notquiteold

Nancy Roman

A Tale Of Terror

I’ve written before (“Fraidy Cat”) about a few of my rational but mostly irrational fears. Icy Roads: Rational. Ventriloquists’ Dummies: Not so much.

But there are events in everyone’s life that are so terrifying it may take years before you can even talk about it.

It’s been four years now, and so I think I’m ready. If you are faint of heart, you are hereby forewarned. I hope you can sleep tonight.

Years ago, I would drive half-way across the state for a haircut. (Yeah, okay, it’s the state of Connecticut – but still). A good haircut was worth the time and gas. And since I often traveled to New York on business, I’d stay late for an appointment with a Madison Avenue stylist. Oh so worth the money.

But as I got older, I started to experiment with local hair. I wanted great hair, but I was sometimes ready to settle for pretty good hair right down the street. Of course, I considered it right down the street if the salon was in a radius of thirty miles.

And then, quite by accident, I found a pretty good stylist literally right down the street.

A five-minute commute, an accommodating schedule, and a decent enough haircut. I was in hair heaven.

I went to her for two years. Sometimes it wasn’t perfect. But you know, hair grows.

(I can’t believe I just wrote that.)

Then one day I’m sitting in her chair.

I ask her how she’s been.

She says, “I’ve had a bad month. I had a fight with my neighbor, and things got really ugly.”

“Oh, that’s too bad,” I say.

“It’s okay though,” she says.  “It’s actually helped me to face an issue I’ve had a hard time dealing with.”

“A happy ending, I guess,” I smile.

“Yeah,” she says, picking up the SCISSORS.  “Thanks to the judge’s orders, I’m going to ANGER MANAGEMENT classes. I start NEXT WEEK.”‘

31 Comments

  1. Ooooh – that is a tale of TERROR! Are you still her client?

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  2. bigsheepcommunications

    Hmm, potential maiming by scissor wielding psycho stylist vs. commute into NYC for haircut. The choice is clear, my friend.

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  3. Oh, my word! Something similar happened to me several years ago. I hope you survived. And that you took photos for the lawsuit.

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    • You just brought back another weird memory (and coincidence). I once had my hair burned very badly getting a perm. I wanted to sue the hairdresser, and I actually called a lawyer. He said just what I said above, “Hair Grows.”

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  4. Hmm….I am sure she would have wanted to prove to you that she was not really an angry person…..right?

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  5. Hahaha! I am with you on a good stylist. I only go to my sister (the middlest one!)… who lives clear across the country from me. I can see her needing court-mandated anger management classes one day. Maybe a good stylist needs to be, ah, “passionate”? 😀

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    • And Nic – you deserve some credit for my illustration. I learned from you how much emotion is conveyed in the eyebrows!

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  6. as usual, i love this post and the accompanying picture. hysterical. soooooo appropriate for me. i just divorced my stylist of five years (not due to anger management) due to the fact that i was putting more into the relationship than he was. “hair grows back.” oh my gosh. love that – – BUT AT WHAT PRICE??? i saw a new sylist yesterday (she was about 16 i think) and i am in love again. i feel like a million bucks (and that might have been what it cost). i plan a blog post when i recover from the financial sting. thanks for making my stressful friday more bearable.

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  7. Hahahahahaaa!!!! How’d your hair survive?

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  8. Was she related to Sweeny Todd? The only thing worse than an angry hairdresser is one who is in love. I have scars to prove it. One of your best illustrations.

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  9. I would love to see a pic of the haircut you received that day! And I think you made the right decision in finding a new stylist ASAP!

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    • Oh yeah, I figured I would NEVER be able to complain again. Too risky.

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  10. Did you get up before she wielded her scissors on your poor unsuspecting hair? I would have run! Hair does grow, sometimes not fast enough though.

    I guess it is living in Texas that causes us to think of distance differently, 30 miles is nothing really. I drive far more than that for a great cut and color.

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  11. Aaaaagh! And you had the courage to break up with her?? Be afraid. Be very afraid.

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    • It’s been four years, so I figure I am safe. I saw her once as I was going into the post office. I went back to my car, and waiting until she drove away.

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  12. Dor

    A true horror story! Love it that as you got older you wanted to experiment with “local hair!” Local hair? Stick to driving across the state to be safe. This post is soooo funny. 🙂

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  13. Loved this! Just brilliant!!! 🙂

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  14. Love your drawings. Yes, a scary story. I just wrote about hair and anger management- but not together! http://www.cyclingrandma.wordpress.com

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  15. Oh, I would be gone like a bullet as soon as I saw those scissors. No wonder it took you four years . . .

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  16. Only you, Nancy, only you!! I’m glad you lived to tell THIS tale!

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  17. That’s enough to make my curls straight!

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  18. Haha, hair stylists really need to Lear not to overshare. I’ve left a few for that very reason. Example: hearing that you’re on heroine addiction drugs does not make me warm and fuzzy when you’re holding a sharp inner!

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  19. Michelle Gillies

    Believe it or not I actually travel about 250 km to get my hair done. Not only that, I travel to another country to get my hair done. It is worth every minute/cent. Years ago, after losing my hair to chemo, I made myself a promise that no matter what I would always take care of my hair when it came back. It took me some time to find Tony but I can’t imagine ever going “local” again. The funniest part is crossing the border from Canada to the US. When they ask where I am going and I tell them “to get my hair done” without fail they always say “Don’t they have hairdressers in Toronto?”

    I wrote a blog about it once http://silkpurseproductions.wordpress.com/2010/09/07/how-far-would-you-go/

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    • That’s really far. But I guess it makes it an “event” – and that’s fun.

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  20. goodoldgirl

    The same guy’s been cutting my hair for most of the last 30 years. I say most of because I leave him every 6 or 7 years or so. I always end up back in his chair, though, because he calls me to see what I’m up to. Over the years, I’ve asked him to cut my hair a gazillion different ways. It always ends up the same. So, why do I keep going back? Guilt, pure and simple. He has a knack for making me feel like the scum of the earth for not showing up in his chair every 6-8 weeks. He’s even older than me so I finally decided that I’d just wait him out. Last time I was in there, I asked him when he planned to retire and he said something along the lines of, “Hah! I’m not leaving this shop standing up.” Sigh.

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  21. I moved to Ottawa in December and haven’t had my hair done since then. I don’t know how to find a good hairdresser who will just give me a plain, simple haircut! – Maureen

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  22. My daughter is a cosmetologist and I go to her salon to get my hair done. I keep the conversation light at these times because I do not want to make any waves with her. She does a fantastic job. I have never looked so groomed 😉

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  23. At least you were not getting a shave, too. Although that would have been weird to begin with…

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  24. Too funny. This is just why I have grown my hair out for locks of love, three times and counting.

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