Wastin’ Time
“I’m just sittin’ on the dock of EBay…. Wastin’ Time…”
Well, not exactly. But close.
For the last month, I have become addicted to something other than blogging.
It all started with Pinterest.
I couldn’t imagine what anyone would use this for.
Then while browsing on a shopping site, I saw a sweater I kind of liked, but wasn’t sure I wanted to buy. So I started a board to hold the possible purchase for me. Then I saw a fabulous pair of ballet flats that were way too expensive, but I wanted to remind myself to look for a knockoff. Then a necklace and earrings that I considered dropping big hints to my husband about for Christmas.
And Whoa; this is what people use Pinterest for. I don’t need a memory after all.
And so I started looking to see what other people were keeping on their board instead of in their brain.
And of course, I was looking at Fashion, and Jewelry, and Makeup.
Do you know that thousands of people are pinning cute clothes?
And more and more, I found cute outfits that referred back to something called Polyvore.
So I logged onto Polyvore.com.
OMG, as they say two generations below me. (Or perhaps they say something new now… how the hell do I know?)
Polyvore is a website where you build outfits. They have shitloads of tees and sweaters and jackets and pants and skirts and shoes and dresses and handbags and jewelry. Plus backgrounds and colors and fonts. And you can pull them together and make any outfit you want. You can combine a $2,480 designer skirt with a $13 Mickey Mouse Tee. And you can search for a specific detail, like ruffles, or sort by brand or color.
And in case there are not enough choices (one day I scrolled through 133 pages of cardigans – and there are 20 per page)… well you can upload your own finds through a nifty and easy to use app.
And there are contests!
Every day there are contests from Polyvore and from hundreds of subgroups that you can join.
Design something for Valentine’s Day. Design an outfit around this blouse. An outfit with high-heeled boots. An outfit inspired by fruit. There is no end to the contests.
(And of course you can buy all the things you choose…of course, of course… they have links right to the website with the $5,285 Alexander McQueen clutch that you just so nicely paired with the $5.99 earrings from Etsy.)
One of my favorite past-times as a kid was playing paper-dolls.
I am so there again. The internet form of paper-dolls.
For hours and hours. And hours and hours. Every day. To hell with my blog and my novel.
For instance, here’s my entry in the Valentine’s Day outfit contest:
I did not win.
And here’s my entry in the Graphic Print contest:
I did not win.
I know I have missed my calling. I was meant to be a fashion consultant.
But no one else seems to recognize my talent.
If you are reading this, you are probably a blogger, so you know how addicting ‘Likes’ are. Even Facebook ‘Likes’ are sweet. When I enter a contest, I get maybe 4 ‘Likes’. A person posting about the same time often gets 87 ‘Likes’ in the first hour. I’m not kidding. I don’t know where all those Likes come from. Those people certainly have big families.
But I know that I will soon gain a following. Lots of those 87-Liked outfits are pretty crappy. I’m at least as crappy as they are.
And Followers.
I joined a month ago. I have 24 followers. A fellow designer (whose work I rather ‘like’) joined six months ago. She has 2,879 followers.
(And to think that it has taken me 18 months to get 500 followers on my blog. For real popularity, you just need to pair brocade shorts with a dolman sleeve tee.)
But I am on my way.
I had someone ‘Like’ 13 of my outfits. And she sent me a message, complimenting me on my skill.
I was excited and encouraged. I went to her page to see what her stuff was like and to check out her bio.
She’s eleven.
My first fan.
- Posted in: Aging ♦ Fashion ♦ Humor ♦ Style ♦ Writing
- Tagged: Aging, Clothing design, fashion, fashion consultant, Humor, middle-aged, Pinterest, Polyvore
notquiteold 
That was brilliant!
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Thanks… wasting that much time…not so brilliant.
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Call it blog-fodder. It takes away a little of the guilt.
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Lol. Maybe a mature 11?
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Well, I think her outfits are very stylish for eleven. That only makes me feel ‘sort of’ better. Yes, she has good taste. But shouldn’t my stuff look at least a little better?
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i love the zebra you put in your graphic print contest board. nice touch.
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They don’t offer the zebra for sale, but my husband would buy one.
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What a hoot! I’m off to check out the site. Please send a search party if you don’t hear from me within a week!!
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Don’t say I didn’t warn you!
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What a fun site! I’ve spent many hours choosing My Items and have confirmed that I have terribly expensive taste–gaa.
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What always surprises me is realizing later than I have paired a $1,000 skirt with a $7.99 shirt. Does that make me – on the average – reasonable?
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I totally don’t get Pinterest.
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I hear ya. I joined several months ago and never logged on again. However, I occasionally get notices that people are following me. Following what? It’s just a digital bulletin board and mine is blank.
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I hear ya. I joined several months ago and never logged on again. However, I occasionally get notices that people are following me. Following what? It’s just a digital bulletin board and mine is blank.
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I want to try this site! I love your entry in the Graphic Print category. I love this blog and this particular entry. You are an excellent writer and you know how to capture people’s interest; you know how to pare; your posts are exactly right in terms of length AND I love the illustratons. Some eleven year olds have wonderful fashion taste – I wasn’t one of them but I remember some young fashionistas in my sixth grade (and I don’t think their parents were putting those outfits together for them.) They are also likely to be honest and they are more likely to admire an adult rather than lace their compliments with jealously. (They reserve that for their peers.)
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Thanks, Laurie. It’s really fun – both blogging and outfit-putting-together.
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I am deeply concerned about losing you from the blogging world when you get over 2,000 eleven year old followers! Of course you are a talented designer, but what is that compared to providing comedy and laughter on a global scale? 500 ardent adult followers is nothing to sneeze at! 🙂
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Ditto! I’ve been missing you too. You keep me up to date on styles and after I read your posts, I don’t feel so vain! You make me feel normal! I too was wondering what you would do with Pinterest.
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Thank you both. Blogging is much more rewarding than outfit-putting-together. I just need to get past the honeymoon period.
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A number of years ago, my sister’s friend was addicted to the computer game, The Sims. She invented an entire life and perfect home on the computer while her own life and home were put on hold. I believe she visited one of her Sims neighbors one day, and was never seen again.
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I have been on Pinterest for quite awhile now and have found it really helpful to remember stuff…or to play with when I am on hold. I’ve seen outfits from the Polyvore site and liked 1 or two items in the outfit so I go back to the outfit and pick out the stuff I like and pin it separately. It has been a blessing that I didn’t know all the things you can do on that site or I would be lost to it forever.
Your Fellow Paper Doll Designer.
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Just spent two more hours there. If you are smart you will stay away.
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Is there an option to ‘lock out’ your credit card?!?!?!? This looks like a VERY dangerous site (I can’t wait to try it – it sure beats going to the mall).
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You can build an imaginary wardrobe without spending a cent. (But I will admit I have spent a little.)
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Pinterest. I’ve heard a lot about it but haven’t had time to take a peek and I’m RETIRED! Love your “collections”. Can’t anyone see how brilliant they are?
Sounds like the contests are brutal–an eleven-year-old. Ouch! **giggles**
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I think I am an ‘acquired taste.’ You acquire a taste for me when you’re eleven – and then again after menopause.
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You have made me understand Pinterest. That is a feat worthy of me following your boards. If I can remember my password, I’ll start following.
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The purpose of Pinterest is to save room in your brain for your car keys and your nephews’ birthdays.
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Totally love the graphic print one. Darn, did you have to tempt me with another time-waster?
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Let me know if you join. I promise to LIKE you if you LIKE me back. It is so hard to have no LIKES.
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I will definitely let you know, and I’ll even become a follower!
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“I promise to LIKE you if you LIKE me back”? You are even starting to talk like an eleven-year-old. I’m sure you wrote that to intentionally sound like a pre-teen, but I laughed nonetheless.
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Another Pinterest addict speaks my language.
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Yeah, I now love Pinterest. Have you discoved LoLoBu?
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No, what’s that?
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Its’ a guy (at least that’s what he says) who has a Pinterest site for fashion. He pins about 50 items PER DAY. So he will inundate you if you follow him, but most of his pins are fabulous.
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I’ll have to check him out!
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Promise me you’ll never stop blogging.
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I’ll still be here – I’m too vain to give it up.
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Phew!
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I love your Graphic Print, I would have bought it! Does that help?
I think you will just need to bring your best designs to us so we can go like them and buy them.
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I think you can get a leash for the zebra.
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This totally cracked me up. I do like your taste in outfits. They are way better than an eleven-year-old’s. as for Pinterest, I tried it, couldn’t figured it out, deleted the app, was laughed at by my daughter, put the app back, and now have about a dozen boards…all about food. How sad is that?
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It’s like I always say…if it weren’t for this stupid job, and stupid family, and all my other stupid obligations, I could spend all day surfing the interwebz and writing and commenting and exploring fab new sites like that, which is what I’d REALLY be good at.
I don’t know why you didn’t win – a zebra is the perfect accessory for any outfit.
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I think I would have won if I had included a leash.
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PLEASE–no more internet porn!
I cannot spend all day on the computer. It messes up my eyes.
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I didn’t plan on keeping on reading but there is something compulsive about your writing! I’m thoroughly enjoying it – maybe because you keep touching on a nerve. I think we must be of an age!
I’ll keep reading….
All the best to you 🙂
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