Where The Heck Do I Put It?
Now that I am on this fitness kick – (Bear with me; it’s a stage. Think of it as the Terrible Two’s of the Sexagenarian Set.) – I’ve added Walking to my Zumba/Yoga routine.
Walking is a great activity for several reasons. It’s easy. The weather’s getting nice. I can wear my new skinny jeans.
Since I’m walking (okay, not like power-walking or anything…more like a stroll), I found a great app (meaning FREE) for my iPhone.
It’s a pedometer. It shows me steps and distance. It has a GPS, in case I get lost walking around my yard.
And it shows calories expended. After I walk 1.27 miles, I can have one Lindt truffle. One.
But there’s a downside to my phone pedometer.
Where do I put it?
I usually carry my cell phone in my purse. But it’s stupid to bring my purse on my walk. (Although it would add about seventeen pounds. Sort of like free weights. I might be able to have two truffles.)
None of my cute little cardigans have pockets. Well, one has a phony pocket. My phone won’t fit in ‘pretend’.
Skinny jeans are skinny – I can put my phone in a pocket, but then I can’t move my hip more than 3 inches. That’s pretty tiny steps.
I know women who stick their phones in their bra. I’ll admit that I have some extra room in there. But I can’t exactly tuck it in discreetly. I will have one tiny round bosom and one tiny rectangular one.
(Sorry…I know you were expecting an illustration right here…)
I could find a case on a chain so I could wear my phone like a necklace. I might look like a lost kid at the airport though.
But then I had an idea.
My husband is always looking to invent something. He comes up with some crazy notions.
But this idea is mine, and it’s brilliant. (Which probably means someone has already thought of it.)
Why can’t they (my husband) make a phone like a watch?
Okay, I already know that someone has thought of it a while ago. Like in 1946.
But a wrist iPhone is a FABULOUS idea.
I love watches, especially big funky watches. Here are a few of mine:
A wristphone wouldn’t be that much bulkier. And the watch business is struggling, given that everyone has the time on their phone. So the wristphone could give the wristwatch industry a shot in the arm, so to speak.
And being right on your wrist, the pedometer app could take your pulse.
And measure your oxygen level.
Maybe it could even be programmed to give you a little shock if you don’t pick up your pace.
Oh, there’s all kinds of apps.
Think how easy it would be to take pictures. Talk about ‘point and shoot’.
Just be careful in the ladies’ room. You wouldn’t want to accidentally take any wipe photos.
I’m not distraught. Just taking my temperature with my wristphone temp-app.
- Posted in: Aging ♦ Fashion ♦ Humor ♦ Style
- Tagged: Aging, Cell Phone, Dick Tracy, exercise, Humor, iPhone, Pedometer, Skinny Jeans, Smartphone, Walking
notquiteold 
Cute post! I also walk every morning, but I just wear “regular” jeans. And I must have my phone….and a tissue….and the house key on a keychain with an alarm, just in case someone tries to abduct me. So skinny jeans wouldn’t work for me! But I do like the pedometer APP; I’ll have to check on that. Love your sketch, as always.
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Guys all use phone holsters. Tom has one. They also make workout arm bands for iPods – I would not be surprised if the same exists for phones. I have the simplest solution of all – I just hold it in my hand while I am running.
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It would need a way to dispense a Lindt truffle after the workout is complete. Then it would be the greatest invention in the history of inventions.
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That would be perfect!
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Would yours fight crime, too, like Dick Tracy’s?
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Yes, crimes of fashion.
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Crimes of fashion!!! Love that remark! I have an arm band for my iPod touch…that would fit the iPhone, too, but might not look good with your cute sweaters…I think your idea is best…now put hubby to work creating the prototype!
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Brilliant idea! I was going to suggest the little wrist “things” you can get online but a smart phone would probably be too big. I carry a regular little cell phone, my credit cards, driver’s license, and some $ in my wrist thingy and a pedometer attached to my elastic waist. People think I have injured my wrist. I tell ’em it’s a sports injury! I love this post and your illustrations are always hilarious.
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As an unapologetic fitness nut (since the 70s–the decade, not my age!) I wouldn’t walk in jeans at all–they get sweaty, they’re restrictive etc. I wear workout or yoga pants or cotton knit shorts, none of which, of course, have pockets because, after peeing standing up, pocket-less clothes are the second greatest injustice of female anatomy (well, of course also after childbearing and periods….) Anyway, I have a water bottle carrier that has a strap to sling over my shoulder and a little pocket that holds a phone and a key. And don’t forget, if you want to look like a TOTAL elderly dork, there’s always a fannypack.
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I couldn’t possibly wear a fanny-pack. I will not even put a Kleenex in my back pocket. That would add bulk.
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Brilliant! Of course you never fail.
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aww….thanks!
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Modern invention must’ve abandonned this wrist-phone concept around the time that we gave up on hoverboards.
This is why I’m 36 going on 86: I need a wrist kleenex dispenser. My nose is always drippy and at times when I’m pocketless. It’s a horrible problem to have when you’re out walking. I’ve considered rubbing my face on a passing lawn chair.
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A wrist kleenex dispenser is a GREAT idea. I’d use one. And I NEED one. I’ve been known to use a leaf. But I have to be able to identify the plant. Poison ivy would be a bad choice.
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Great idea! Although…radiation??? oh shut up rose!
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Oh, I wouldn’t worry about radiation. Gigantic rich American companies would never sell us anything dangerous.
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You’re right. We live in the best of all possible worlds!
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I am all for new inventions. Go for it!
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Ha! I’ve got to get that app! I have the same dilemma – now that I have an iPhone, I think, why don’t I take this with me when I walk the dog instead of the iPod mini? Bam, music and the safety of having my phone all at once (I never have pockets either). But I think it would still be too big to hold (hmm. That’s what she said).
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So glad I found your blog today! I’m laughing out loud. They say that’s good for your health too, don’t they? Couldn’t help picturing your boob ringing and imagine what it would feel like if your phone was on vibrate! The wrist phone is definitely a much better idea.
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Isn’t this like the Star Trek communicators? Definitely like Dick Tracy. Except now, someone ought to be able to do it. Everyone uses their phone to find out what time it is anyway:) Great idea!
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