 😛
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Boy, is that story familiar!
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It’s a good thing I wasn’t drinking anything at the moment I read the ending…I would have spit iced tea all over my monitor 😀
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I’m always happiest if I can make someone laugh!
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I read this post to my boyfriend. I showed him the picture and asked, “What do you see?” He said, “Two shaving creams.”
Seriously?! Haha!
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OMG… maybe it’s some kind of testosterone reaction!
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